


Looking for acceptance

by laddyuna



Series: Addicted to you [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Dark Past, F/M, Family, Friendship, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Rape, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-01-03 08:56:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 66,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laddyuna/pseuds/laddyuna
Summary: What are you ready to do to be loved? Finding the answer is easy, doing it to get what you want is harder…the story takes place after the last events in Ikebukuro.Pretty dark fanfiction. Check the tags please. My first one for Durarara.English isn't my language so thanks in advance for understanding.





	1. Bitterness

Cold. Winter came fast. Despite of that, there were still a lot of people in the streets, hanging around, having dinner or a drink…Nothing seemed to have happened, but nobody forgot the last events. Shizuo and Izaya’s fight, Saika’s adepts, Mikado’s madness, “Kadota’s accident”, and…Celty. After have looked for her head for so long, she finally found it and was about to leave. Time had come to go back to her country to do her mission, but Shinra couldn’t let it happen. He loved her too much to let her go. Everybody tried to make her change her mind, but she was determined to leave…until Shinra asked to Shizuo to throw him in the air. He knew Celty would save him and he would get close to her to separate her head from her body again with Saika’s blade. Even if she was glad to go back to her daily routine with her friends and Shinra, she couldn’t help to feel a bit sad.

Shizuo had finished his day. As usual, he lost his temper again and hit people they were visiting to collect the debts before they could have said anything. He still had his plaster for his left arm but it didn’t stop him to work. As if anything could stop him anyway! Even the great Orihara Izaya couldn’t have stopped him. He was definitely invincible.

“Good work today.” Said Tom, walking by Shizuo’s side.

“Sorry for today…” murmured Shizuo, looking down.

“Ah…it’s not like it was the first time, right?”

“Hmm…”

“By the way, I received a message from Vorona. She has arrived in Russia. She says hi.”

“Good.”

Tom checked his watch. “Ah! Need to leave. I have a date tonight!”

“Someone I know?”

“Amber.”

“The waitress of Kishito café?”

“Yep! Pretty cute, ne?”

“Yeah. Lucky bastard!”

“I can ask her if she has a friend, you know? This way we could go on a double date?”

“Ah, no thanks. I need to see someone tonight.”

“A girl?”

“Kind of…”

“??”

“Celty. I haven’t seen her since…”

“I see. Ok. Have fun guys!”

“See you tomorrow Tom-san.”

Tom waved at Shizuo and went to the opposite side.

Shizuo walked toward the park. People crossed the streets to avoid him. Since his last fight with Izaya, his reputation as the fortissimo of Ikebukuro increased. He remembered this night again and again.

_“Do it monster!”_

Izaya’s words resonated in his mind. He started to wonder if he wasn’t right after all. Nobody was supposed to be that strong…but he was relieved to be accepted at least by his friends and his family. He still had Shinra, Celty, Kadota and his friends, Tom, and Kasuka.

He sighted heavily, reaching the park, and sat on the bench to wait for Celty.

After ten minutes, he recognized the sound of her bike…or actually Shooter’s roars, her headless horse.

“Oh Celty. Hi.”

She tapped on her PDA._ **“Hi Shizuo.”**_

“So? How are you?”

** _“Fine, fine…I guess.” _ **

Even if she hadn’t her head, Shizuo could see she wasn’t feeling well. He wasn’t the cleverest person, but he wasn’t blind. He could guess by her body language she was depressed.

“What’s wrong?”

** _“?”_ **

“You look depressed. Is there anything wrong with Shinra?”

** _“Yes and no…”_ **

“Tell me.”

She sighted, flinching her shoulders. _“**What do you expect from me? I just lost my head again and I don’t know who took it and what they’re gonna do with it…”**_

“Celty…”

** _“I feel like Frankenstein’s monster.”_ **

“I know what you can feel…” he said sadly.

She fixed him. _“**You know…but it didn’t stop you to help Shinra…”**_

“What are you talking about?” frowned Shizuo.

** _“You…you were the one who threw him in the air to let him cut my head again. Without you, he wouldn’t have been able to do it…and I could have gone back to my country.”_ **

“Was it what you really wanted? Leaving us behind you? Abandoning Shinra?”

** _“No…of course not. But…I want my head back. Besides…”_ **

“Besides?”

** _“Shinra could have been hurt. What if I hadn’t caught him in time? Have you thought about this when you threw him in the air?”_ **

“He was the one who asked me!”

** _“You didn’t have to obey him!”_ **

“I didn’t know what he intended to do! I…”

** _“You knew! Don’t pretend you didn’t…why would you have done it if you really didn’t?”_ **

Shizuo brushed his hair nervously. He was feeling guilty. “Celty…nobody wanted to see you leaving. I didn’t want to lose you…Shinra neither. You’re my friend. You’re precious to me…”

** _“Do precious friends always do that?”_ **

“Do what?”

** _“Forcing people to stay against their will?”_ **

“…”

She used her PDA again and showed it to Shizuo. _“**I know why you did it and…I’m glad to be with you guys, but…it’s hard to accept. I always knew Shinra’s feelings. I knew he would have done everything to keep me by his side. His happiness only matters…but I expected more from you, Shizuo…”**_

“Celty…that’s not…”He didn’t know how to finish his sentence. What should he have done?

** _“See. You can’t even give a good reason. I feel betrayed…”_ **

“I never betrayed you!”

_“**Yes you did…I’ve always been there for you, but I can’t say the same for you. Where were you when I was fighting to free myself?”**_

“I came to help you! I came with Shooter and…”

** _“And what did you do after that? You rushed to fight with Izaya again.”_ **

He shut up, remembering the night. She was right. He let her to fight the flea again. He had been selfish.

“I’m sorry…”

She waved at him. “**_Forget it. I suppose I just need more time to accept the situation…”_** She went back on her bike.

Shizuo grabbed her hand. “I…”

** _“?”_ **

“I never wanted to make you sad or to betray you, Celty. Please, don’t hate me…”

She seemed to chuckle. **_“Shinra told me the same thing…just give me more time.”_**

“But…are we still friends?” Shizuo looked at her, almost desperate.

**_“Yes…I guess.”_** She was ready to leave and waved at him._ “**See you.”**_

“Take care.” Shizuo wanted to stay with her a bit longer. He felt lonely, but since she was depressed and a bit upset against him, he understood he couldn’t ask her. “Just…”

** _“?”_ **

“Just remember I really care about you. You’re my best friend.”

She nodded, silently, before getting on her bike again and left. Shizuo looked at her leaving sadly.

“Forgive me Celty…”

He returned to his home, hands in his pockets. He kept fixing the ground, hanging around as a ghost. He used to blame Izaya for everything, but it wasn’t his fault this time. Actually, yes it was…but it wasn’t for this reason Celty was mad at him. It was true he helped Shinra, but he just did what he asked him, that was all. But it was true it was unfair for her…

He arrived in his small apartment. He took off his shoes and stripped, staying with just his boxer. He opened his fridge and took the bottle of milk to fill a glass. He drank it quickly before putting loudly the empty glass on the table, almost breaking it. He was frustrated…

“Fuck!”

He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and took a stick. He needed to occupy his mouth. He couldn’t suppress his anger but it was late in the night. It was already a miracle he could have kept to rent this place for so long without breaking the walls.

“I hope you’re proud of you, fucking bloody flea! Now you even managed to turn me against my own friends!” He blamed Izaya again. What else could he do? Everything happened because of him. It was easier for him to put the blame on him, even if he knew he was already a problem before meeting him.

He sighted, inhaling the smoke of his cigarette. Bitter. Everything was bitter. With or without Izaya, his life was a mess. Even far away from him, the flea caused him troubles…


	2. Stubbornness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your kudos, guys!

Shizuo woke up early in the morning. Actually, he hadn’t been able to sleep after his encounter with Celty. He thought again and again about what he should say to her to get her forgiveness. But there was nothing he could say to make her feel better.

He took a shower, dressed in his usual bartender suit and left his place to meet Tom at work.

In the frosty morning, he walked alone, ignoring whispers and looks. People continued to avoid him. He didn’t care. He arrived ten minutes later.

“Good morning Shizuo.” Said the secretary welcoming him.

“Hi Anna.”

“Tom is with the boss. He’s waiting for you in his office.”

“Thanks.”

Shizuo moved to the boss’s office and knocked.

“Come in!”

“Morning Boos. Tom.”

“Morning Shizuo. Have a seat.”

The blond sat by Tom’s side and stared at the boss, waiting for instructions.

“I just gave to Tom the list of the persons you must visit today.”

“Ok.”

The two men got up at the same time when the boss called them. “Oi, Shizuo?”

“Yes Boss?”

“Try to cool down today. I appreciate your work but I don’t want to pay the bill each time you beat someone. Got it?”

“Yes Boss. I’ll do my best.”

He nodded and used his phone, waving at them. They left the office and went to the streets, walking to their first client.

Tom could see Shizuo was upset. “Don’t mind the Boss, Shizuo. The guy you beat yesterday sent him the bill of the hospital, so…”

“I know.”

“There’s nothing personal. Just let me talk until I give you the signal to act, ok?”

“Understood.”

Tom wanted to cheer him up, so he offered him a takeaway coffee on the road. “So? How is Celty? Did you guys have fun?”

“Oh…yes.” He didn’t want to tell Tom about their discussion. It would depress him even more, so he dropped the subject. “What about your date?”

“Ah! Very nice indeed!”

“Did she end in your bed?”

“I can’t help it if I’m that irresistible!”

Shizuo chuckled. Actually, he envied Tom. He wished to be liked him…so cool and calm, charming and friendly. He was just his opposite no matter what he could do.

“I’m gonna see her again tonight.”

“Seems serious between you two?”

“Dunno…but I can tell you she’s pretty good!”

“I can guess!”

Tom felt Shizuo was hiding something. He wasn’t just his superior, or sempai, but also his friend. He had always been there to defend him against people who called him “monster”.

“Shizuo?”

“What?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“You look…depressed. Is it because of what the boss told you earlier or…”

“No it’s fine. I suppose I just need time to forget about…you know, the last events…”

“I see. But you should be happy. We haven’t heard anything about Orihara since two weeks…”

“Yeah…” Shizuo sighted mentally. _“Maybe he’s dead? It doesn’t make me feel better anyway…so I guess I just used him as an excuse. I’m always in a bad mood with or without him…”_

“You should try to forget it, man. Why don’t you go out tonight to change your mind?”

“Well, I’ll think about it.”

At the end of the day, it happened again. As expected, Shizuo beat all the clients they visited, but the last one provoked other troubles. The man had refused to pay and tried to run away. He had tried to hurt Tom with a knife and Shizuo interfered just in time to protect him. The man had pushed them to run but the blond had thrown a garbage can over him.

“Oi! Shizuo! Calm down!!” shouted Tom. But it was already too late.

The garbage can hit the man. But just at this time, a woman with her daughter was walking on the same street. The man crashed against the woman who fell on her back and hit the ground severely with her head. The kid panicked and tried to run when a car hit her on the crosswalk.

Shizuo and Tom rushed to them. The woman was knocked and the kid was unconscious.

“Call the emergencies! Hurry!!”

The blond was terrified. Just to stop one man, he had provoked a terrible accident. He was completely disoriented. Fortunately, Tom reacted pretty fast. The ambulance came quickly and both of them accompanied the woman and the kid to the hospital.

They waited and waited again. During this time, Tom had called the office to inform the boss about the situation and he knew Shizuo would be blamed again. It wasn’t his fault and he didn’t want to see his friend more depressed than he was already. He could see he was feeling guilty. It was an accident. A stupid accident…

After two hours, the doctor came to see them.

“It’s ok. The mother just has a concussion and fortunately, the kid is safe. Just a broken leg and broken ribs.”

Tom sighted with relief. “Thank God...”

“How many days will they stay here?”

“I don’t know…maybe two or three days to be sure everything is alright, but don’t worry. It doesn’t seem to be serious.”

“Thank you for your hard work.”

Shizuo bowed and remained quiet. After a certain time, they headed back to the office. During the road, Tom didn’t talk. He could guess Shizuo didn’t want to so he didn’t insist.

When they arrived, the boss yelled at Shizuo. He was furious. He had warned him this morning, but as always, the blond didn’t listen. He told him to leave and to not come back, which Shizuo did without protesting. He just had lost another job.

Tom stayed with the boss almost one hour.

“Boss, please. I know Shizuo made a mistake but…”

“He’s out of control, Tom. I can’t stand it anymore!”

“But since he’s working for us, we managed to collect more debts than before, right?

“Yes! But all the money we got has been spent to pay hospital bills. That’s enough!”

Tom sighted. “I’ll pay for this one. Just please…don’t fire him.”

“You’re a good man, Tom. But Shizuo will cause troubles again. It’s just a question of time. I’ve nothing against him and you know it, but…”

“Please. He really needs this job. Just give him another chance. Take the money on my salary to pay the hospital.”

“Why are you doing that for him?”

“He saved my life today, Boss. I can’t let him down. So please…”

The man sat again and finally accepted. “There’s no way I would take it on your salary, Tom. It’s ok for this time, but he better behave himself. This is his last chance.”

“Thank you so much, Boss.” Bowed Tom.

“Go back home, Tom. You need to rest. Tell him to take few days off. It will give him the time to calm down.”

“How many days?”

“A week would be good.”

“Ok. Thanks again.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Tom left the office and called Shizuo.

“_Hello_?”

“Shizuo? Where are you?”

_“I came back home. So sorry for today, Tom.”_

“It’s ok. I just talked to the Boss and he accepted to give you another chance.”

_“So…I’m not fired?”_

“No. The boss asked me to tell you to take some days off. Take the whole week and try to relax, ok?”

_“Tom…I don’t know what to say…”_

“You saved my life and it’s not the first time, so let’s say we’re even, ok?”

_“Thank you.”_

“You’re welcome. I’ll call you tomorrow. So just rest for today and enjoy the time you have to go out. You really need to relax, man.”

_“Ok.”_

“Why don’t you call Celty and Shinra? Or maybe go the Russian sushi?”

_“No…I think I had enough “fun” for today. I should just stay at home…”_

“Don’t get depressed, Shizuo. It was an accident. They are alright now.

_“I know…thanks for your help, Tom. You should go or you would be late for your date.”_

“Yeah…will you be alright?”

_“Yes. Don’t worry about me. I’m a big boy.”_

“Yeah…Don’t hesitate to call me if you feel down, ok?”

_“No problem. Have a good night.”_

“Thanks my friend. See you.”

Tom ended the call and looked sorry for his friend. Shizuo was having a bad day and he felt really helpless. He wished he could do something to make him feel better, but there was nothing to say or to do. He sighed and left to join his girlfriend.

* * *

In his home, Shizuo was drinking a glass of whiskey. He wasn’t used to drink, except milk, but tonight, he needed to be drunk to forget his bad day. He hated the taste of alcohol, but he drank and drank again. His plaster began to bother him, so he just broke it, ignoring the fact his arm wasn’t healed yet. He didn’t care. It was as if he did it on purpose to hurt himself.

After two bottles, he wasn’t drunk yet. His tolerance of alcohol seemed to be pretty high. He felt bored and he needed to talk to someone, so he called Shinra.

_“Hello?”_

“Shinra?”

_“Shizuo! Long time no see! How are you?”_

“Fine…I just wondered if Celty…” he didn’t know how to ask it.

_“Ah…she’s still mad. You know, she hasn’t talked to me since…I cut her head.”_

“So…she’s still mad at me…”

_“Sorry. I was the one who asked you this. I’m sure she will forgive us. She just needs more time…”_

“I know.”

_“I’m sorry to have caused troubles in your friendship. You’re precious to her, so don’t get upset about this. She won’t stay mad eternally…”_

“I know…after all, she’s more “human” than anybody in this bloody town.”

_“Tell me about it!”_

He chuckled. “Hey…I wondered something else. Have you heard about the flea?”

_“Izaya? No. I know Celty is often on the chat but we heard nothing about him since the last time you two fought.”_

“I see…”

_“Why do you ask? Miss him already?”_

“Of course not! Just the curiosity I guess…” After a moment of hesitation, he dared ask it. “Do you think…I killed him?”

_“He was alive when he left the city. Celty told me she sealed his wound with her shadow until he was brought to a doctor. I supposed you broke his arms and maybe his jaw when you hit him…I’m more concerned about the wound caused by Vorona’s knife…but knowing Izaya, I’m sure he’s still alive. He’s like a cat! He always lands on his feet.”_

“You’re probably right. Take care of Celty.”

_“Sure. Bye my friend.”_

Shizuo threw his cell phone on the couch when he ended his call. He was tired. He needed to rest, but he also knew he wouldn’t sleep at all.


	3. Loneliness

He had a terrible night. He couldn’t sleep at all. He couldn’t erase the pictures of the accident and when he finally managed to think about something else, he recalled his fight with Izaya. He woke up several times, sweating and breathing heavily. The alcohol just gave him a headache and didn’t help him to forget. He didn’t manage to get drunk. He hadn’t eaten and he smoked cigarette after cigarette until he emptied his pack. His throat was dry and he started to cough. He decided he had enough to fight trying to find some sleep and got up to take a shower. He dressed and left his place to have a walk.

Breathing a fresh air would help him to relax. But the first looks he got walking in the streets made him feel uncomfortable. It was as if everybody already knew about the incident yesterday. Gossips spread fast in the city. He didn’t want to stay outside any longer and went to the first store to buy some food and booze. He bought some instant food, several bottles of different alcohols, chocolates and ice creams. When he left the store, he met an old acquaintance in the street.

“Kadota!”

The man faced him and waved at him. “Long time no see, Shizuo.”

“Yeah…what’s up, man?”

“Oh…nothing. Just work.”

“How are you feeling now since your accident?”

“Better. Thanks for asking.”

Shizuo guessed the man didn’t want to talk with him. He was answering shortly and didn’t seem to be at ease.

“Is there anything wrong?”

Kadota shrugged. “Not really.”

“Then, why are you acting this way with me?”

“I’m in the middle of work now, so I don’t have time to speak with you, sorry, man.”

Shizuo glared at him. “Is that the best you’ve got? Being busy? Why don’t you tell me honestly what do you think?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Replied calmly Kadota.

“Spit it out! You think I’m too stupid to see you’re avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you. I’m talking to you right now, do I?”

“You’re running away from me, answering vaguely!”

“Who’s the fault?”

Shizuo frowned. “What?”

“After what happened the last time, what do you think people would think about you?”

Shizuo clenched his fists angrily. “Do you pity the flea now? Did you forget he was the one who attacked me first?? He wanted to kill me!”

“I know. You always claimed you wanted to kill him. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but at this time, it were just words…”

“And??”

“I’ve never thought you were capable to do it. I was wrong.”

Kadota’s words hit the blond. “I didn’t kill him.”

“But you were ready to do it. if Vorona and Simon hadn’t been there, he would be dead.”

“You would have preferred to see me dead in his place, huh?”

“You don’t understand…” Kadota started to leave but Shizuo called him.

“I hate violence! I’ve never looked for troubles and you know it! He was the one who ruined my life. He made me lost my jobs, ruined my reputation, made me arrested for a crime that I never did…and everybody feels sad for him because I defended myself???”

Kadota turned around and stared at him. “I feel no pity or compassion for Izaya. He deserved everything he got. But reacting to his teases made you as bad as he is.”

“…”

“Look at yourself, Shizuo. You’re incapable to control yourself, even without Izaya around.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, idiot!! You think I’m pleased to be like that?”

“No. But it doesn’t mean all of us have to accept it just because it’s you.”

The blond remained quiet. Kadota was right. He was the problem and he never bothered to apologize or anything.

“Izaya is a bad person but you’re different. At least until now…”

“So you see me as a “monster” as everybody?”

“No. I want to believe you’re still the rough man I know and not the potential killer I’ve seen this night…” Then, Kadota left, saying goodbye.

Shizuo stayed some minutes immobile, thinking about Kadota’s words. He was right. He became as bad as Izaya this night and he was actually thankful to Vorona to have interfered in their fight. But killing Izaya was the last thing he wanted to do…

He went back to home and tried to sleep the entire day. It was impossible. He didn’t eat or drink. He had lost his appetite and he really hated the taste of alcohol. He had enough to smoke and smoke again. He was getting bored. Celty was still mad at him, Kadota was distant, Tom was busy with his girlfriend…he didn’t know who to call. He needed to talk with someone, so he took his cell phone and decided to call his brother, but he ended on his voicemail. Kasuka was probably busy to answer him.

He passed the whole day, trying to occupy his mind but nothing worked. He wanted to wait for the night to go out. There would be less people in the streets. Tom had sent him a message asking him if everything was alright. He wanted to call him but when Shizuo asked him about his girlfriend, he told him that they had plans tonight, so the blond understood it wasn’t the right time to disturb him with his problems.

Later in the night, he went outside and reached the city center. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday so he began to be hungry. Since he didn’t want to eat alone, he decided to go to the Russian Sushi. Maybe Simon would cheer him up with his terrible accent?

But when he arrived in front of the restaurant, he was surprised to see closed doors with a word.

_“Closed exceptionally”._

“Great! Fucking great!!” cursed mentally Shizuo.

He had no desire to go back to his place, alone with his thoughts. Whatever! He would have fun tonight! He went to the first hostess bar. He came in and ordered few drinks before choosing a girl. He wanted to have sex right now, to forget everything. When was the last time he got laid? He couldn’t remember.

The woman was beautiful, with short black hair and brown eyes. She was pretty sexy with a short dress. Shizuo could feel his pants getting tighter just looking at her. They went upstairs, in a private room.

He sat at the edge of the bed, fixing her.

“Come closer.”

The poor woman was shaking. She had hoped he wouldn’t have chosen her. She approached slowly, tried to contain her fear and her shaking. She almost froze when Shizuo grabbed her hand gently. 

“Are you scared of me?”

She stammered nervously. “N-No! Of course…n-not, Sir…”

Her slender body was trembling like a leaf. Everybody knew the blond bartender. It was impossible to take him for someone else.

“Listen, you don’t have to be scared. I won’t touch you. I’ll let you ride me and I won’t use my hands on you, ok? This way, I won’t be able to hurt you.”

The woman nodded but kept her eyes down. She was too afraid to look at the blond in the eyes. Shizuo lay down on the bed, on his back and began to take his clothes off. The woman didn’t move immediately, probably waiting for next instructions. When he got completely naked, he invited her to be on the top of him, what she did, shaking harder. She put her hands on the strong torso to position herself. No foreplay, no kiss…she just wanted to end this fast, so she went above the hard cock, ready to impale herself on, but she couldn’t stand because of her shaking hands.

Shizuo sighted. “Stop.”

“Wh..what?”

“Forget it. I’ve changed my mind.” He moved away from her and took his clothes on.

The girl was more than relieved but she tried to hide it. She could see the hurt expression on the blond’s face and felt sorry for him.

“I’m..so..s-sorry, Sir..”

“Never mind. Take the money.”

“But…”

“I don’t care. Just fucking leave.”

The brunette took the money on the bed and left immediately. Shizuo tried to remain calm but he was screaming mentally. He decided to leave before doing something he would regret.

But he couldn’t go back home yet. He was too stressed and really needed something to relax. He was still aroused, so since women would react this way, he decided to switch for a man. Anything as long as he wasn’t alone. He never had sex with a man but he didn’t care.

He reached the first host club but when the men who were chasing customers saw him coming, they turned around and avoided him. The blond could see the same scared expression on their face. He didn’t bother to come in the club and understood he wouldn’t get laid tonight.

He became desperate and chose finally to go back to his lair where he belonged to.

“The flea was fucking right…I’m a beast…”

When he arrived at his home, he stripped completely and went to the shower again. He didn’t wait to have the perfect temperature and started to shower with cold water. He was still hard and tried to rub his cock to come. He closed his eyes and thought about the same mental picture he used every time he needed to masturbate…but even if he pumped hard and fast his organ, he didn’t manage to come. After ten minutes he had enough and gave up. He sat in the shower and let the water pouring along his body. He stayed there minutes, then hours…until the water became cold again. He almost fell asleep there.

He was lost in despair. He needed somebody…anybody, to give him some comfort, some love, some affection…even some hate as long as he could make the loneliness disappear. But he was alone: Celty, Shinra, Kasuka, Tom, Kadota…Izaya. 

He got up and took a towel to dry his body. He faced his own reflection in the mirror. He couldn’t even stand to see his face anymore. He hated himself. Why couldn’t he be normal? Why was he so threatening? What was wrong with him? He punched the mirror and broke it with his fist. Some fragments of glass made him bleed but the pain was nothing compared to the awful state of mind he was in right now. He didn’t bother to treat his wound or to clean the blood on the broken mirror and went back to the living room. The silence was heavy…

**“You’re feeling lonely, right? That’s what happens when we act as a monster.”**

“I’m not a monster.”

** “It must be rude to see the persons you care moving away from you, does it?”**

“…”

**“You disappointed your friends. You put the shame on your own name, forcing your brother taking another one to continue his career; you caused troubles to the only persons who gave you a decent job hurting innocent people, without talking about what you did to a certain person…tell me, are you proud of yourself?”**

“How could I? I never wanted this to begin with!”

**“Don’t you get it already? There’s no place in this world for someone like you.”**

“Izaya used to say that too…”

**“You should know better than anyone that Orihara is not in condition to say that again…thanks to you.”**

“He’s not…”

**“Dead? Not yet. Was it what you wanted anyway?”**

“No…I’ve never wanted that…”

**“Then, why did you claim it all the time?”**

“Shut up…”

** “What about your brother? Don’t you like him? Have you ever wondered why he stopped using his real name to take the stage name Yuuhei Hanejima? How could he say he’s your younger brother?”**

“Shut up…”

**“What about the Dullahan? She had faith in you and you just betrayed her, just to keep her by your side…such a selfish friend you are…”**

“SHUT UP!!!”

**“Only the truth hurts…”**

“Just go die and leave me alone.”

**“You can’t run away from yourself. Why don’t you destroy yourself instead of ruining people’s life? Your loss would be the best gift you could do to this city…”**

“Those are the flea’s words…”

**“The flea, huh? What do you think you are?”**

“…”

**“Say it.”**

“…”

**“We both know what you are…say it.”**

“A waste of a human being…” he admitted, defeated.

**“Oh no, my dear…it’s still too good to describe you…so?”**

“I’m…”

**“Yes?”**

“…a monster.”

**“I would have said a failure…but it’s also a good answer.”**

Shizuo was exhausted to hear the same reproaches again and again. At this moment, he felt so lonely. He would have done anything to have someone to talk right now…anyone rather than being alone with his guiltiness and his mad brain…he started to hear voices since a long time ago now. He did everything to ignore this little voice in his head…but each time he was feeling bad, it came back to torture him. He never told anybody about the voice. He was already considered as a monster physically, he didn’t need to let people know that he was also crazy and sick mentally. He never tried to cure himself, making a therapy or something. He always hid his weakness the best way he could burying it deeper. As long as he had his friends, it was ok. But today, he was alone…left to himself. It was really a problem since he wasn’t capable to kill himself. Not that he had never tried it, but his body was too strong.

He was feeling bad. He needed to scream, to explode…but it was as if something was restraining him. He was suffocating, despite the fact he opened widely the widow. He was hot, he was angry against himself, against the rest of the world…why him? What did he have to do to be saved from himself? He just wanted to be accepted, to be loved, as a simple human being…was it too much to ask?

“Fuck…fuck…FUCK!!!”

He released his anger and started to destroy everything around him: his table, the chairs, the plates, the glasses, the fridge, the windows…everything was in a mess. He could guess people in the building would be alerted by all the noise he did, but he didn’t care. There was broken glass everywhere. He didn’t give a damn and walked on it with his naked feet. The blood was now covering the floor. Without waiting, he just grabbed his cell phone and put his shoes on despite the fact he was injured. He opened the door and could see the neighbors whispering and observing his door in the corridor. Everybody got frozen when they saw him and began to go back to their own place, closing the door quickly. Shizuo just walked in the corridor and left the building.


	4. Disappearance

The next day, Tom was having his breakfast. Even if he was supposed to have some days off, he went back to work to help. The boss gave another chance to Shizuo so he thought he owed him this. He passed the entire day visiting people and he couldn’t help to be bored. Without Shizuo by his side, it wasn’t the same thing. He supposed his friend was feeling a bit depressed so at the end of the day, he decided to call him. But on the road, he met Shinra.

“Oh Tanaka-san!”

“Kishitani-san.”

“No need to be so formal, you know? Call me Shinra.”

“Yes, then call me Tom. How are you anyway?”

“Good. Thanks for asking. Where’s Shizuo?”

“He took a week off. I suppose he’s at home. I was about to call him.”

“Ah…is there a problem?”

“No…but you know him. He kinda exploded again and hurt people so the boss told him to take some days to cool down.”

Shinra was a bit suspicious. “Are you sure about this?”

“Well, let’s say I convinced the boss to not fire him…”

“That’s what I thought. He never managed to keep a job longer than a day anyway. It’s a miracle he stayed for so long.”

“He’s doing a great job…even if it’s not easy to deal with his temper sometimes.”

“I can guess…but it’s great you convinced your boss. I suppose he wouldn’t have reacted very well if he had lost his job, especially now…”

“Why now?”

“Well, you know, since the last time, Celty is a bit upset and she kinda argued with Shizuo the last time they saw each other…”

“Oh? Really?”

“Yeah. It’s my fault. I mean, I was the one who asked Shizuo to throw me in the air to cut Celty’s head. She felt betrayed by him…I understand she could be mad at me, but it’s unfair for Shizuo…”

“I see…that’s why he looked so gloomy lately…” Tom checked his cell phone. “I’m gonna call him.”

“Ok. Tell him hi for me. I’m leaving now. See you later Tom-san.”

“Bye Shinra.”

Tom composed Shizuo’s number but changed his mind. This night, he intended to surprise him bringing him diner and some booze. This way, they could talk. He headed to the Russian Sushi and recognized Simon in the street.

“Tom-san! Welcome! Sushi is good for you.”

“Hi Simon.” He came in and ordered some takeaway food.

“Say hi to Shizuo! Tell him to eat sushi. Sushi is good to cool the mind.”

“I’ll tell him. Thanks Simon.”

Tom stopped at the first store and bought some beers and other alcohols. He walked to Shizuo’s neighborhood and arrived in front of his building.

He rang the bell outside at the intercom but no one answered. He guessed the blond was probably taking a shower or something so he called the building caretaker.

“Tanaka-san.”

“Hi Sir. Sorry to bother you but I’m visiting Shizuo and he didn’t answer me when I rang. I tried to call his cell phone but he didn’t pick up.”

“Heiwajima-san hasn’t come back since yesterday night.”

“Ah?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what happened but in the middle of the night, everybody heard a lot of noises coming from his place…we thought he had a fight with someone and after few minutes, he left the apartment as if nothing happened…”

“Wh..what?”

“Yeah! I thought you came here for this.”

“Did you come in since he left?”

“No! I didn’t dare. I want to live, you know?”

“Ok…can you let me in please? I wanna see by myself.”

“But if he knows I let you in, he will…”

“He will do nothing. I know him, don’t worry.”

The man didn’t seem to be reassured but he accepted.

They went to the third floor and they arrived in front of Shizuo’s place. The man used the key to open the door. His hands were shaking. Tom came in first and when he pushed the door, he could see the whole mess Shizuo did.

“Damn…what happened here?”

Broken glass, broken wood, blood…everything was destroyed. Nothing resisted.

“Have you seen someone visiting him?”

“I don’t know…”

“Did someone leave after him yesterday?”

“Don’t think so…” the man was frozen by what he saw.

Tom checked every place. When he opened the dressing, every bartender suit Kasuka offered to his brother was ripped out. In the bathroom, the mirror was broken and there was blood and broken glass on the floor and the washbasin.

“I don’t know if he was alone, but if that’s the case, something probably happened to put him in the state of rage…”

Tom took his cell phone and tried to call Shizuo, in vain. He asked to the man to leave and used again his phone.

“Shinra? Sorry to bother you but could you come to Shizuo’s place now with Celty?”

_“Is there a problem Tom-san?”_

“Yeah…kind of. Shizuo disappeared…and I’m worried. His apartment is in a mess and there’s blood everywhere.”

_“B-blood?”_

“Yes…we’ll talk about it when you’ll be there.”

_“Ok. We’re leaving immediately. Have you tried to call him?”_

“He doesn’t answer. I’ll try to call his brother.”

_“Fine. I’ll call Kadota on the road in the case of he saw him.”_

“Ok. I’m waiting.”

Tom sighted and took a look around him. He was wondering what happened to Shizuo and he regretted to not have come to visit him yesterday.

“Shizuo…where are you?”

After half an hour, Celty and Shinra arrived at Shizuo’s place. They were surprised to see Kasuka with Tom.

“Hi guys. So? Something new about Shizuo?”

“Shinra. Celty. Good to see you.”

Kasuka saluted them with his head. The two men were standing in the living room in the middle of the wreckage.

Celty and Shinra were really shocked. The headless woman tapped something on her PDA and showed it to Tom.

** _“What happened here?”_ **

“The guardian told me people heard a lot of noises in the middle of night coming from Shizuo’s place. Then, he left and he hasn’t come back since yesterday night…that’s all.”

Shinra checked the blood and took a sample. “I’ll check if it’s his blood but…”

“I suppose it’s his own. He broke the mirror in the bathroom too…he even ripped all of his bartender suits…”

If Celty had a head, she would blink right now. **_“WHAT???”_**

“Yeah…sounds surprising coming from him knowing that he usually almost beat to death people who got dirty his clothes since it was a gift from Kasuka…”

The little brother remained quiet and emotionless but even if he didn’t show it, he was very worried for Shizuo. 

“Did you call Kadota? Did he see him?”

“Kadota told me he saw Shizuo yesterday afternoon. He also told me he had a little quarrel with him but he hasn’t seen him since then.”

“A little quarrel?”

“Well, Kadota seems to have told Shizuo he shouldn’t have reacted that way against Izaya because it made him become as bad as him…”

Tom rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t the best thing to tell him…”

Celty looked down and tapped some words on her PDA. **_“I didn’t help blaming him for my head either…”_**

“Shizuo called me yesterday night. I was busy so I didn’t answer. I planned to call him the next morning but he didn’t pick up his phone…but now I consider things, it’s was unusual from him to call me this way, especially that late…” said Kasuka.

“Do you think he had a fight with someone? I mean, it would explain the blood and the wreckage and…” said Tom.

“We should try to find him. Who knows what he’s capable to do now in his state? Call Kadota and ask him to look for him with his friends.” Replied Shinra.

“Ok. Let’s go.”


	5. Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be busy for the next days so i'm posting two other chapters today.  
Warning: explicit violence and sexual content here...and weird things...i don't know how it turned like that...feel free to tell me what you think

Days passed and no one managed to find Shizuo. It was as if he had never existed. He completely vanished. Everybody was looking for him: Celty, Shinra, Kasuka, Tom, Kadota and his friends, Mikado, Anri, Kida, Saki, even Simon and Chikage. But Shizuo was nowhere.

After two months, everybody was getting even more worried each passing day; they even contacted the police but nothing.

One night. The group met at Shinra and Celty’s place. After have checked it, Shinra confirmed it was Shizuo’s blood they found in his apartment.

“Thanks for coming, guys.” Said Shinra. “So? Anyone got some good news?”

Everyone shook his head sadly.

Celty and Kadota were feeling particularly guilty. They had blamed Shizuo for nothing and now they regretted. Even Kasuka was feeling bad. His brother never requested his help but if he called him this night, it was probably because he needed someone to talk and he wasn’t there…

“We checked every place in the city, asked everybody…no one saw him.” Added Mikado.

“Gossips are staring to spread around…people noticed his disappearance.” Said Kida.

“We all know Shizuo can become completely crazy sometimes…I mean, often…” corrected Tom. “But it’s not in his habits to disappear this way without telling anyone. Even if he got mad, he would have come back to his senses now…I’m sure something happened to him.”

“I agree with you, Tom-san.” Said Kasuka.

“I called Vorona. She’s on her way. She’ll be here tomorrow.” Told Simon.

“Don’t you guys think you’re overacting for nothing?” asked Chikage. “I mean, Heiwajima-san is a big boy. I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he found a cute girlfriend and…”

“Shizuo would have never left without informing his friends, his boss or his family.” Replied Tom.

“Yeah…but considering the fact he almost got fired, got rejected by his friends and got ignored by his family, he probably needed to leave, don’t you think?”

Kasuka, Kadota and Celty looked down. Tom glared at Chikage. “That was a low card, man…you don’t help us here.”

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt you guys. But he’s just probably hurt…I’m sure he’s alright.”

“He might be alright physically but not mentally.” Told Shinra who remained quiet until now. “Shizuo is more fragile emotionally than you can imagine.”

“Shinra is right. Nii-san hates himself. He always did as far as I can recall…” added Kasuka.

“So…do you think he could…I mean…” tried to say Anri nervously.

“Kill himself?” guessed Chikage.

“Don’t think he could do that…people tried to kill him so many times using different ways and it never affected him.

“So what now?” asked Mikado.

Everybody remained silent. Shinra got up and fixed the city through the window.

“There’s only one person in the world who can find him…” he said softly.

Kida got up abruptly. “You don’t seriously think we should…”

“We shouldn’t, but we must ask Izaya. He’s the only one who can find Shizuo.”

* * *

Somewhere in a dark alley.

It started raining. It was already a cold day, but for the poor man on the floor, back crashed against the brick wall, the rain was like ice. Cold…he was so cold he could freeze. His teeth had stopped chattering. His body and soul were too exhausted to react. The voices wouldn’t stop talking to him.

**“Why did you leave this way? Do you really think they’re looking for you?”**

“Shut up…”

**“Nobody gives a shit about you. Nobody comes, see?”**

“Leave me alone…”

**“You say that but you don’t want to be alone. What if I’m leaving too? What would you do without me?”**

“It’s your fault! Everything is your fucking fault…”

**“Always need someone to blame huh?”**

“You were the one who forced me to do all those stupid things…”

**“I’ve never forced you. You did it on your own.”**

“No…”

**“It’s never your fault, ne Shizuo? Unfortunately for you, Izaya isn’t here anymore. You can’t put the blame on him now…”**

“Shut the fuck up…”

**“It was so easy to blame him for everything. But your miserable life is just the result of your actions. You got what you deserved…not his fault if you were born this way…”**

“Izaya…”

**“Do you miss him? Then, why did you hurt him so bad?”**

“It’s because of you! I…”

**“Here we go again. Why can’t you accept the facts? Take responsibility and face what you’re truly are…”**

“Don’t..d-don’t you think I haven’t tried it before? I never managed to die…”

**“You just do it wrong, as everything you do anyway.”**

“I wanna see him…”

**“After what you did to him? Such a shameless creature you are, Shizuo…”**

“Izaya…”

**“Stop acting so miserably. You’re pitiful.”**

“If he was there, I’d be happy…”

**“Happy? Are you kidding me?”**

“When he was there, I couldn’t hear your fucking voice…you never dared to pest me when he was around…”

**“Ah…that’s why you wanna see him, right? Because you need to run away again from me…but it’s impossible. You’re stuck with me and you’ll listen to my voice until your very last day. I’ll never let you go, Shizuo…”**

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!” The blond hit his head against the hard wall until he bled. Anything was good as long as he made the voice stop talking.

His mind got distracted when he saw at his feet, a pair of red heels. He also realized that the rain stopped falling on him. When he lifted his head, he could see a large black umbrella above his head, covering him.

“Aren’t you Heiwajima Shizuo?”

The blond looked at the woman. A woman with brown eyes and long brown hair pulled up into a ponytail secured with a red bow. She was wearing glasses and a yellow skirt suit over a blouse and stockings along with Mary Jane pumps. She was also carried a large shoulder bag. He recognized her face.

“I’ve seen you before…with Vorona…”

“So you remember me?”

“You were the one who hurt Celty…”

“It’s impossible to kill or to hurt a Dullahan.”

“What do you want?”

“I was just wondering why you were here, in this position…I thought you were dead.”

“Disappointed?”

“Rather curious than disappointed. People say you’re invincible.”

“Who are you anyway?”

“My name is Kasane Kujiragi.”

“Fucking great! Why should I care?”

“You asked. I just answered you, Heiwajima-san.”

Shizuo glared at her. He hated to be seen so weak. He had no strength to fight or to argue with anybody. He was feeling do down…

The woman got closer and put a knee on the wet floor. She grabbed Shizuo’s cheek and kissed him softly. The man just blinked in surprise but didn’t push her away. After few seconds, when the surprise faded away, he let himself enjoy it, closing his eyes…she broke the kiss and kept her eyes on him.

“Why…wh-why did you…”

“I wanted to know what it felt to kiss the so called monster the whole Ikebukuro named Heiwajima Shizuo.”

The blond stared at her, still on his guard, but also disoriented. He desperately needed affection but could he trust this woman? He didn’t know her. Besides, she caused troubles to Celty…and Celty was his friend.

“Would you like to let me know more about you, Heiwajima-san?”

“Why should I?”

“Because I can see you want it.” She got up and pressed her foot on his apparent erection. Shizuo flinched and involuntarily got tighter in his pants. He tried to calm down but it was impossible. Just impossible.

“I…”

“?”

“I…will hurt you. Leave as long as you can…”

She teased him a bit more rubbing her foot again. “Don’t worry for me. I can handle it. Come with me.”

Shizuo followed her obediently. He didn’t know why but he just did it anyway. The perspective to have sex with her was a reason among others. Actually, he didn’t want to be left alone. Plus, the voices seemed to have stopped…

They arrived in front of a large and modern condo. Since it was located at the end of the small street, there was no one around, no neighbors…

“Come in.”

Shizuo took off his shoes and realized he put blood on the floor. His feet were still bleeding since he hadn't treated his wounds and the broken glass was still stuck in his flesh. He just made it worse walking. She turned around when she saw he stopped moving.

“What happened to your feet?”

“I walked on broken glass…haven't treated it since then...sorry for the…”

“Don’t mind it. Come in.”

“I’ll put more blood on the floor. I shouldn’t…”

“I don’t care. The bathroom is on your left. Go take a shower to clean your wounds. There’s a first aid kit there.”

The blond nodded and reached the bathroom. He stripped completely and went to the shower to warm his cold body and to rinse the blood. He felt so dirty…

When he had done, he used some bandages on his feet and put a towel around his waist. He left the bathroom to reach the living room. The woman wasn’t there. He looked for her in the different places of the condo and finally saw her in the bedroom. She was on her back, stripping slowly. Shizuo stared at her without never breaking the eye contact. She was more than desirable…

She was perfectly aware of his presence and didn’t stop. When she got entirely naked, she turned around and faced him. She approached slowly and took off his towel, exposing his naked body.

“Lie down on the bed, on your back.” she said fixing him in the eyes.

The blond didn’t protest and obeyed again. He could hear her coming closer. He was a bit scared. He wanted to touch her but he could hurt her so easily with his stupid strength.

She went on the top of him and admired his strong body. She was running her hands along his muscular torso.

“So strong…and yet so scared…” she whispered.

He wanted to protest he wasn’t scared but his throat was dry.

“Sit and put your back against the headboard of the bed.”

Shizuo followed her instructions again as a little boy. She got closer and sat on his tights. He was about to touch her softly but she snapped his hand.

“Hands off.”

“ok…” He nodded.

She lifted her breast just in front of his lips and made him open his mouth. “Use your tongue.”

After a moment of hesitation, Shizuo opened his mouth and captured her left nipple with his teeth. Then, he licked it slowly making it harder. She didn’t make a sound, not even a moan. The man couldn’t help to wonder if he was doing it right or not since she didn’t seem to react.

“Keep doing it. It’s good.”

During this time, she was playing with his hard cock, rubbing her fingers along the large organ. Shizuo was too busy with her breast that he didn’t notice it until she grabbed it firmly and put her thumb on the top of his penis.

Shizuo tried to grab her hand but he suddenly felt his hands pinned against the headboard and pierced by several blades. He could see the blades coming from her body.

“Wh-what..are you…” he stammered, caught by the surprise; it was the first time he saw that.

“Don’t mind Saika. I know you’re immunized against her power. I just want to restrain you.”

“L-let..go..”

The blades encircled his wrists and sliced the flesh making it bleed. Despite his strength, he didn’t manage to get it away from her. A part of him was also restraining himself because he didn’t want to hurt a woman.

“Don’t worry, Heiwajima-san. I won’t kill you. It’s not like I could do it anyway. I don’t plan to hurt you either…but I’m sure your body can handle it. So just do as I say.”

“Let go!” he struggled to free himself when he felt another blade coming from the thump which was pressing on the top of his cock. He arched his back when he felt the blade pushing deeper in his urethra.

“S-St-STOP!! It..I-IT HURTS!”

“You endured worse.” The blade was now filling his entire organ. She could feel Shizuo’s whole body was trembling of fear and pain.

“A-Ah…s-stop…I..hate it…it hurts…”

She didn’t remove the blades on his urethra or around his wrist but created more. One encircled his waist and another one enrolled around his neck, squeezing his throat. She went on her feet and placed her body in front of Shizuo’s face.

“Use your tongue.”

Now his mouth was close to her pussy. He hissed in pain and gave her a last glance before obeying her. His wet tongue licked her clitoris softly. He even started to enjoy it but couldn’t forget he was still trapped in her blades…

She placed her hands on the back of his head and guided him. She seemed to enjoy his work even if she didn’t show it. The more she got pleasure, the tighter she pressed her blades around Shizuo’s flesh. The sheets started to get covered with blood…and after some long minutes, she flinched and grabbed forcibly Shizuo’s hair. The man didn’t need to see her to notice she had an orgasm. She released him and removed the blades except the one in his urethra.

“T-the..b-blade..”

“I’m not done, Heiwajima-san.” She sat again on his tights and positioned herself in front of his dripping cock.

“N-no…the blade..is still inside and…”

“It doesn’t matter for me. My blades are all over inside my skin. I don’t feel any pain…”

“Bu..but..please. Not..like this…” murmured Shizuo.

She came closer and pressed her forehead against his.

“You didn’t seriously expect normal sex with me, Heiwajima-san? We’re not normal persons after all, so we have to do it as weird as we are…”

Then, without warning, she impaled herself on Shizuo’s cock and pushed it deeper inside her. Shizuo arched his back again and shouted. The pain mixed with the hotness of her inside made him melt. When she started to move up and down, he could feel the blade moving on the same rhythm inside his urethra.

“Stop! S-stop!!”

“You don’t want to stop Heiwajima-san.”

She didn’t moan. She just kept fixing him moaning loudly and begging to stop. When he started to move his hands to touch her (or actually more to push her away), she used Saika again to block his wrist.

“S-stop…I f-feel like..i’m b-burning..insid-de…” said Shizuo with a trembling voice.

“Who knew the fortissimo of Ikebukuro could be so vulnerable?” she teased remaining emotionless.

He glared furiously at her and used his strength. Some of the blades started to crack under the pressure and she realized she shouldn’t go too far if she wanted to keep the control of the situation. She decided to remove the blades to let him come.

“I think you’re close now…I’ll let you rest. Come for me, Heiwajima-san.”

Then, after several minutes being tormenting, teasing and cutting, Shizuo got released and came. She removed herself just before to let him come. Actually, there was more blood than cum which was dripping from his hard cock. His body was shaking so hard that he collapsed on his back right away after have been freed.

She deposed a soft kiss on his sweaty forehead and caressed his hair gently. “You did good, Heiwajima-san.”


	6. The request

Izaya was back to Shinjuku. He didn’t come back to Ikebukuro since his fight with Shizuo, but he continued working. He still had contact with several people here and there, especially Shiki-san. He was still recovering from his injuries. Thanks to Kine’s help, he managed to find an underground doctor other than Shinra and took the time to heal. His body still hurt but he was getting used to.

Namie left to work for Shinra’s father; since the head had been sent to Chicago, she left for America; besides, Seiji also left to get Celty’s head with Mika, so it was another way to stay close to him, watching and stalking him as she used to do.

He was working alone. He didn’t mind. After all, he still had his beloved humans. Of course, Izaya heard about Shizuo’s disappearance. He didn’t need to wait for Shinra’s call to be aware of that. But strangely, Izaya didn’t go after him. He didn’t want to know why the blond suddenly left and what happened to him. He didn’t investigate…he kept reading topics and gossips about it, but he didn’t look for much.

One day, in the middle of the afternoon, he received a visit he expected sooner. He heard the knock at his door and went to open.

“Shinra, Celty. Long time no see. Come in.” he wasn’t surprised to see the Dullahan with his friend, but he realized they also brought someone else with them. “Oh…Hanejima-san? Such a surprise to see you here…”

“Hi Orihara-san.” Replied the man still emotionless.

Everybody went inside. Izaya sat on his couch and invited them to sit in front of him, on the other one.

“So? What do I owe this pleasant visit of yours, guys?”

Celty used her PDA and showed it to Izaya. “**_You know the reason of our presence. Don’t start playing around. We’re not in the mood for your stupid games.”_**

Izaya laughed evilly. “Ah! Ah! So straight as always my dear Celty! I thought losing your head again would have made you less “human” than you were but I was wrong…”

She let some shadows escaping from her body and enrolled it around Izaya’s throat to threaten him. It just made him smirk.

“By the way, I haven’t thanked you properly to have saved me. I managed to stay alive thanks to your shadow in my wound…”

**_“If you want to thank me, than help us to find Shizuo_**_.”_ She wrote again before showing to Izaya.

“I’m sorry but I don’t know anything about Shizu-chan’s disappearance. And for once, I’m not responsible of this.”

**_“Don’t tell us you don’t know anything about this_**!” she began to lose her temper, producing more shadows.

“Celty…” Shinra put his hand on her lap to cool her down. He turned his attention on Izaya. “What do you know about it, Izaya?”

“Nothing more than the gossips say. He seems to have disappeared abruptly in the middle of the night. I suppose he exploded again…” replied the raven, grinning.

“You haven’t tried to know more about this?” asked Shinra surprised.

“My, my! Why are you always so surprised? Didn’t you want me to leave Shizu-chan alone? And now I’m doing it, you ask me to run after him? Make up your mind, guys!” laughed again Izaya.

“Orihara-san.” Said Kasuka.

“Yes?”

“All of us know that you used to cause troubles to Nii-san…” and for the first time he let a strange expression escape from his face which caught the attention of the others, especially Izaya’s one. “And…even if it sounds surprising to say that, I’m glad you did it…”

Celty looked completely confused. **“_W-what are you saying Hanejima-san????”_**

Kasuka checked her PDA and replied calmly. “I think Orihara-san understands perfectly why I’m saying this. Am I wrong, Orihara-san?”

The raven lost his smile, caught by the surprise. But he regained his composure quickly, taking another despicable expression.

“So, if I understood correctly, you ask to your brother’s nemesis to look for him?”

“Yes. Your price will be mine.”

“What if I say no?”

“No one can force you to do it.”

Shinra looked at Izaya again. “Please Izaya. Can you do this for me? You always found me when you needed my help. Time has come to return the favor, right? Besides, Celty saved your life…”

“I always chased after Shizu-chan for my own pleasure. But sorry to be so rude, guys, there’s no interest to look for him if there’s no entertainment.”

**_“Don’t be so stupid! Just consider it as a job as another one_****!”** replied Celty writing.

“You’re not fun at all my dear Dullahan!”

** _“Shut up! Will you help us or not?”_ **

Izaya cocked his head, teasing her with his smile. “Don’t think so…”

Celty couldn’t help and got up slapping his cheek**. _“Bastard! I should have let you die this day!”_**

“You wouldn’t have done it. You’re too “human” to let someone die, even a “bastard” like me…” grinned Izaya, rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand.

** _“You called Shizuo a “monster” but you’re the real monster here…”_ **

“What about you my dear Celty? Do you think you’re better than me?”

** _“My soul isn’t as dark as yours. I might be monster physically but compared to you, I’m almost an angel.”_ **

“I was referring to your “precious friendship” with Shizu-chan…not to your Dullahan’s condition.”

** _“What?”_ **

“Where were you when he was down?”

She looked confused.

“Don’t be so surprised. You perfectly know that I’m aware of anything it could happen in this city. So tell me, where were you when he needed you?”

**“…”**

“What about you Hanejima-san?”

“…”

“You call me a “monster” but I wasn’t the one who rejected and abandoned him when he was down this time. I’ve always acted the same way with Shizu-chan.”

“You don’t need to twist the knife in the wound, Izaya…” said Shinra.

“Ah! Ah! So funny to say that my friend considering the fact it’s this way I almost died the last time I fought with Shizu-chan…”

“Orihara-san.”

Izaya stared at Kasuka again.

“I’m worried for Nii-san.”

“You have a strange way to show it, my dear.”

“I could say the same about you,” my dear”.”

Izaya lost his smile again. He could see what Kasuka implied and he wondered how he could know anything.

“You know nothing about me.” Replied the raven.

“I know more than you can imagine.”

“May I ask you how could you possibly know anything which concerning me?”

“I don’t think you want to see me say it. I just want to make you understand that I know.”

Celty interfered.** “_Sorry but I don’t understand…what do you mean?”_**

“Nothing…” started to say Kasuka.

“…which concerns you.” Finished to say Izaya fixing Kasuka.

The movie star got up and started to walk toward the exit. “I know you will end to do what is right, Orihara-san.”

“Ah? I didn’t think I became so trustable…are you becoming so desperate to find your brother?” sneered the brunette.

“Let’s say I’ve faith in you for Nii-san.”

The raven laughed again. “You’re as unpredictable as your brother my dear…but whatever you could say or pay for it, I’ve no intention to look for Shizu-chan.”

The man turned around and bowed. “Thank you.”

“What for? Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

“For receiving us.” Added Kasuka. His eyes seemed to say something else which Izaya perfectly understood.

Shinra and Celty joined him and left. In the general confusion, Shinra noticed something between Kasuka and Izaya’s exchange, then he smiled.

Celty saw him smiling and asked him the reason why he looked so happy. **_“What are you smiling at, Shinra?”_**

“I’m just relieved. It’s just a question of time until we find Shizuo…”

** _“What are you talking about? We don’t have any information about his location and this bloody bastard refuses to help us!”_ **

Shinra stopped walking, letting Kasuka heading first in the car. “Don’t you understand, Celty?”

_“**What**?”_

“Izaya. He accepted.”

** _“But…”_ **

“Didn’t you get it when Kasuka thanked him?”

** _“He just thanked him to have received us!”_ **

“No…he thanked him to have accepted.”

** _“H-how..do you know?”_ **

“I know Izaya. Kasuka is right. He will end doing what it’s right. So don’t worry. He will find him.”

* * *

The next morning, Shizuo woke up. His whole body hurt. He was surprised to see each of his wound had been treated and bandaged carefully. He looked around and saw nobody until he felt a presence behind him. The woman had red eyes and was fixing him with intensity.

“As I expected, you’re insensible to Saika’s love.”

Shizuo shrugged. “Seems like I can’t be loved by anyone…or anything.”

She approached and sat by his side touching his cheek gently. “Such a surprising man you are, Heiwajima-san…”

“…”

“So strong physically but so tormented mentally…”

The man liked the gentle touch on his skin. He was desperately looking for affection. He wasn’t sure this woman was the best one to give it to him but it didn’t matter. Anything was good at this moment...

“Why did you let me hurting you yesterday? You could have broken my blades.”

“I don’t hit women.”

“You could have stopped me without hurting me. So?”

“…” Shizuo didn’t know if he could tell her. “I hated it…but the pain helped me to escape…”

“From what?”

“From myself.”

She seemed to understand what he meant. “Saika’s voice never leaves me.”

“?”

“You’re the only one who didn’t respond to her love. She asked me a lot about you…”

For the first time, Shizuo didn’t feel alone. She was like him. “So…you do hear her voice?”

“Yes.”

“What did she ask you about me?”

“She asked why I was losing my time with you when you are incapable to respond to her love.”

“And what did you tell her?”

She looked at Shizuo’s in the eyes. There was something pure in him…something she wanted to reach.

“You’re full of emotions, Heiwajima-san: anger, fear, despair, hatred…you’re a puzzle for me.”

“I wish I would have never been like that…”

“Would you have rather been like me? Look at me: I can’t feel anything. All of those emotions you’re filled with are unknown for me. I’m jealous.”

“Feel free to take it. You have no idea how much it hurts to be seen as a monster…”

“I’m emotionless and insensible to everything. That’s why I can handle Saika. I wish to be loved like her, or to be hated like you. I would at least feel something.”

“You’re like my brother.” Chuckled Shizuo. “He never shows his emotions.”

“But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have ones, right?”

“Yes, I guess you’re right…”

“I wish to experiment what it feels. Would you teach me how to love, Heiwajima-san?”

“How could I do that? I don’t know what it is to be loved…I just know what it is to be feared.”

“But you have loved people once in your life, right?”

“Yes…” He thought about his friends, his family and…”But I ended hurting them…”

“Did you give up on them?”

“Yes I did…”

“Why? Don’t you want to be with them?”

“I do.”

“Then, why did you leave them behind you? I don’t understand.”

“When you love someone, you have to do what is right for him, whatever it costs you…even if it means you have to stay away from him…”

“I understand.”

“I say that, but it’s not what I did until now…I knew I was hurting people but I kept staying by their side selfishly.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be alone…with myself.”

“And why now?”

Shizuo kept quiet; he was thinking deeply. He smiled when he recalled some moments of his life…some moments which he would never relive again.

“I had a refuge…and I lost it.”

“A refuge…” she repeated his words trying to understand what he meant. “Do you want I become your refuge, Heiwajima-san?”

“Why would you do that?”

“To experiment all those human emotions.”

“You don’t know what it is to handle me. Believe me.”

“I had an idea yesterday.”

“What you saw yesterday was nothing…You’d regret it. Besides…”

“Besides?”

“I don’t think I’m the best person to make you feel it…and I don’t want to. I hurt too many people. I’m tired of it.”

“So what now?”

Shizuo faced her. “I want…to become like you.”

“You mean emotionless?”

“Yes! If I can’t feel anything, I can’t hurt people and maybe…”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe I would be able to control myself…” he was referring to his voices and not only his incapacity to control his strength.

She remained quiet. Shizuo was fascinating her.

“I don’t think I could do that, Heiwajima-san.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re feeling everything too intensely. I don’t think it’s possible.”

Shizuo made a pause to think. Then, he got a idea. “So…break me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re right. It’s impossible to make me stop feeling everything so suddenly. But you can break me. Rip me apart. Toy my soul, break it until there’s nothing left of me.”

“Aren’t you the strongest person of Ikebukuro? I’ve never seen someone like you before. There’s nothing which can break you, Heiwajima-san.”

“You can’t break me physically, that’s true. Otherwise, I would have done it by myself a long time ago. But you can break my soul.”

“So…you want to be hurt?”

“Yes. Hurt me. Drive me crazy. Tear me apart until I can’t feel anything anymore.”

“Are you a masochist, Heiwajima-san?”

“No. It’s just repentance for my sins.”

She put her slender hands on his face and kissed him gently before biting his bottom lip until he bled. “Then, I won’t be your refuge, Heiwajima-san but your worst nightmare.”

“Please…do it.”


	7. The search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sentences in russian are translated with Reverso so i don't know if it's really correct. Sorry if it's not good. Feel free to tell me. Thanks.

Izaya couldn’t help to be bothered by his last encounter with Shizuo’s brother, Shinra and Celty. Actually, Kasuka’s attitude particularly irritated him. The man acted as if he knew him. What did he know? Did he just have some doubts or assumptions? He hated it. He hated to be betrayed by his emotions. He was a master of manipulation. How this insignificant human could dare knowing anything about him? How did he ever manage to know anything anyway?

“Fool…you know nothing.” He cursed mentally.

He took his computer and started to search information. He cancelled all of his appointments and left his apartment. He needed to meet his contacts.

He was mainly annoyed because Kasuka was imagining he was the one who convinced him to look for Shizuo. But it was basically the truth. Not that Izaya didn’t consider looking for him immediately after have heard he disappeared, at least for his own curiosity…but he thought it wasn’t a good idea. He had to let it go. But Kasuka made him remember why he had chased him and ruined his life for so long. He couldn’t let go. He just couldn’t…

He took a taxi and met his contact in a public place. Since the last time he had been stabbed, he refused to meet his contact alone. He needed the crown around him to be sure to be rescued in the case of things would turn bad…which was more than probable with his vile personality.

He arrived half an hour later and came in the café. He recognized his contact in a corner of the large room.

“Egor-san.”

“Orihara-san.”

“So? What do you have for me?”

“A name.”

He held him a piece of paper. Izaya didn’t read it and just put the paper in his pocket.

“By the way, do you know Vorona came back to Japan?”

“Yes. I haven’t seen her yet.”

“I suppose Slon stayed in Russia?”

“You suppose correctly. Vorona came back for personal reasons so she didn’t want to let Slon interfering.”

“hmmm…such loyal friend for Shizu-chan. I better watch my back to avoid any of her knives…” sneered Izaya.

“She’s not after you, Orihara-san. She just wants to be sure Heiwajima-san is safe. But if you get in her way, she wouldn’t hesitate.”

Izaya laughed again. “Worried for me, Egor-san?”

“Just a warning. не распутывайте с русскими.” (don’t mess up with Russians)

“Русские или джапанцы. Все вы просто люди в конце концов.” (Russians or japaneses. All of you are just humans after all)

Then, Izaya got up and left. He walked few steps and finally looked at the name Egor gave to him. He didn’t seem to be surprised.

“Interesting…”

* * *

During this time, Shizuo was still with Kasane. Days passed and she continued almost every night to “torture” him. He was becoming slowly her slave without never protesting, always obeying. He thought he deserved every pain she gave to him. But strangely, the pain turned often into pleasure, which caused guiltiness to Shizuo. He wasn’t supposed to enjoy it, but the last days he passed with Kasane gave some rest to his mind. Pleasure or pain, he was too occupied to focus on the voices in his head…

Every time she had finished having sex with him, she took the time to treat his wounds carefully. Her gestures were always gentle, not that she wanted to be nice but most because she was used to do it this way and she didn’t know how to do it differently.

“Does it hurt, Heiwajima-san?” she asked, putting a new bandage around his wrist.

“Not really. I told you to call me Shizuo.”

“Disrespectful.”

“Aren’t you supposed to break me? You intend to do it respecting me?”

“I broke you. Don’t you remember yesterday?”

“…”

_Previous night._

_“l-let..go..” whispered Shizuo between groans. The blades were squeezing his arms, wrists and his throat tightly. _

_Kasane continued to move her body up and down forcibly, impaled on his hard cock. _

_“c-ca-n’t br-reath..”_

_“So? Bear with it.”_

_He tried to find the strength to release himself. But each time he tried, she squeezed the blades harder around his flesh. When, she realized he was about to free himself, she stopped and moved away to grab his cock and pushed as always a blade in his urethra. He pumped his organ roughly making the blade hurting him inside with each stroke._

_“S-STOP! I..CAN’T!!”_

_“Have you ever listened to the pleas of the people who beat before, Heiwajima-san?”_

_The physical torture wasn’t enough. She had to drag him down mentally. _

_“Does it hurt? Remember the pain you gave to the people you loved, to the innocent ones they just had just the unhappiness to be on your road, at the wrong place, at the wrong time…”_

_“Ah..”_

_She wanted to push him even further. “Remember when you wanted to throw the fridge over your young brother?” Then, she pushed a whole finger inside the urethra with still the blade inside._

_“ARG!!” Shizuo cried in pain. _

_“What was the reason for that already?”_

_“Ah..S-stop…”_

_“Tell me Heiwajima-san.”_

_“N-no..”_

_“Tell me or I’ll hurt you more.”_

_Shizuo swallowed his pain, determined to not say it._

_“As you wish.” She didn’t remove her finer but she used her other hands to pierces his balls with other blades. _

_“Arg!! Stop! STOP!!”_

_“Then, tell me.”_

_The blades were twisting and twisting again, making the wound getting bigger. _

_“s-st-tole…”_

_“What?”_

_“S-stole..m-my..pudd-ding..”_

_“So you were ready to hurt your younger brother just because he stole your pudding?”_

_“Ah..pl..please..stop..”_

_“Have you ever thought about the consequences of your acts?”_

_“i..i didn’t..d-do..it…”_

_“Yes because the pain stopped you. Imagine what would have happened if you had done it…”_

_“N-no..”_

_“The fridge would have crashed against his small body…” She moved her finger in and out making him cry harder._

_“ARG! S-STOP!!”_

_“His bones would have cracked under the weight…”_

_He was shaking his head heavily to erase this picture in his head. _

_“His neck would have snapped because of the sudden hit…”_

_“Shut..u-up..”_

_“He would have lost blood…a lot of blood, and you wouldn’t have been able to do anything because you two were alone at home at this time…”_

_“No…s-stop…”_

_“You would have called the emergencies but it would have been too late…”_

_Shizuo could picture this scene in his mind. _

_“Then, your mother and father would have come back to home and would have found your brother dead…and the next days, you would have buried him…”_

_Tears started to pour along Shizuo’s cheeks. _

_“Just for a pudding, you were ready to kill your little precious brother…”_

_“I’m..sor-ry..Kasuka..” cried Shizuo harder. “Kas-suka…” he couldn’t stop crying; the mental picture was the worse. _

_He reached his breaking point, so she stopped teasing him. She removed all of her blades and let him rest. He pressed his face against the soft pillow, crying, thinking about his brother, thinking about the way he could have hurt him…he was so ashamed. He didn’t deserve to leave as a human being._

Remembering the last night made him ashamed. He had never cried in front of anybody in the past. She pushed him far enough to make him break mentally and he knew she would do it again.

“You were the one who asked me to break you, didn’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“So I don’t need to disrespect you in addition of that.” She got up and put the first aid kit in the same place in the bathroom

“Did you like it?”

“What? Torturing you?”

“Did you?”

“I don’t know what it is to like or dislike something, Heiwajima-san.”

“Tch…of course.”

* * *

Izaya was walking in the streets. He was thinking and thinking again.

“What happened to you, Shizu-chan?” he was asking to himself. He knew everything about his quarrel Kadota, Celty’s reproaches, his tensions in his work, the accident he had provoked, his brother avoiding him…there was not a single thing which could escape from the informant broker, especially when it concerned his precious and favorite “beast”.

He recalled his scholarship at Raira.

_One day, at the end of the morning. _

_Izaya was hanging around in the corridor. He had skipped class and searching for some entertainment when he noticed the school nurse running in the corridor. He hid. _

_“Teshima-san! Hurry!” called a student._

_“What happened again?”_

_“Heiwajima is fighting again.”_

_“Damn!”_

_He let them pass and followed them discreetly. He could see through the widow Shizuo fighting with the whole team of baseball. He couldn’t help to laugh. _

_“HEIWAJIMA! IN MY OFFICE! NOW!” yelled the director. _

_Shizuo cooled down and obeyed. He followed him and passed through the people who were whispering. _

_“What happened again?” asked the director._

_“They insulted me. I just defended myself.”_

_“You just defended yourself? You mean you overreacted AGAIN, right?” he sighted. “How many students did you hurt this time? Ten? Twenty?”_

_Shizuo could feel his anger raising but he had to remain calm or he would have other troubles. _

_“That’s it! I’m calling your parents.”_

_Izaya who had heard everything saw the way Shizuo felt ashamed. He knew he would embarrass his family and it wouldn’t be the first time. But he wanted to know more about what happened. Once, he wasn’t responsible for this. So he investigated. _

_A girl was putting her shoes down when she noticed someone standing in front of her. _

_“Where are you going like that, sweetheart?” _

_“Orihara? What do you want?” She got up and pushed him away. “Don’t waste your time, you’re absolutely not my type.”_

_He grabbed her arm to stop her. “You neither, my beloved. But I wondered something…weren’t you talking to Shizu-chan before he became crazy?”_

_She tensed. “So?”_

_“What were you saying to him?”_

_“It doesn’t concern you!”_

_“Well, well…I don’t think it was a coincidence, right?”_

_“Wh-what do you mean?”_

_“Didn’t you drag him there on purpose?”_

_“What? You think I tricked him? Why should I have done that?”_

_“Suzuki-kun is your big brother, right? I asked you this because I saw he was the one who attacked Shizu-chan with his friends few minutes later after your little talk…”_

_She moved back. “I…I’ve nothing to do with it…”_

_“You tricked him. How did you manage to do it?” he looked for something in his pocket and showed her a little letter. “How yeah…the good old trick of the love letter…”_

_“How did you…”_

_“Poor Shizu-chan! You played with his little heart to drag him in your brother’s prank…so mean.” He sneered at her. _

_“You…” She rushed to him. “Son of bitch!”_

_“You’re the bitch here!” he laughed, grabbing her hand just before she could slap his face. _

_“You hate him! Why do you care anyway?”_

_He dragged her closer, so close that he could almost kiss her. “No one is allowed to play with my toy. Shizu-chan is my favorite one.”_

_She was frozen just seeing his smirk. His eyes seemed to be redder than usual._

_“Do not ever play with my toy again. Shizu-chan is mine, so don’t ruin my fun with him.”_

Back to the present, Izaya was fixing the city on the rooftop of a random building. He could feel the fresh air caressing his flesh…

“Shizu-cha may be a solid toy but he’s not unbreakable…”


	8. The interest

Three days later.

Shizuo was paler weaker each passing day. No physical or mental rest. It was as if time had stopped. He couldn’t remember what day or what time it was. He woke up with the light of the day and went to the bathroom. Every part of his body hurt, and it was harder when he needed to use the toilets. He hissed in pain each time he had to urinate. The shower was another story. The soap on his flesh reopened each wound and he needed to do the bandages again day after day. Most of the time, he stayed with his boxer. But Kasane finally brought him some clothes.

When he finished to dress, he joined her in the kitchen. She was preparing the breakfast. He sat around the table and waited for in silence. When she had done, she deposed a plate with some rice, vegetable and fish in front of him. She also prepared a tea and a glass of milk.

“Eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“It wasn’t a request, Heiwajima-san.”

He obeyed and started to eat. She sat in front of him and did the same thing.

“Do the clothes fit you?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Have you planned to leave this morning too?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I need a dyed hair color. My hair starts to get brown again.”

“Why do you want to be blond?”

He recalled what Tom had said to him when he had advised him to dye his hair. “It was a way to be recognized. At the moment I started to dye my hair, people stopped mess up with me…”

“Then, you don’t need to be blond anymore, right?”

“I guess not…”

“Do you need anything else?”

“No.”

“Then, be ready at the end of the afternoon. We’re leaving tonight.”

“Where are we going?”

“You don’t need to know. Just have some rest and be ready when I’ll be back.”

“Ok.”

They finished their breakfast in silence. Kasane left few minutes later without adding another word. Shizuo went back to the bedroom and tried to sleep. He could recall their previous session last night.

_“So, does it still hurt, Heiwajima-san?” she asked rubbing his cock. _

_“Make a guess, stupid bitch!” he spat at her. _

_She had stopped hurting his testicles and penis with her blades but she was still restraining his arms and wrists. _

_“Don’t you think compared to the pain you gave to your friends, this is the less you can endure?”_

_“…”_

_She was still taking the opportunity to satisfy herself during their session, making him fucking her or licking her breast or pussy. She found it pretty entertaining since Shizuo was pretty good at this. But tonight, she just wanted to torment him, not to use him for her own pleasure. _

_“What do you like in the Dullahan?”_

_“Why do you ask?”_

_“I wonder how you ended becoming friend with her. So?”_

_“She’s kind…and she’s always there for the ones she treasures…”_

_“It doesn’t seem to be mutual for you or your friends considering what you have done to her…”_

_“You..shut up…ARG!!” he hissed when he felt the blade squeezing his throat and piercing his stomach. _

_“Heiwajima-san is so selfish…” she released the pressure on his right wrist. “You have to be punished for this. Do it.”_

_“Wh..what?”_

_“Make yourself come.”_

_Shizuo didn’t want to masturbate. His cock still hurt and he knew it would be painful to come this way. Besides, he didn’t have the same strength as Kasane. He would hurt himself more and she was perfectly aware of that._

_“You want to see me hurting myself, right?”_

_“Yes. Stroke your cock as hard and fast as you can.”_

_He obeyed again. But he felt her hand lifting his head by the hair. “Don’t look down and keep your eyes on me. I want to see your expression while you masturbate.”_

_“You..pervert!”_

_“And you’re a masochist. Now, do it.”_

_He followed her instructions and started to stroke himself. Of course he tried to not squeeze it too hard but she noticed and pressed the other blades around his flesh tighter. _

_“Harder and faster. It’s not supposed to feel good.”_

_The blond did it and the pain became unbearable. But it wasn’t enough to break him yet. She kept fixing him in the eyes. _

_“Wasn’t she the one who saved you from Orihara-san?”_

_“Y-You…were there..you s-saw…”_

_“So, couldn’t you be grateful to her? Is that this way you chose to thank her? Helping her boyfriend cutting her head again?”_

_“urgh…B-bitch!”_

_“Poor creature…being headless. Being incapable to speak properly and always using her PDA…being seen as a monster…”_

_“Sh-she..”_

_“She?”_

_“She’s..more human..than you woul-ld never been…she doesn’t n-need to have a head..to feel…”_

_“Yeah…it makes impossible for you to see the painful expression on her face when she realized you had betrayed her.”_

_“..urg…”_

_“Tell me…what did you ever do for her?”_

_“…”_

_“You told me she rescued you more than once. She even stopped you when you fought against Orihara-san more than once…but when I trapped her shadow with my blade, what did you do to help her?”_

_“S..stop…”_

_“You just turned your back on her and you joined Orihara-san.”_

_“Ah..ah..”_

_“You could have stopped me. I’m not that strong. But you didn’t.”_

_He felt the tears coming to his eyes. She was right. He had done nothing to rescue Celty. _

_“You just ignored her and let her struggling between my blades...and then, she saved you from Orihara-san. Do you really think you deserved it?”_

_“N-no..”_

_“Then, make yourself bleed. Hurt yourself as you hurt her betraying and abandoning her.”_

_Shizuo felt the guiltiness breaking him and squeezed his hard cock almost tearing it apart until he finally came. He collapsed and sobbed right away face against the sheets._

_“C-Celty…forg-give..me…”_

* * *

Kasane arrived in time at her “work”. Her boss and his subordinates were already waiting for her.

“Kujiragi-san.”

She bowed to salute her boss and approached.

“I suppose you’ve heard about the last news, right?”

“I’m sorry Sir but I didn’t have the time to stay informed about the current events.”

The man frowned. “Really? What were you doing to be so busy?”

“Studying.”

“Studying what?”

“Human nature.”

He laughed at her. “What it exactly means?”

“Nothing really important for you. it has nothing to do with the organization.”

“Are you sure about this?”

She stayed calm but she noticed it wasn’t a question but most a rhetorical one.

“Orihara Izaya started to investigate about Heiwajima Shizuo’s disappearance.” He kept his eyes on her. “Would you mind to tell us the reason why you seem to be implicated in this mess?”

“Don’t you think Heiwajima Shizuo could be a good asset for the organization if we managed to control him?”

It picked his interest. “Heiwajima is out of control. I thought you saw it by yourself, didn’t you?”

“I can make him obedient.”

“And how do you intend to do that?”

“I need time…and one of your men.”

He frowned. “Which one?”

“Kane.”

“Why him?”

“You will know soon. At the time I would end with Heiwajima-san, he will be yours and you will be able to use him the way you want.”

“And why do you think I could be interested to have someone like him in my group?”

“Because with him, you’ll become invincible. No one would be able to oppose to you anymore.”

The man took the time to consider things. She had good points.

“Orihara knows about you. He’s coming after you.”

“I know. That’s why I’ll move tonight.”

“Then, don’t waste more time. Take Kane with you.”

“Yes Sir.”


	9. The explanation

Kasuka went back to his home. He had a long day and he was relieved to be back to have some rest. His girlfriend, moved to live with him. Now, Ruri was always by his side, working and living with her. This way, he could protect her from herself and from everybody.

“I’m home.”

“Welcome back.” he turned around when he didn’t recognize Ruri’s voice. Izaya was sitting in his couch, legs crossed, with an amused expression on his face.

“Where’s Ruri?”

“At Shinra and Celty’s home. I needed to talk with you so I managed to convince her to leave us alone.”

“How did you manage to make her leave? She doesn’t trust you.”

Izaya smiled. “oh…so mean. Do you think I hurt her or something? I promise I haven’t touched even a hair of her!”

“So what did you say to her to make her leave?”

“Oh! I just sent her message with your phone asking her to join you at Shinra’s place.”

“I see.” He approached and sat in front of him. “So? I suppose if you’re here that you know where Nii-san is right?”

“Yeah. I kinda figure out.”

“Did you see him?”

“No. I know where he is but I didn’t go.”

“Why?”

Izaya fixed him intensely. “I knew since the beginning your dear brother disappeared; why don’t you think I’ve done nothing to look for him before? Do you really think I’ve been waiting for your request?”

“…”

“I’ve done it for ten years…I’ve done what you had to do in the first place.”

“I know and I’m thankful to you.”

“Keep your fucking gratifications for yourself. I haven’t done it for you. I just wondered how you figured my reasons.”

“Is it why you’re here? To know how I discovered your motives to mess up with Nii-san?”

“Kind of…I wondered why you did it for a complete stranger as Ruri Hijiribe when you were incapable to do it for your own brother.”

Those words hit the brunette hard even if he tried desperately to hide it.

“The real question is why did you suddenly decide to stop, Orihahra-san?”

“I owe you no explanation. It’s between your brother and me.”

“You tried to kill my brother. Yes you owe explanations.”

Izaya was playing with his rings to distract himself. “Yeah…I suppose I lost control of the situation…”

“Is that so? You lost control?”

“As I told you, I owe you nothing.”

“Then, why are you here?”

“To tell you where he is. And to put an end on this.”

“Orihara-san…”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t try to know where he was when I discovered he disappeared. I decided it was over…and you came after me, just to make me remember why I did it during all these years. You’re…despicable.”

“My apologies.”

“Go fuck yourself and don’t ever talk to me again.”

He got up and deposed a little piece of paper on the table. “This is where you’ll find him. Hurry up before they take him away.”

“Orihara-san.”

But Izaya didn’t stop walking and headed to the door. Kasuka went after him and blocked the door with his hand, stopping him.

“Move aside.”

“You’re right. I’m despicable.”

Izaya didn’t move and let him finish.

“But you were the only one who could have done this.”

“You didn’t even try.”

“Yes. That’s right. But it had to be you.”

“Is it just a way to convince yourself that you haven’t abandoned your brother?”

“Not entirely.”

Izaya began to have enough. He wanted to end this quickly. “Which means??”

Kasuka moved away and faced him. “Because Nii-san chose you.”

The raven didn’t seem to be convinced but he said nothing.

“I can prove it.”

“Then, prove it.”

Kasuka left to reach his bedroom and went back, before holding something to Izaya. The raven grabbed it and took several minutes to observe what the man just gave him. A little notebook.

“What is it?”

“Nii-san used to write his thoughts when he felt really bad. It didn’t happen often…but when he was done, he ripped what he wrote to be sure no one would read it and he threw it in the garbage; I always went after him to collect the pieces of paper…and I kept it.”

“…”

“Just read it. You’ll understand.”

Izaya didn’t do it. He kept his eyes on Kasuka. He had no intention to read now in front of him.

“I’m asking you to come with us please.”

“…”

“I’m perfectly aware about what I’m asking you and be assured that I’m sorry to impose you this. But I need you. Please. I’ll do anything you want.”

“You have nothing which could interest me.”

“Will you help us?”

After a moment of hesitation, Izaya turned around. “You should hurry before they take him away.” Then, he slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Ruri was at Shinra and Celty’s place.

“I should go back to home.”

“I’m sure Kasuka is alright, don’t worry.” Replied Shinra.

“But he told me in his message he was already there…I don’t like this.”

Shinra smiled. “That means someone probably used his phone to send this message to you.”

“But why? And who would do that?”

“Someone who wanted to have a private talk with Kasuka.”

Celty tapped on her PDA. “**_Do you think Izaya…”_**

“Who else?” guessed Shinra. “I don’t see anyone else who could have done that.”

** _“But…we should go to be sure he didn’t…”_ **

“Don’t worry for him, Celty. I don’t think Izaya planned to hurt him. He just probably wanted to clear some misunderstandings.”

** _“Now you mention it, their discussion was pretty weird last time. Do they know each other? I mean did they ever meet in other circumstances?_ **

“Dunno…” shrugged the doctor.

He was about to add something when he received a call.

“Hello?”

_“Kishitani-san? Is Ruri with you?”_

“Oh Kasuka! Yes. Ruri is here. Is there something wrong?”

_“Good. I’m on my way to reach your place. Call everybody and tell them to go to the east of the city, near of Nagashio Hospital. I’ll give you the exact location later.”_

“But why…”

_“This is where Nii-san is.”_

* * *

At the end of the day, Kasane went back to home. Shizuo was waiting for her when he saw she wasn’t alone. A tall and strong man was with her.

“Are you ready to leave, Heiwajima-san?”

He looked at the man who remained silent. “Who is he?”

“He’s name is Kane. You don’t have to know more about him.”

“Why is he here?”

“I’ll need his help soon. Now, let’s go. We’re going to have some visitors.”

“Visitors?”

But Shizuo didn’t have time to finish his sentence that Kane used a gun and shot him in the stomach. The blond blinked, holding his wound and glared at him.

“Son of..BITCH! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD!!” he rushed, raising his fist in the air, ready to beat him when he felt his strength leaving him so suddenly and fell on his knees.

“Wh..what the…”

Kasane approached. “My apologies Heiwajima-san but I wasn’t sure you would have kept our deal knowing some people would have come to pick you.”

“wh..” but he collapsed right away, face against the floor.

“Put him in the car.”

“Yes.” Nodded the man. He grabbed Shizuo’s body and put him on his shoulder.

They were about to come inside the car when it exploded abruptly. The both of them moved away, avoiding the explosion, protecting themselves with their arms.

“May I ask you where are you leaving, my dears?” asked a voice coming from the roof.

“Orihara Izaya.” Said Kasane.

“Nice to see you again Kujiragi-san.”

“I underestimated you again. I didn’t know you would have found us so fast.”

“That’s my specialty! I’m unpredictable.”

“Yes…as your lovely “beast” here.” She said touching Shizuo’s hair.

He glared at her keeping his grinning smile. “Then, you should know it’s bad to touch other’s property.”

“But Heiwajima-san ceased to be yours, didn’t he?”

“Who said that?”

“He told me he lost his “refuge”, so I thought he no longer belonged to you.”

“You were wrong. I’m the only who can decide when he would cease to be mine.”

“Such an awful brat you are, Orihara-san.”

“Ah! Ah! You’re right! Now…gimme back what it’s mine.”

She challenged him. “Come and get him.”

“With pleasure.”

He jumped from the roof and started to fight her. He used his knives but since she had Saika, she could defend herself pretty well. Kane took the opportunity they were busy to run with Shizuo on his shoulder, when Izaya threw a knife in his direction, stopping him right away.

“Where do you think you’re going like that?”

The man stopped and faced them. But they got distracted by the noise of a car coming fast, and horses’ roars.

“And the cavalry comes at the perfect timing!”

Kasane didn’t seem to be surprised and remained emotionless. Kane kept his calm without letting Shizuo go.

Celty, Kadota and his group, Tom, Simon, Vorona, Kasuka, Mikado, Kida, Anri and Chikage were there, facing the two kidnapers.

Vorona was the first to approach and aimed them with her gun. “Release Shizuo-sempai.”

Kasane didn’t move and faced her. “I don’t think so.” Then, in a single movement, she deployed Saika from her body and encircled everyone.

“Everybody on the floor!” Yelled Anri. She knew more than anyone what sort of effect Saika could have had on people.

The group managed to avoid the blades; Actually, Kasane didn’t want to make other Saika’s adepts. It was just a way to give them the opportunity to run away. Anri rushed to them and began to fight with Kasane, when Izaya attacked Kane. He was determined to get Shizuo back. He had taken the advantage on Kane who fell on the ground and was about to give him a fatal blow, when he got shot in the back by Vorona. He fell on his stomach, wincing in pain.

“Vorona! You shot Izaya!”

“My mistake.” She said calmly. She aimed Kane this time, but Kasane used Saika to put her gun away.

Then, Kane used a blinding grenade which stopped everybody in the middle of the action. It gave to Kasane and Kane the opportunity to leave with Shizuo quickly. By the time, all them took to get their vision back, they were already far away.

“Celty! Go after them!” said Kadota. “We’ll take care of Izaya.”

She nodded and chased after them.

Kadota and his group went to help Izaya who was still conscious. Vorona stayed on her feet, fixing the informant broker emotionless. Simon came closer.

“Это не было ошибкой, было ли это?” (it wasn’t a mistake, right?)

“Я не знаю, что вы имеете в виду.” (I don’t know what you mean.)

Izaya turned his head lightly to meet her gaze. He knew she shot him on purpose and thanks to her, Shizuo was now between their hands again.

“коварные…” said Izaya glaring at her. (traitor…)


	10. Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A last update for tonight. See you guys!
> 
> ps:  
The last sentence Shinra said is actually from the light novel...

“How is he?”

“I removed the bullet from his back, but he’s severely injured. He’s unconscious.” Replied Shinra to Kadota.

Everybody went to Shinra and Celty’s place. Despite her efforts, Celty didn’t manage to find Kasane and Kane. She looked for them during almost two hours but she gave up. She went back to her place to get some news about Izaya. The raven had collapsed few minutes later after have been shot in the back by “accident” by Vorona.

Everybody was waiting in the living room. All of them were worried for Izaya but also about Shizuo. Now Izaya was unconscious, it would be harder to find the blond. 

Shinra joined the group, wiping his hands covered of blood.

“All we have to do now is to wait.”

“Can he die from this?” asked Saki, worried.

“Yes, but knowing Izaya, I’m sure he will wake up…but who knows when.” Replied Shinra.

Simon got up and moved closer to Vorona who stayed silent. He faced her and he suddenly slapped her. She got surprised by his reaction and fell on the floor, holding her red cheek. Everybody froze.

“S-Simon?” asked Tom, who came closer to Vorona to help her.

“…”

“What’s wrong with you, man? It’s bad to hit a woman, you know?” said Chikage.

“She deserved it.” replied the tall man.

“Don’t blame her, Simon. She…” but Simon cut Tom in the middle of this sentence.

“She shot Izaya on purpose.”

The group blinked. “What??”

Tom fixed her, shocked. “Is…that true?”

Vorona moved away from him to get up. She faced Simon and then she turned her attention on Tom. “I don’t regret it.”

“But why did you do that? We were almost done freeing Shizuo!!”

“We’ll find Shizuo-sempai in time. I didn’t want to miss my chance with Orihara-san again.”

Kasuka who was usually quiet and calm glared at her. “Do you realize that it was our only chance to get Nii-san back? How do you intend to find him now Orihara-san is unconscious?”

“…” she kept quiet but didn’t look down. As she said, she had no regret. She hated Izaya.

Someone knocked at the door. Shinra left the living room to open.

“Oh! Egor-san!”

“Kishitani-san.”

“I’m surprised to see but come in.”

“My apologizes for the sudden visit.” He came in and joined everybody.

Vorona looked at him and seemed to understand immediately the reason of his presence.

“что вы здесь делаете?” (what are you doing here?) she asked to Egor.

“я приехал для вас. Вы приходите со мной” (I came for you; you’re coming with me.) replied Egor calmly.

Simon moved behind her. “я позвонил ему. ты возвращаешься в Россию” (I called him. You’re going back to Russia)

“когда-либо!” (never!) she protested.

Simon hit her neck with his strong hand to knock her down. “ваше присутствие только вызвало у нас проблемы.” (Your presence only caused troubles to us). He took her unconscious body before she hit the floor and nodded to Egor who approached and put her on his shoulder.

The other man left bowing to everybody in silence and reached the car parked outside.

Simon shook his head sadly. “Vorona didn’t help. No good to keep her here.”

“You’re right, Simon. Now, we have to go back to our researches.” Said Shinra.

Chikage looked confused. “ I might repeat myself but isn’t Heiwajima Shizuo the strongest man of Ikebukuro? I don’t understand how he got captured by those people, but don’t you think he could handle it alone? The lady was sure cute but pretty scary…and the other man didn’t seem to be as strong as Heiwajima-san…”

“But why…did Kujiragi-san kidnap Heiwajima-san? It doesn’t make any sense…” wondered Anri. “Is it because he’s insensitive to Saika?”

“In other circumstances, I wouldn’t worry for my brother…but Nii-san wasn’t in the best state of mind lately so I fear the worst. I don’t know this lady but Ruri told me she was pretty strong…and scaring.” Replied Kasuka.

“But as long as Izaya is unconscious, we’re fucked. We don’t have his contacts…” said Kadota.

Celty wrote something and showed her PDA. **_“Let’s keep searching him. Now we know with who Shizuo is, we know where to start.”_**

“Yes, you’re right, Celty. Let’s go!”

* * *

Shizuo woke up in a bright room. He didn’t know where he was. The light was almost blinding and he took some minutes to collect his thoughts. He looked around but didn’t recognize the place. He just remembered the last night.

“Yeah..this son of bitch shot me in the stomach and…I fainted.” 

He stretched his arms and could feel some of his wounds opening again. He got up slowly and walked to the door. When he arrived in the other room, he could see Kasane working on her computer, sitting at her desk. She lifted her head when she heard noises.

“Heiwajima-san. You’re awake.”

“Where are we?”

“We moved last night.”

“Answer me.”

She closed her computer screen and got up. “You don’t need to know where we are. Besides, I don’t think it matters to you.”

She went to the kitchen and prepared tea and some toasts. She also took her cell phone and seemed to send a message. Shizuo joined her.

“Who was this bastard?”

“…”

“Why did you bring him there?”

“I needed his help to make you move out.”

“You didn’t. I would have followed you without protesting.”

“Yes. In other circumstances, yes you would.”

“What does it mean?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She could see Shizuo was exasperated by her lack of answers.

The main door opened and shut quickly. Someone just came in. Shizuo turned around and recognized the same man he had seen yesterday. A tall and strong guy with brown eyes and short brown hair. He was wearing a pair of black pants and a white shirt with a black tie. He was staring at Shizuo with a sadistic smile.

“you…” Shizuo rushed to him, fist raised and ready to punch him when Saika’s blades restrained him. He struggled but didn’t manage to free himself.

“I present you Kane Omijira. For now on, he’ll stay with us.”

“A-are you…k-kidding me?” groaned Shizuo.

Kane approached. He moved so close to Shizuo’s face that he could almost kiss him. He caressed his cheek, then let his hand tracing the curves of Shizuo’s body until he reached his crotch and squeezed him hard making the blond hissing.

“Kane is the next part of the process to break you, Heiwajima-san. You should start getting along with him.”

Shizuo just began to realize what it meant. He hated this man at the second he saw him…he knew the nightmare would start soon and he could guess by the sadistic expression on his face that the bastard would take pleasure to torture him.

“Remember you were the one who asked me to break you, Heiwajima-san.” Repeated Kasane.

Kane grabbed Shizuo by the throat. He was taller than him. But without Kasane he wouldn’t have any chance against him. But his strength was enough big to hurt Shizuo pretty bad. He had practically the same body as Simon, which explained why Kasane chose him.

“I-I’ll…kill…you blood-dy bastard!!” roared Shizuo in vain.

The man never released his grip around his throat and pinned him against the wall. Kasane was still holding Shizuo’s hands and arms with her blades and forced to pull it behind his back. Kane got closer, pressing his whole body against the blond’s one. Shizuo started to shake. He was feeling anger but also fear just by looking at the man or feeling their bodies pressed.

“Why are you so scared Heiwajima-san?”

“L-let…go…it..wasn’t..our deal…” said Shizuo trembling.

“The deal was to break you. I’m free to use all the ways I want to do it.”

“I..don’t..want..him..make him..go..”

“What do you have against Kane?”

“..l-let me..go..”

The man sneered at him and in a sudden moved, he tore apart his shirt, exposing Shizuo’s mutilated torso.

“LET GO!!” shouted Shizuo panicked.

But the man didn’t touch him immediately. He enjoyed the view : the Ikebukuro’s monster terrorized. After five minutes of staring, he put gently his hand on Shizuo’s heart. He could feel it beating fast. Then, he pulled his hair down and forced the blond’s gaze.

“Have you ever done it with a man, Heiwajima-san?”

Shizuo kept quiet. He tried to control his fear, clenching his fists, but he was betrayed by his body language.

Kane ran his hand on his torso to reach his throat again.

“Remember when you saw him for the first time?” asked Kasane.

The question made him ever more confused he was already. Of course he knew who she was referring to.

“His slender body, his pale skin…you found him so beautiful…”

“Sh-hut up…”

Kane reached his lips and forced him to open his mouth. He was playing with his fingers, pushing it in and out.

“I’m sure you imagined him more than once doing that to you, right, Heiwajima-san?”

“H..hmm..”

“His hands touching gently your body…his mouth kissing you everywhere…”

It was exactly what Kane was doing, kissing his cheeks, touching his torso, breathing in his neck…

“His tongue licking your flesh…”

Shizuo started to cry. He could feel the tears rolling along his cheeks. Kane who was licking his earlobe gently left it to taste his salty tears.

“His voice whispering words…whispering your name…”

“S-st..top..please…” begged Shizuo.

“You always refused to give yourself to a man…because you thought it had to be him, right?”

Shizuo shook his head. He tried again to free himself but he was feeling weaker each time he was listening to her voice.

“He won’t be yours, Heiwajima-san. Give it up.”

“N-no..”

“We’ll take your body. We’ll take your soul. You don’t belong to him. You never did.”

Kane pulled his hair with force again and made him face him. He moved his mouth, ready to kiss him.

“Say his name.”

“n-n..no…”

“Say it, Heiwajima-san. Say the name of the man you want so bad… and you will never get.”

“I..”

“Yes. Say it..”

“I..Iz-zaya..” finally said Shizuo, with more tears.

Then Kane crashed his lips forcibly on Shizuo’s ones. The rough kiss made him nauseous, especially when he felt the other man’s tongue exploring his mouth. He wanted to bite him, to rip his tongue with his teeth…but he had no strength to do that. He began to suffocate. Kane finally broke the kiss and released him. Kasane did the same with her blades and they let Shizuo falling on his knees, exhausted.

“We’ll impregnate each part of the body you kept for this man, Heiwajima-san. You belong to us now.”

* * *

Kasuka went back to Shinra and Celty’s place the next days. Izaya was still recovering from his injuries. The researches were on going, but Shizuo’s brother was waiting for Izaya’ wake up. He had taken a break in his career with Ruri and passed most of his time there. 

**_“Kasuka-kun? Would you like some tea?”_** proposed Celty showing her PDA.

“Yes. Thank you, Celty-san.”

** _“You’re welcome.” _ **

Ruri was playing with her little cat in the living room. Kasuka looked at her still emotionless, but Celty could guess he was actually feeling something.

Shinra joined them. “Oh Celty! You made some tea? What a good idea! Such a perfect wi..”

But he couldn’t finish his sentence that Celty sealed his moth with her shadow. Ruri joined them in the kitchen. Celty released Shinra and held a cup of tea to Kasuka.

“Thank you.”

Celty sat by Shinra’s side. She was playing with her fingers nervously. Kasuka guessed she wanted to ask something.

“Is there anything you want to ask me, Celty-san?”

She nodded. She wrote on her PDA again. “**_Yes. Hum…I’m so confused so I don’t know how to ask you but…what sorts of relationships do you have with Izaya?”_**

He drank his tea before putting the cup on the table. He kept his eyes down. “If you wonder why I keep coming here to check Orihara-san’s condition, it’s just because I know he’s the one who can find my brother.”

** _“I figured out…but it’s not just that. I mean, the last time, when we met him, you seem to know more about him…”_ **

“I don’t personally know Orihara-san. But I’ve learned about him observing him and his relationship with Nii-san…”

** _“I don’t understand…Tell me.”_ **

Kasuka kept his eyes on his tea. It was easier to deal with people’s gazes on him. “Nii-san always hated himself as far as I can recall…” He took the time to remember their childhood. “I think it began the day he became crazy because I stole his pudding. I suppose he told you he grabbed the fridge and wanted to throw it over me, right?”

Shinra laughed. “Yeah! I visited him with you the next day at the hospital; you were lucky his bones cracked or you would have been severely hurt!”

“It was the first time and the only one Nii-san raised his hand on me. After that, he kept his distance with me. I suppose he realized aftermath what he did and he felt guilty for that. I’ve never been angry against him for that incident because…even if I’ve been scared, Nii-san blamed himself for this during his entire life…”

** _“What do you mean?”_ **

“He always said people were messing with him first, but I knew it was wrong. He always looked for troubles: a look, a bad word…everything was good as long as he could fight.”

“Wasn’t it just a way to let his anger explode?” wondered Shinra.

“That’s what I thought to begin with…until I realized it was just a way for him to be hurt. He wanted people hurt him…and when he saw it wasn’t enough, he turned his anger against himself…”

** _“What??”_ **

“Nii-san was looking for troubles but he was also hurting himself. Cutting his flesh with a knife; breaking his bones hitting a wall with his hands and feet or even with his head; jumping from a roof, drowning… At the beginning, Nii-san was “just” hurting himself, and then the suicide attempts started. Nothing ever worked.”

Celty was astonished. She never knew this side of Shizuo’s personality. “**_Didn’t you…try…to stop him?”_**

Kasuka looked down. “No.”

** _“But…why?? If you knew your brother was hurting himself, why didn’t you do something???”_ **

“I couldn’t.”

** _“WHY???”_ **

“Because…Nii-san was dealing with other mental disorders.”

Shinra didn’t seem to be surprised, even if he had no idea about Shizuo’s self hatred. “What sorts of mental disorders?”

“I don’t know. Nii-san never talked about this. He always refused to see a doctor or a therapist. My mother tried to make him see one when he was ten. She thought a therapy could calm his anger and help him to control his temper. She had no idea about my brother’s disorders, as nobody.” He sighed. “But I saw Nii-san more than once talking alone…shaking his head vigorously…and when he couldn’t stand it anymore, he hit something with all of his strength to make it stop…”

“Physical pain to stop mental disorder…” added Shinra. “It makes sense now you say that…”

** _ “Shinra…did you know…”_ **

“No. But I always wondered why Shizuo was incapable to control his temper…I guess I have my answer now.”

** _“But it doesn’t explain why you did nothing to stop him when you saw he was destroying himself…”_ **

“Celty.” Said Shinra putting his hand on hers. “In those kind of situations, when the subject isn’t ready, any action could have the exact opposite effect…”

** _“What do you mean?”_ **

“I suppose Kasuka-kun was afraid to make it worse. Am I wrong?” Asked Shinra.

The brunette nodded. “I don’t think I would have been able to stop him…after all, it began with me.”

“Don’t blame yourself.” Said Ruri rubbing gently his back.

“But Celty-san is right. I’ve done nothing for him…”

Everybody kept quiet. This revelation of Shizuo’s past was astonishing. Who knew behind this strong and indestructible man hid such a hurt and fragile boy?

**_“And…what role Izaya got in this mess?”_** asked Celty.

“Orihara-san…was Shizuo’s refuge.”

** _“Refuge?”_ **

“He managed to turn the hatred Nii-san had for himself against him. The more Orihara-san was messing up with him, the less Nii-san hurt himself. His obsession with Orihara-san increased day after day. He found someone other than he to express his hatred on and he could handle it.”

** _“Did..Izaya know about Shizuo’s mental disorders?”_ **

“Yes. I think he knew since the beginning. I’m not sure he knows exactly what Nii-san is suffering from, but I suppose he just guessed it.”

** _“Why do you know that?”_ **

“Every single thing Orihara-san did during those ten years to my brother had a reason…even if I don’t understand some of these.”

** _“Izaya tried to kill your brother more than once! Did you already forget it???”_ **

“This is some of the choices I didn’t understand…”

** _“Sorry to be rude but don’t you think you…imagined Izaya had done this to your brother for his own good to convince yourself?”_ **

“?”

** _“I mean, you were incapable to do something for Shizuo and when you saw Izaya had a sort of “good” impact on his mental state, you thought it was right…”_ **

“I thought about this, Celty-san. It’s actually what I told myself until…I discovered why he made him accused for this crime.”

** _“What do you mean?”_ **

“I found him this bartender job at this bar. The boss was an acquaintance of mine. I remember Nii-san was enjoying it, so when I bought the bartender suits, he was really happy and he wanted to do his best to keep this job. I’ve never seen him like this…I thought he was feeling better. I suppose it was a sort of compensation to have done nothing for him during all those years. I wanted to be there for him…but I didn’t know things would turn that bad…”

** _ “What happened?”_ **

“I thought Orihara-san wanted to recall me my absence and my lack of reaction about Nii-san. It was like this indeed, but I learned later that the boss was involved in yakuza business and he was threatened since a long time ago. Orihara-san pulled Nii-san out of this just in time because few days later, the bar closed. Some yakuza came to carry out their threat and killed the boss and four of his employees…”

** _“So…you think Izaya saved his life?”_ **

“Nii-san was safer in prison than outside. The boss had asked him to become his bodyguard. He knew he was threatened…”

“I see…”

“I guess Orihara-san knew Nii-san would be exonerated from this accusation.”

** _“But…if he really protected Shizuo during all this time, why did he try to kill him the last time? I was there! Shizuo was about to die…”_ **

“I know…and that’s something I don’t understand. Only Orihara-san can answer.”

Shinra crossed his arms against his chest. “How did you manage to convince him to help us for Shizuo?”

“…”

Ruri’s cat jumped from her lap and ran into the living room. She went after him, leaving Celty, Shinra and Kasuka alone.

He looked at his girlfriend from behind. “He went to my place to give me the location where Nii-san was. I remember what he told me and even if I hate to admit it, he was right…”

“What did he tell you?”

_“I wondered why you did it for a complete stranger as Ruri Hijiribe when you were incapable to do it for your own brother…”_

** _“Did what?”_ **

Kasuka looked down. “Taking care of her…” He couldn’t help to feel guilty even if he remained stoic. “I’ve done nothing to help my brother. When Orihara-san came to me, I recalled him the reason why he took care of Nii-san during all this time…I suppose that’s why he changed his mind to help us…but he hit me back recalling me that I’ve done nothing to save Nii-san from himself…”

**_“Do you think…Izaya…”_** started to ask Celty.

“I don’t know if this is love, affection, or something else…I just know he felt he had to do that for Nii-san.”

“So you don’t know why he did that?”

“No. Orihara-san is unpredictable. I don’t know why he did that. I want to believe he always loved Nii-san…but he did so many bad things I wonder if he can be that good…to be honest, I don’t want to know his real motives, as long as Nii-san feels better, it doesn’t matter.”

** _“He claims all the time he loves humans. I don’t get it…”_ **

“You know, Izaya may seem cold blooded, but he is more human and his heart more brittle than anybody else's, so much so that if filled with human love or betrayal it will break easily, which is why, I think, he chose, from the beginning, to avoid it all. To love humanity, you understand? Not to accept it, not to face it, to avoid it.”

“You’re probably right, Kishitani-san…”


	11. A long process

During the two next days, Kasane didn’t touch Shizuo. Kane stayed with them, but didn’t make a move on the blond. He didn’t speak to him either but he never missed a chance to tease him with his cruel smile. Shizuo knew he had to remain calm if he didn’t want to be stopped by Saika’s blade.

The third day, in the middle of the night, after the dinner. Shizuo was sitting on the couch, fixing the floor with dead eyes. He was thinking about his friends, his brother…about Izaya.

_“Do they think about me? I should have at least told them I was leaving…”_ he sighted sadly. He was interrupting in thoughts when he saw a pair of shoes. He lifted his head and saw Kane, hands in his pockets, staring at him with lust, smirking. Shizuo looked angrily at him and was about to get up, when Kasane joined them.

Both of them sat by Shizuo’s side, encircling him. Kasane pushed the blond against the back of the sofa gently. He blushed, knowing what was coming. Kane began to unbutton his shirt, but Shizuo slapped his hand. He had no intention to obey him. But the man grabbed Shizuo’s wrist and squeezed almost breaking it. He was ready to use his other fist to punch him when Kasane captured his lips with hers and kissed him gently.

“Stop fighting back, Heiwajima-san.”

He struggled but lighter. He knew he wouldn’t win against them…especially when he was the one had asked this to begin with. Kane’s face came closer and kissed his throat, biting him, before tasting with his wet tongue the delicious blond’s flesh. Each time this man touched him, Shizuo felt nauseous. He wanted to puke. He released the grip on his wrist and touched his torso, pinching his nipple.

“Make yourself comfortable, Heiwajima-san.” Said Kasane. She made him sit on Kane’s tights and took off his shirt completely. The blond was facing the man, half naked. Kane took a delight pleasure to see the irritated expression on Shizuo’s face and continued to tease his nipples with his fingers, toying with it, until he decided to taste it. He opened his mouth and captured his right nipple with his teeth. At the beginning, he was just licking it, and then he bit it hard, and harder. The sensation was everything except good for the blond who managed to keep his composure in front of the man’s abuse. The bite became painful, especially when the teeth went deeper on the smooth flesh making it bleed. Shizuo had the impression to be stabbed and was disgusted. But when he tried to move, he again felt Kasane’s presence behind him. She was playing with his other nipple and used her blade to piece it. The blade penetrated the flesh slowly, which was even more painful.

“Does it feel good, Heiwajima-san?”

He didn’t answer. Usually, the pain Kasane gave to him also brought some guilty pleasure, but Kane’s presence just gave him discomfort and sickness.

“You’re so pale. Is it Kane’s presence which put you in this state?”

The other man laughed. He hated Shizuo. The more he hurt him, the happier he was.

“Then, let’s go further.” She pulled his hair and made him fall on his knees. She used Saika to tie his hands and arms on his back. She nodded at Kane, who unbuttoned his pants to let appear his erection.

“Use your mouth, Heiwajima-san.”

Shizuo was breathing heavily. There was no way he would suck this bastard’s dick. He would rather have his tongue sliced than doing that. But Kasane had different ways to make him obey. She used Kane’s tie and blinded Shizuo’s eyes with it.

“Remember this day…when you fought with him for the first time…” she whispered.

“Wh..what are you doing?”

“You tried to hit him but he avoided your punch…and he sliced your chest with his knife…”

Of course, he remembered it…during this time, Kane was stroking his cock enjoying the view on a submissive Shizuo.

“What did you feel when the knife hurt you? Tell me…”

“T-take it off…”

“It hurt, but you also felt good, right? It was the first time he touched you…even if it wasn’t directly. It was the closest body contact you got with him…”

Shizuo became hot. Remembering this time made him crazy.

“You could have hurt him pretty bad…when the only thing you wanted to do was this…” she made him opening his mouth and he didn’t have the time to react that Kane shoved his entire organ inside, making him chock.

“You wanted to take him in your mouth…feeling, tasting every part of his…you would have loved seeing him looking down on you, guiding your head, teaching you how to make him feel good…”

Kane grabbed the back of Shizuo’s head and literally fucked his mouth. He could feel the other man had problems to breath.

“You would have given him so much pleasure that he would have moaned your name again and again…”

Kane went harder on him making him swallowing his entire organ. He could feel it pressed against his throat.

The scent, the taste, the pressure…everything tasted awful. But Shizuo couldn’t stop. First because Kasane was forcing him physically and then because she was talking about Izaya. The mental picture of the man he desired so much was tearing him apart.

Kane felt really good and increased the pressure and the speed. He wanted to release himself soon.

“…and he would have come in your mouth…you would have drunk every drop of his delicious cum…”

At this time, Kane kept Shizuo’s face firmly pressed and shot his load inside. The pressure and the nausea made Shizuo throw up and some vomit escaped from his mouth. He couldn’t breathe and was suffocating.

“Drink it all, Heiwajima-san.”

But the poor blond was too exhausted to obey. Kane pinched his nose to force him swallowing it. Kasane took off the blind on his eyes and Shizuo could face the man’s eyes. He still had his dripping cock inside his mouth. After the juicy deep throat, Kane wanted to make Shizuo lick his balls that ended in magma of viscous slobber. But the blond had another idea and despite the fact his mouth was still full, he was smirking. Kane felt the danger coming but it was already too late and Shizuo bit his cock hard.

“AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!” Kane tried to pull out but Shizuo was biting hard. It was only thanks to Kasane that he managed to free himself. He dropped on the floor, holding his bloody organ and screamed in pain. Shizuo was grinning like a winner. He had been humiliated but there was no way he would lose in front of this bastard.

“This was a bad idea, Heiwajima-san.” Said Kasane still calm. She used Saika again and pierced his whole body but it wasn’t enough to make him stop grinning. He was still staring at Kane with triumph.

“y-you…SON OF BITCH!!” Yelled Kane furious and rushed toward him.

He hit Shizuo several times in the face, breaking his nose and mouth. His punches were brutal and fast. The blond fell on his back still tied with Saika’s blades and took the blows one after another. During this time, Kasane was looking at the scene without moving. The more Kane hit Shizuo the more the blond laughed louder. But after five minutes hitting non-stop, Kane was exhausted. He couldn’t make him stop laughing and his cock still hurt.

“That’s enough.” Said Kasane. “Physical pain isn’t effective against him. You could hit him the whole day it wouldn’t change anything.”

“This bastard…bit my cock!! He’s fucking dead!!!”

“He will pay for that, don’t worry.” She used more blades to restrain Shizuo’s body and moved closer to Kane. “I’ll take care of your wound first. We’ll deal with him later. Looks like he really hates you.”

* * *

Kasuka was still at Shinra’s place. Izaya’s condition didn’t change. He was having a break on the balcony when Shinra joined him.

“Kasuka-kun?”

“Kishitani-san? Something’s wrong?”

“No. I just wondered where you were…”

“I was just staring at the city lights…”

Kasuka looked sad. Those last days had been difficult to deal with for him.

“It’s weird to see you this way.”

“This way?” asked the actor.

“Yeah…I mean, so honest with your emotions.”

“…”

“I know you love your brother…and Shizuo knows it.”

“What did I do for him? Nothing. I let a perfect stranger dealing with his problems…and he got almost killed. What sort of loving brother am I, Kishitani-san?”

“We are all guilty here, Kasuka-kun. No one did anything…”

“But contrary to you, I knew. I knew since the beginning he was sick…”

“Have you seen him having panic attacks or something like that? What did he say when he was talking alone?”

“It was confused. Most of the time, he seemed talking to himself, telling himself to shut up…I saw him having panic attacks…and each time it arrived, i…”

“You?”

“I…hid. I closed my eyes praying it would end soon.” Kasuka fixed the horizon with dead eyes. “I was scared…”

“I understand. He could have hurt you pretty bad with a single blow if you had tried to help him. You did the right thing. Besides, I don’t think Shizuo would have appreciated to let you see him so weak…”

“I lied to him.”

“?”

“One day, when we went to the park to play, we were above the large toboggan. Nii-san asked me if I was scared of him…and I told him I wasn’t.”

“You didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“We had no friends. Nii-san never managed to get friend with anyone except you and Tanaka-san. Kadota-san was just an acquaintance. He was so lonely.”

“What about you?”

“?”

“Did you have friends Kasuka-kun?”

“No…actually, people got scared. They didn’t want to be friends with me because of Nii-san…”

“Is it why you changed your name for Yuuhei Hanejima?”

Kasuka stared at Shinra. “I’m not ashamed of my brother.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It was my manager’s decision. I didn’t want to but he told me people would blackmail Nii-san if they knew we were related, so I agreed.” He turned around. “But I know it hurt him…”

“Did he tell you?”

“No. He never dared. But you know Nii-san; He’s more honest than me showing his emotions.”

“But I think you start to show yours, Kasuka-kun.”

“I don’t know if it’s a good thing.”

“It’s not because you look emotionless that means you don’t feel anything. You have the right to express your feelings, you know? It doesn’t make you weak…or it doesn’t make you look like your brother.”

“…”

Shinra put his hand on Kasuka’s shoulder to cheer him up. “Shizuo has always been proud of you.”

“He never told me.”

“Because he never needed to tell you. You already know it, right?”

“I guess…”

“We’ll find him, Kasuka-kun. This way, you could tell him what you feel.”

* * *

After the last incident between Kane and Shizuo, Kasane decided she had to restrain the blond to make sure he would never do it again. She threw Shizuo in a sort of cage. The small place was dark and cold. Since he was naked, it was even harder to endure the temperature. There was no light, no bars. Just dark walls all over. No bed, no window, now washbasin, no toilet…absolutely nothing. Actually, he just had enough space to sit, legs pressed against his torso; he couldn’t move a lot or lay down. He had at least some holes to hollow him to breathe but he couldn’t see any light coming from there. She hadn’t fed him.

Shizuo had tried to call, or to destroy the walls hitting it, but nothing cracked, except his bones each time he used his hands. He had lost the track of time. He didn’t remember since how long he was there and when she would free him.

**“You fucked up again, right?”**

“…”

**“What? You really thought I disappeared?”**

“l-leave me alone…”

**“Do you think you could die of hunger? No…you’re too fat for that.”**

“Shut..up..”

**“You stopped bleeding, right? Too bad. You could have died from anemia if only this bastard hit you harder…”**

“..just shut..the fuck up…”

**“Anyway, how was his dick? Did it taste good?”**

“I SAID SHUT UP!!!”

**“I’m sure you liked it, you masochist pervert…”**

Shizuo felt nauseous again and puked. Since he hadn’t a lot of space, a part of his vomit poured on his stomach.

**“You’re disgusting…”**

The smell in the cage was now unbearable. He was suffocating.

“LET ME OUT!!” he yelled. But no one came.

**“You’ve been a real bad boy, Shizu-chan…”**

“D-don’t…ever call me that way…”

**“Or what? You’ll kill me? That means you’ll have to kill yourself and since you never managed to do it properly, I’ve nothing to fear…”**

To make the voice stop, he began to hit his head hard…but he was still feeling sick and he just made him puke again.

**“Fool. How long do you intend to run away from me?”**

“Fuck..off..”

**“You hate yourself. How could you have possibly thought he could have loved you, even for a second knowing you're even not capable to like yourself?”**

“Sh..ut up…”

**“Remember the way he called you the last time you saw him? What was it…?”**

“E-enough..”

**“Hum…beast? No! Something different…brute maybe?”**

“Pl..lease…stop..”

**“Ah…I remember. “Monster”.”**

Then, Shizuo vomited again. He was shaking so hard that he felt the walls pressing around him.

**“Just remembering him is enough to put you in this state? “**

“Ah..le..t me die..alread..y..”

**“Do you think you deserve this?”**

“S-st..op…please..”

**“Remember this night, Shizuo. You threw him over the building as a ball of baseball. Did you know that you hurt him so bad that he was coughing blood?”**

The disgusting picture made him shiver in disgust, but he had nothing to puke again…so he felt the bile coming to his throat.

**“Remember the noise of his jaw when it cracked under your hit?”**

“S-top…”

**“What about his bones? The noise of his broken bones when he protected himself with his arms…poor creature. You broke his two arms in one sitting. He wasn’t even capable to raise his body correctly…”**

“STOP!!!” Then, Shizuo cracked and yelled as loud as he could, hitting the walls repetitively with his hand; hit after hit, he tried to pierce it.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Nothing moved. He hit the wall again and again until his hands were no longer in condition to move. All of his fingers, bones, ligaments…every part hurt like hell. His hands were covered of bruises and blood. He couldn’t even lift it anymore.

**“You can’t escape. Why do you think she threw you here? I’ll stay by your side. I’ll tell you about your lovely Izaya…I’ll tell you how much you hurt him…how much you made him bleed…how much you broke him…”**

“STOP!!! ENOUGH!!! STOP TALKING!!!”

**“NEVER!!!”**

* * *

Ruri was playing with her cat. She was still by Kasuka’s side but he was exhausted so he took the bedroom to have some rest. Celty saw her alone in the living room.

“Celty-san…”

“?”

“Can I ask you something?”

She nodded and sat in front of her.

“Would you do something bad…to protect the person you love?”

She didn’t seem to understand. She tapped on her PDA. “**_It depends of the circumstances…but I suppose if it’s to protect someone I care, I probably will…”_**

“Even if…you know it will hurt him to know what you intend to do?”

** _“Are you referring to Kasuka?”_ **

“…”

** _“Ruri-kun. I’m not judging you. You can tell me.”_ **

“I…I love Kasuka.”

** _“I can see that.”_ **

“I didn’t think I could possibly feel something like that for someone one day. We..both understand each other without speaking…”

Celty seemed to laugh. “**_You both are so stoic and emotionless…you were made for each other!”_**

“Maybe…”

She looked nervous. “**_Oh! Did I hurt your feelings? I’m so sorry. It wasn’t what I meant…”_**

“Don’t mind at all, Celty-san. I understand.”

Ruri let her cat go; The little pet went on the carpet and lie down to have a nap.

“I once met Kasuka’s brother…”

** _“Yes I remember. He brought you with Kasuka here and…”_ **

“I mean…I met him before that.”

** _“Ah?”_ **

“Yes…”

** _“Wh..when did you meet him?”_ **

“The night I met Kasuka…just before he brought me to his home and called Kishitani-san.”

** _“…”_ **

“I..I was fighting in the park with Egor-san…”

** _“And?”_ **

“And…we didn’t see Shizuo-san and Tanaka-san were there. Shizuo-san thought we were trying to steal the money they collected and…”

** _“And?”_ **

“Shizuo-san let…his anger explode and he beat us…” she was shaking hard remembering this night.

** _“Oh God!! Does Kasuka-kun know about this?”_ **

“I never told him…”

Celty could see how much Ruri seemed to fear Shizuo. “**_So…I suppose you’re scared of Shizuo, right?”_**

“He’s…so threatening! I thought I was about to die…”

** _“I’m sorry…but Shizuo is not the monster you imagine…”_ **

“Celty-san. He’s scaring me. I don’t want…to be near of him ever again…but he’s Kasuka’s big brother and…”

** _“You both got off on the wrong foot. Just try to know him better and you will see he’s a good person…”_ **

“I don’t want to see him hurting Kasuka…”

** _“He would never do that!”_ **

“But he did in the past…or at least, he had tried…”

**_“…”_** Celty understood what she meant but Shizuo wasn’t a bad person. **_“If you love Kasuka as much as you said, you should try to get along with Shizuo. At least, do it for Kasuka. You saw how much they both care about each other…and you heard about Shizuo’s problems so…try to understand…”_**

“I understand…that’s why I don’t know what to do anymore…”

** _“About what?”_ **

“Should I…help you finding Shizuo-san or…should I keep him away from Kasuka?”

** _“W-wait!! You know where Shizuo is?”_ **

“Over the years, my family went bankrupt due to bad investments. Free to do as I wanted, I took up an apprenticeship as a special effects makeup artist under my teacher Tenjin Zakuroya. I gained critical acclaim for my work on the series "Vampire Ninja Carmilla Saizou" and was scouted by the talent agency, Yodogiri Shining Corporation under Kasane Kujiragi. I know her pretty well. Besides…”

** _“What?”_ **

“She saved me from the stalker who was after me. She was the one who convinced me to not denounce myself for my crimes…”

** _“So, you know where she is? Why did she capture Shizuo? Are you in contact with her?”_ **

“I haven’t talked to her since the time she saved me. I didn’t know for Shizuo-san and I don’t see why she took him with her…but maybe I know where she could be…”


	12. The help

During five long days, Shizuo stayed confined in his cage. He had yelled until he broke his voice, hit the wall with all of his strength almost every day until he couldn’t move his hands anymore, cried until he had no tear to shed…He didn’t receive any food but just water occasionally. He had stayed in the middle of his urine and vomit since he hadn’t been allowed to get out. He had begged and begged again to be released but no one came to rescue him. During five long days, he had to stay by himself, left with his tormented soul. He had lost the track of time. He couldn’t tell since how long he had been trapped here…but he just hoped every passing day he would die. But unfortunately for him, his stupid strong body refused to let him pass away…

Kasane was working on her computer. Of course, she had heard Shizuo’s shouts and she had noticed he had stopped calling her after awhile. She checked if he was still alive but didn’t release him yet. At the end of the night, Kane went back to home. He took off his vest and threw it on the couch before going to the kitchen to have a beer in the fridge.

“So? Is the bitch still there?”

“Yes.”

“How long do you intend to make him wait?”

“I’ll release him soon enough. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried.”

“I think he learned his lesson. He won’t do that again.”

“I’ll take care personally of his punishment.” Said Kane grinning. “I can tell you by the time I’ll end with him, he will no longer remember his own name…”

“Don’t forget who you’re talking about.”

“The strongest man of Ikebukuro? What a joke! Just a pathetic sick boy…”

“He really hates you.”

“Yeah…sounds weird since you’re the one who started this shit about torturing him…”

“He was the one who asked in the first place.”

“Sounds even weirder. Pitiful masochist.”

“It’s more complicated than you can imagine…”

“How do you know all this shit about his life anyway?”

“He told me before I started to break him. I wanted to know everything about him to crush his soul.”

“I don’t give a damn fuck about what is wrong with this bitch, as long as I can enjoy his body…”

“He will hate you even more when you’d be done with him. Do you realize it?”

“Do you think I’m scared?”

“Don’t forget your place, Kane. You might be the hunter as long as I command, but by the time I’d end with him, be careful to not become the prey.”

“It won’t happen.”

“Let’s get him. I think it’s enough.”

Kane followed her. When they reached the cage, they could hear soft whimpers coming from the poor blond. Kasane opened the cage and moved back to let Kane grabbing Shizuo by the hair.

“It fucking stinks!”

The smell was horrible. Vomit, sweat, urine…Kane even wondered how he could have lived in this during five days since he could barely stand it. He threw the blond on the floor roughly. The poor Shizuo was struggling and shaking. He kept his eyes closed because the light was blinding him. He had stayed in the dark for too long to be accustomed to the natural light. His soul and body were screaming but no sound escaped from him. His throat was so dry, he was exhausted to fight against himself and some of his wounds started to get infected, without talking about his hands…crumpled, bruised, broken, bleeding…the flesh turned to the blue because of the repetition of the hits on the wall.

“What should we do with him?”

“He needs a bath first. I’ll take care of his injuries.”

He nodded and grabbed Shizuo by the hair, dragging in the bathroom. The blond lost all of his strength, so he didn’t fight back.

* * *

Celty was driving in the streets. She checked every place Ruri gave her. Since Jinnai Yodogiri was in conflict with other groups, especially the Awakusu-Kai, he needed to be careful. His quarters had several locations all over the city. Since Akane’s kidnapping, Yodogiri was threatened by Awakusu and his underlings. Of course, the group knew immediately about Celty’s investigation and they moved out quickly. She had asked to Kadota and his friends to check the other locations. But each time she was visiting a place, she found nothing. She understood quickly the group was already aware of her search. 

**_“How could they know? Izaya is still unconscious. Nobody could have told them…”_** she thought.

She contacted Kadota.

** _“Kadota? Did you guys find something?”_ **

_“Celty. Nothing yet. What about you?”_

** _“Nothing…”_ **

_“That’s strange…we met no one. Something happened.”_

** _“Do you think someone talked?”_ **

_“It can’t be different.”_

** _“But who? I would have sworn Izaya was behind this if only he wasn’t unconscious…”_ **

_“Yeah…but they moved everything. It is as if they completely vanished.”_

** _“How many places did you already check?”_ **

_“Three. Kida told me he would check the last ones with his gang.”_

She sighted. Kadota added something in another message.

_“I don’t think they would be there anyway but it’s better to check.”_

** _“Ok. Let’s join at my place.”_ **

_“See you later.”_

Celty put the phone in her pocket. She was disoriented. Where should she search for Shizuo now?

Then, she remembered the incident with Akane.

“**_I should use Izaya’s contact if I want to find something…_**” she left the place quickly, letting her headless horse roaring.

Someone from the roof of the building next to the place Celty just visited looked at her leaving and took his phone.

“It’s me; I just saw the black biker leaving.”

_“I see. We also received some visitors too.”_

“Who?”

_“Kadota and his group. They just left. I heard him talking with someone. Looks like he sent someone to check Shinjuku location.”_

“It doesn’t matter. They’ll find nothing.”

_“Call the boss to inform him.”_

“Ok.”

* * *

Somewhere in Ikebukuro.

“Shiki-san? Someone is asking for a talk with you.”

The yakuza was having an important discussion with Akabayashi. He was clearly irritated by the interruption.

“I’ve no time for this. Just send him away.” He ignored the man waving at him but he didn’t move. He frowned when he noticed his nervousness.

“What is it?”

“Hum…it’s..” said apprehensively the man.

“WHAT?” asked Shiki exasperated.

“It’s…the black biker…”

Shiki fixed Akabayashi, perplex.

“What does she want? Something related to Akane-chan maybe?” guessed Akabayashi.

“Don’t think so…” replied Shiki. “Let her come in.”

The man nodded and closed the door. Few seconds later, Celty appeared. She tapped on her PDA.

** _“Shiki-san. Akabayashi-san. I’m sorry to disturb you.”_ **

“Come in my dear. You’re welcome. Have a seat.”

She nodded and sat in front of them.

“Long time no see dear messenger.” Welcomed Akabayashi.

“Thanks again for Akane-chan.” Added Shiki.

Celty wrote again. **_“Such a cute girl. How is she?”_**

“She’s training. She still wants to become stronger…” replied Akabayashi smiling.

** _“Good…”_ **

“So? What can I do for you, courier-san?”

** _“Hum…I’m looking for some information about… Yodogiri…”_ **

The two looked each other. They knew him very well.

“May I ask you why?”

** _“They…I think they kidnapped a friend of mine.”_ **

“Heiwajima-san?” guessed Shiki-san.

** _“H-how do you..know??”_ **

“We’re always well informed concerning our enemies.” Replied Akabayashi.

“How is Orihara?” asked Shiki.

** _“Still in the coma…Do you know anything about Shizuo?”_ **

“We haven’t heard a lot about this. But we know Heiwajima-san is captive. They probably drugged him because he wouldn’t have followed them.”

** _“Yes…that’s what I think too. But I don’t understand why they kidnapped him.”_ **

“Yodogiri is dangerous. I must confess it’s hard for us to understand his real motives. I warned Orihara and he didn’t take it seriously until he got stabbed…You should watch your back, courier-san.”

** _“Yes…thanks.”_ **

“Have you checked his quarters?”

** _“Yes. We almost searched Shizuo everywhere but we found nothing in their different locations.”_ **

“There’s somewhere you probably haven’t visited yet…” replied Akabayashi.

**_“Really?”_** replied Celty with her PDA with hope.

“But you should wait to go there.” Added Shki.

** _“But…why?”_ **

“They definitely know you’re looking for your friend so they’ll be prepared if you rush there right now.”

** _“But…what if they killed Shizuo?”_ **

“Heiwajima-san is still alive.”

** _“I thought you knew nothing?”_ **

“I said we don’t know much. That’s different. We know he’s still alive. But that’s all.”

** _“So…what should we do now?”_ **

“You have to take your precautions. Make them believe you don’t know their last place. This way, they would put their guard down and you would be able to attack them.”

** _“For how long?”_ **

“Two or three days.”

** _“Why that long?”_ **

“Your friends aren’t fit to fight yakuza. No offence but all of you guys are amateurs. We’re waiting for reinforcements.”

** _“So…does it mean you’re gonna help us???”_ **

“Don’t misunderstand courier-san. There’s nothing to do with Heiwajima-san. But we have an unfinished business with the Yodogiri.”

“Besides, we owe you for Akane-chan.” Told Akabayashi.

“So it will be the opportunity to finish them. We both have the same goal, not for the same interest thought.”

** _“Ok. Thank you.”_ **

“You’re welcome. I’ll call you when we’ll be ready. Stay alert.”

She nodded and bowed to thank them before leaving.

* * *

Kasane was working on her computer again. She had treated Shizuo’s wounds and let him sleep in the bedroom. He wasn’t in condition physically or emotionally to endure another session of their game. She perfectly knew he would faint.

Kane was getting bored.

“Wanna play. Why don’t we go to fuck him?”

“It's useless in his state.” She replied still working.

“I thought the plan was to break him?”

“Yeah…Heiwajima-san is special. We can’t do whatever we want or we would put ourselves in danger. Besides, he needs to be awake to be tortured. In his state, he would just pass out while we would fuck him. There’s no interest here.”

This answer didn’t seem to satisfy him. He got up and approached to touch her shoulder seductively. “Well, maybe we could play together then?”

She used Saika and pointed the blade just in front of his right eye. “Saika would be loved to know you.”

He moved back and renounced. “You’re not funny at all…”

“I never do anything when it’s not necessary.”

“Where’s the fun anyway?”

“I don’t understand the meaning of this word.”

“Liar. I saw you enjoyed torturing him.”

She stopped tapping the keyboard to think. “Human nature is complex. Heiwajima-san is full of emotions. I want to explore and experiment all of it.”

“You’re crazy…”

Their discussion stopped when Kasane’s cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

_“They know for us.”_

She recognized the boss’s voice.

“What do they know?”

_“Not much but enough to look for us. They checked each place. It won’t be long before they find you.”_

“How did they get this information? Orihara-san isn’t supposed to be in coma?”

_“He is indeed. But I suppose someone talked.”_

“Ruri Hijiribe.”

_“Among others. I think the Awakusu-Kai is involved. They called reinforcements. Have you done with Heiwajima?”_

“Not yet. I need more time.”

_“We don’t have time. If you can’t do it, let’s end this.”_

“I’m almost done.”

_“We’ll be attacked soon. We already left.”_

“Let them come.”

_“What do you mean?”_ the boss seemed to be perplexed. But he trusted Kasane.

“We will propose them a deal.”

_“A deal?”_

“An exchange to be exact.”

_“Who’s you’re thinking to?”_

“Someone we’ll get when they will attack us.”

_“I’m not sure to understand what you planned…”_

“I’m coming to the office. I’ll explain everything.”

_“What about Heiwajima?”_

“He’s not in condition to leave in his state. I’ll drug him to be sure he won’t wake up until I’m back. Kane will watch him.”

_“Understood. I’m waiting for you.”_

She ended her call and took her bag with her computer.

“I’m leaving. I’ll back in two hours.”

“And now I have to babysit him?”

“I won’t be long.”

She went to the bedroom and took a syringe. Shizuo was sleeping and didn’t seem to have felt the injection. When she was done, she left and walked away.

She stopped at the entrance. “One more thing.”

“What?” replied Kane, turning his head to face her.

“Don’t touch him.”

He smirked at her and ignored her recommendations. She left closing the door behind her.

Kane hated to receive orders. But he couldn’t disobey her. After some minutes of hesitation, he decided to go to see Shizuo.

The blond was sleeping deeply. He still had dark rings under the eyes. Kane approached slowly and sat on the bed. He took off the sheet which covered Shizuo and observed him with lust.

“It would be nice to play with you while you’re asleep…” he was touching Shizuo’s chest gently. The blond couldn’t react to his touch.

“She said to not touch you…but she didn’t say anything about using your mouth, ne?” he said touching his lips. He opened Shizuo’s mouth and played with his tongue. He wanted to fuck him senseless but he would let some marks on his body and Kasane would notice it; he didn’t want to become one of her “adepts”. Saika’s power was scaring…and he wondered how the bitch could be insensitive to her power.

He put his boxer down and grabbed his large erected cock before shoving into Shizuo’s mouth forcibly. He perfectly recalled the day when Shizuo bit it and he swore he would make him pay for that in time. But now he wanted to finish what they started the last time. He couldn’t deny the blond's mouth was pretty good.

“Suck it all bitch…” he moaned blissfully. The blond was passive and couldn’t feel anything since he was drugged. 


	13. A painful choice

When she came back home, Kasane saw Kane watching the television.

“I’m back.”

“…” he didn’t replied. He certainly had no intention to reply “welcome home”. They weren’t married after all.

She noticed something different in his attitude. He was calm and relaxed, which meant something happened.

“Did he wake up during my absence?”

“No. Your precious boy is sleeping like an angel.” He replied with sarcasm.

She went to the bedroom to check by herself. Of course she didn’t trust Kane. Shizuo was sleeping deeply, laid on his back and breathing normally. She came closer and noticed a little white substance on the corner of his mouth. She wiped it and joined Kane in the leaving room.

“Didn’t I tell you to not touch him?”

“I didn’t.”

She encircled his body with Saika without touching him. The man froze, seeing her coming closer.

“You know I won’t tolerate insubordination.”

“I..ok, I just used his mouth but I swear I didn’t touch him!” he admitted.

She took her blades off and continued to face him as if nothing happened. “If that’s so, I don’t mind.”

He sighed softly, relieved. “What? Wanna save his pussy ass for yourself?”

“You will play with him soon enough, but now I’ve a mission for you.” She held him a paper.

“What is it?”

“An address. And your targets.”

Kane read it quickly and showed it in his pocket. “Why not now?”

“Too many people around.”

“I see.”

She got up. “We’re moving. Take him and put him in the car.”

“You know it’s fucking late, huh?”

“Our enemies already know our location. We need to move.”

“I hope it’s the last time. He’s fucking heavy to carry, you know?”

“He’s smaller than you.”

They both reached the bedroom. Kane grabbed Shizuo’s body and carried him. Kasane took the clothes they had left and noticed his bartender suit. She had given him other clothes since the first time they met, but Shizuo refused to throw it even if he didn’t wear it anymore. She took the bow tie and deposed it on the bed.

Kane went back at this time. “It’s done.” He noticed the black bow tie on the bed. “You forgot this.”

“I didn’t.”

“?”

“I want they find it when they will come.”

The man smirked. “Such a sadistic woman you are…”

“Let’s go.”

* * *

Two days later. Celty received a message from Shiki. She had explained the whole situation to everybody. The group was ready to attack. They had the location and the reinforcements they needed. The plan was simple: they would go first and Shiki’s group would join them, securing the perimeter. Nobody was reassured but since Celty was there, she could protect everyone…

“So? Are we ready to leave?” asked Kida.

“Yeah!” replied Chikage.

Celty was nervous. Shinra felt it and tried to reassure her. “Celty? What is it?”

She tapped on her PDA. **_“I have a bad feeling about the mission…it seems too..easy.”_**

Kadota crossed his arms against his chest. “I feel the same. Something is wrong…”

“Dotachin is too anxious…” joked Erika.

_**“We should stay alert. We don’t want to be stuck between yakuza gangs so at the moment we get Shizuo, everyone gets back**_.” wrote Celty.

“I don’t think Shiki-san would appreciate this…” said Mikado.

“He’s not coming for Shizuo but to destroy Yodogiri.”

Kasuka went closer to the group, leaving Ruri behind him. “I want to come with you, guys.”

Simon tried to make him change his mind. “Kasuka-kun will be in danger. Shizuo wouldn’t agree.”

“I’ll try to not bother you with my presence, but…I want to be there. Please. I think I’m more concerned than everybody here since we’re talking about my brother…”

“Kasuka…” whispered Ruri worried.

“I’ll be alright. Don’t worry for me.”

Celty nodded and turned around to face Ruri. “**_I’ll protect him. I won’t leave his side if it can reassure you, ok?”_**

“Thank you Celty-san.” She replied nodding.

“Ok. Let’s go and stay on your guard, guys!”

Celty went first with Kasuka on her bike. She was followed closely by Kadota, his friends, Mikado and Anri. Kida joined them with the yellow scarves, followed by Chikage and Toramaru gang. Simon and Egor took another car.

Half an hour later, Celty and Kasuka arrived in front the place Shiki had given. A small condo in a discreet neighborhood. The silence was disturbing.

**_“It’s too calm_**…” thought Celty.

She decided to come in and asked Kasuka to stay outside. Fortunately, Kadota’s van arrived so he could watch him until she would check the house.

She came in and understood quickly there was no one here. The place was completely empty. She looked for a small clue in each single room but there was nothing. She ended with the last room. She noticed a black bow tie on the bed.

“Shizuo…he was there…” she thought taking the tie.

During this time, outside. Everybody finally joined at the meeting point. Everyone was waiting for Celty’s return.

“Such a waste of time. Heiwajima is definitely not here…” complained Chikage. He sent back his men. Kida did the same thing but remained with the group. 

After ten minutes, Celty went back.

“Did you find something, Celty?”

She shook her head but showed the black bow tie. Kasuka took it. “Nii-san’s…”

“They trapped us. They knew we were coming…” said Kadota.

Then, they heard shots and explosions behind them. They understood Shiki-men were having troubles with Yodogiri’s ones.

“Let’s get out of here!” said Mikado.

Everybody agreed and left quickly. Few minutes later, the police arrived and the fight between the two yakuza groups stopped. Actually, Shiki hadn’t sent as men as he promised but just five ones. He already knew Yodogiri discovered his plan and he didn’t take any risk. He had informed Celty with a message.

The group moved away from the location and met on a parking to think about they had to do next.

* * *

During this assault.

Shinra had stayed at his apartment with Ruri and Saki. Since Izaya was still in coma, they needed someone to watch over him. Besides, Kasuka and Kida were overprotecting with their girlfriends so there was no way they would have let them come. Tom who had stayed with them during two hours had to leave to work.

“Ruri-kun? Would you like something to drink?”

“It’s alright. Thanks.”

Saki stayed at Izaya’s side. She was taking care of him, cleaning his face with a wet towel; Shinra joined her to propose her something to drink. He smiled when he saw her.

“You still have a strong bond with him, don’t you?”

She smiled. “It’s hard to forget him, especially when he’s in this state…”

“Kida-kun would be furious if he saw you.”

“I know. Izaya made a lot of bad things, I know…but I’m still close to him.”

“I understand.” Shinra sat by her side. “I feel the same…even if everybody, especially Celty, tells me he’s bad, I just can’t hate him…”

“Do you think he’s as bad as he looks? I mean, I always thought he was doing all these things for a certain reason…”

“I can’t tell you. Izaya is weird. I remember when we were students and I got stabbed. He wasn’t responsible but he asked me to tell to the police he stabbed me…at the beginning, I thought it was to build his reputation or something…but I don’t know anymore…after all what Kasuka-kun said about his relationship with Shizuo.”

“I wish I could understand what is in his mind…” sighed Saki.

“Ah! Ahh! Sounds impossible!”

The bell rang. Shinra frowned, wondering who it could be since all of their friends went to rescue Shizuo.

“Maybe my dad?” he wondered. He came to open but he didn’t have the time to unlock completely the door that someone pushed it roughly, coming inside forcibly.

“Arg!!” Shinra fell on the floor. He didn’t manage to react that the stranger hit him several times in the face, knocking him down.

He got interrupted by Ruri who attacked him. Unfortunately for her, he was faster and managed to avoid her attacks; the woman wasn’t an innocent girl but a strong creature since she came from a bloodline of vampires, being 1/4 dhampyr from her grandmother.

“Not bad at all, sweetheart…” teased the man.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“No time to waste to answer you; you’re coming with me.”

He attacked her again and couldn’t avoid some of her hits. But he suddenly grabbed her throat and threw her roughly against the wall, knocking her. She was trying to get up when the man used a gun and shot her in the leg.

“AAAH!!” she screamed in pain. She tried to hold her wound but saw there was a little arrow.

“W-what..is..that?” she asked, panicked.

“Something which help you to calm down…”

“N-no..Ka-Kas..uka…” she fell asleep right away.

“One done. Let’s take care of the second one.” He grabbed Ruri and carried her on his shoulder. He pushed the door where Izaya was resting.

Saki was trembling, holding Izaya’s body to protect him.

“Move away my lady. I need to finish him.” He said pointing his gun on him.

“Pl..please..go..away…” begged Saki crying.

“I don’t want to hurt you but if you stay in my way, I’ll kill you. I won’t say it twice.”

But Saki didn’t move. She kept facing the man, holding Izaya tighter.

“Farewell.” He concluded.

But when he was about to shoot, he received a kick between his legs and another one on his neck.

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCHING IZA-NII!!”

The man fell on the floor, making Ruri’s unconscious body rolling on her back.

Mairu and Kukuri attacked him again. They were visiting Shinra to see how Izaya was when they heard noises.

“What the fuck…” grumbled the guy.

“Only us can kill Nii-san! You’re not allowed to touch him, you fucker!” Mairu attacked him again but she got stopped quickly by a strong punch. Kukuri rushed to take the gun on the floor and shot the man in the shoulder but missed him.

He grabbed the first thing he found and threw it over her face. Since Ruri’s body was near, he grabbed her quickly and rushed to the exit as fast as he could. The fight with the girls drew too much attention and he couldn’t risk staying any longer. He managed to escape from the building, letting Saki, Mairu, Kukuri and Shinra under the shock of the sudden assault.

* * *

“So, we lost them again…” said Anri.

“It was a trap since the beginning. But why? They could have attacked us and they did nothing…” wondered Mikado.

“They wanted to show us they still had Shizuo. But I don’t see the interest…what Yodogiri could do with Shizuo? It doesn’t make any sense…” replied Kadota.

“There’s nothing else to do right now. We better wait to get more information before acting. I promised some fun to my men for nothing.” Said Chikage. “I’m leaving. See you guys.”

“Thanks for your help.” Told Kida.

“_**Let’s go home.**_” Proposed Celty.

She just finished her sentence that Kasuka received a call. He didn’t recognize the number. “A blocked number…”

The group fixed him. “You better take the call.” Said Kadota, what Kasuka did.

“Hello?”

_“Yuuhei Hanejima I presume?”_

“What do you want?”

_“As straight as your dear brother! I like that!”_

Kasuka tensed. Everybody understood it wasn’t a professional call or something.

“Where is he?”

_“Don’t worry for him. He’s safe and alive.”_

“What do you expect from him? It was you who kidnapped him, right?”

_“We didn’t exactly kidnap your brother…but let’s skip this part.”_

“What do you want? Money? Give me your price and I’ll pay what you want.”

_“We don’t want your money, Hanejima-san.”_

“So what do you want? Where’s Nii-san?”

_“You really seem to like your brother, right? Do you like him more than anyone?”_

Kasuka was disoriented by the question. He had no idea where the point was to ask this.

_“Don’t you have someone you like more than him?”_

Then, he got it exactly what he meant. Ruri.

“If you ever dare touching her, I swear…” but he got cut.

_“You better come back home my dear. The Dullahan and the yellow scarves’ leader too…”_

“WAIT!!”

The man ended the call suddenly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ruri, Saki and Shinra are in danger! Hurry! Let’s go back!!” Kasuka was now very scared and everybody hurried.

“**_Shinra_**!”

“Damn bastard! If he touched Saki, he’s fucking dead!!” roared Kida.

* * *

Ruri woke up in a small room. She had her arms and feet tied. She looked around and didn’t recognize the place. She struggled to free herself but renounced pretty fast. She was still under the effect of the drugs. She tried to collect her memory but fainted again, exhausted.

After fifteen minutes, a man came in and shook her body to wake her up.

“Open your eyes. You slept enough.”

She blinked several times to adjust her vision to the light and remembered the man who attacked her.

“Where am I?”

“Doesn’t matter. Drink.” He held a bottle of water near of her lips to let her drink.

She drank some water and kept fixing the man. “Why did you kidnap me?”

“You’ll know in time.”

He looked at her, caressing her hair gently. “Beautiful…”

She moved back, trying to escape from his touch but fell on her back.

“Don’t worry, I’ve no intention to rape you…even if it would be nice since you’re so pretty…”

She didn’t seem to be reassured at all.

“My boss would kill me if I touched you. Too bad really…I would rather playing with you than with the blond…but whatever.”

She didn’t understand what he was saying. She was trying to find a way to escape. The man reassured her, getting up.

“Don’t bother to think about a way to escape. If your beloved boyfriend does what we expect him to do, you’d be free soon…”

“So you’re after Kasuka?”

“Not really…just wait and see. It’s just a question of time.” He left the room slamming the door behind him.

Kane went back to the living room and sat on the sofa. He composed a number with his phone.

_“Have you done it?”_

“Yeah. I’ve got the girl here.”

_“And Orihara-san?”_

Kane tensed. He made a pause before answering. “I missed him.”

_“What happened? According to our information, there were only Kishitani-san and another woman at home.”_

“Yes…but I got attacked from behind by Orihara’s sisters.”

_“Are you telling me you failed because of two teenage girls?”_

“They got me by surprise and I drew too much attention and I thought I better left…”

_“I see. Well, we’ll deal with Orihara-san later.”_

“What now?”

_“Wait for my instructions. I’ll call you later.” _

“Fine.”

Kane ended his conversation with Kasane and had some rest. Izaya’ sisters didn’t go easy on him and his body still hurt.

* * *

Celty and the rest of the group arrived as fast as they could. Fortunately, Saki was safe, which reassured Kida immediately.

“Saki!”

“Kida-kun!” she rushed into his arms, relieved.

“**_Shinra_**!!” panicked Celty. The poor doctor was recovering from his attack. Mairu and Kukuri were by his side, cleaning his wounds on his face.

**_“Thank God you’re alive! How are you feeling??”_** she asked with her PDA.

“Celty…I’m fine. It’s ok…it was a chance that Mairu and Kukuri were visiting us…”

“Where’s Ruri?” asked Kasuka.

Saki looked down. “I’m sorry…but he got her.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know…a man rushed into the apartment. He attacked Kishitani-san and he fought with Ruri-san…” she began to explain shaking. “And…I don’t know what happened, but he managed to knock her and…he came in the room to kill Izaya…”

“And we arrived just in time! We seriously kicked his ass!” claimed proudly Mairu.

“But…when I tried to shoot him after he hit Mairu, he grabbed Ruri-san and left. I’m sorry…” apologized Kukuri.

“So…it was their plan. They wanted to keep us away to kidnap Ruri-san. They knew she would stay here with Saki and Shinra…” said Kadota.

Saburo was usually cool became enraged. He was Ruri’s fan since she became famous and he couldn’t support someone could have attacked her.

“If I catch this fucking son of bitch, I’ll kill him!! I’ll slice his throat and I’ll drive over his dead body until he becomes a part of the road!!”

Erika and Walker had to calm him down, holding his mouth.

“Why…why Ruri?” wondered Kasuka.

Celty wrote something again. “**_Wasn’t she chased by Yodogiri before?_**

“Yes but…why now? What is the point with Nii-san?”

** _“We’ll know soon. I’m sure they will call you.”_ **

“What if…they hurt her?”

“Hold on. I’m sure she’s alright.” Said Kadota trying to reassure the famous actor.

“You don’t know anything. How could she be alright?”

They waited at home. Nobody wanted to leave Kasuka alone in those circumstances. He had been particularly affected by the last events. First Shizuo and then Ruri.

Kadota joined Celty on the balcony.

“Hey.”

** _“…”_ **

“Do you think they’ve got something against Kasuka?” asked Kadota.

** _“?”_ **

“I mean, Shizuo, Ruri…and they called him on his cell phone. It can’t be a coincidence.”

** _“I see what you mean but I don’t think so…it sounds surprising but I’m more concerned for Shizuo than Ruri…”_ **

“Why? Shizuo can defend himself contrary to Ruri.”

** _“Usually yes, but not in his state…I have a bad feeling.”_ **

“…”

Erika joined them quickly. “Hurry! Someone’s calling Kasuka-kun!”

Everybody went back and listened to the conversation. Kasuka had put the phone on the loudspeaker.

“Where’s Ruri?”

_“She’s safe. I promise we treated her well, Hanejima-san.”_

“I want to speak to her.”

_“My apologizes but it’s impossible. Be assured she’s safe and healthy. You will be able to see her soon. It depends on you.”_

“What do you want?”

_“I return the question to you, Hanejima-san: what do you want?”_

“I..don’t understand.”

_“My apologizes again. Let me rephrase the question: who do you want?”_

“W-what?”

_“We’ve got your brother and your girlfriend. The question is: who do you want to save?”_

“H-how..could do…”

_“That’s a simple question, Hanejima-san. Who do you wish to get back?”_

Kasuka was out of words. The choice was so painful. How could he even choose?

“You..do you realize what you’re asking me?”

_“Yes. Such a painful decision but you have to choose or we’ll kill the both of them.”_

“NO!!”

_“Their sort is between your hands, Hanejima-san.”_

“Why? Why do you do this to me? Just..let them go and I’ll do anything you want.”

_“You have ten seconds to decide, Hanejima-san. A the end of the time, if you haven’t made a choice, we’ll take care of them.”_

“How can I be sure you wouldn’t kill them anyway?”

_“I give you my word. Let’s start the countdown : 10…”_

“Wait! Please! I’m’ begging you! I’ll do whatever you want but don’t…”

_“9, 8…”_

“Stop! Please!!”

_“7,6,5…”_

“If you want money, I’ll give whatever you want and…”

_“4,3…”_

“PLEASE! JUST LISTEN TO ME!!”

_“2,1…”_

“STOP!!”

_“So? What’s your decision Hanejima-san?”_

Kasuka tried to calm down but he was completely panicked. The stranger was asking to choose between his family or the person he loved…he couldn’t save the both of them…

“R..Ruri…”

_“So you chose your girlfriend. Farewell. At the end of the call, you’ll receive the exact location where she’s kept. Don’t worry. The place will be secured. No trap, no danger.”_

“Wh..what are you gonna do with my brother?”

_“We’ll take care of him. Don’t worry.”_

“D-don’t..kill him..Please. I’m begging you.”

_“We have no intention to kill your brother, Hanejima-san.”_

“but..you said…”

_“I said if you didn’t make a choice we would kill the both of them but since you took a decision, we won’t.”_

“w-why…”

_“I knew you would choose Hijiribe-san. You never treasured your brother in the past so why would you have done it now?”_

“…”

_“You can come to pick her at this location. Goodbye Hanejima-san.”_

“WAIT!”

But the woman already turned off the phone. Kasuka was torn between pain and anger. He didn’t show it but his body language talked by itself. Few seconds later, he received a message with an address.

“Here it is.”

**_“Let’s go. I’m coming with you_**.” wrote Celty.

Kasane put her cell phone on the table after have ended her call. She turned around and fixed the man behind she was holding tied with her blades.

“Did you hear that, Heiwajima-san?”

The blond looked broken…his dead eyes were fixing the floor sadly, defeated. Of course he had listened to the whole conversation. She had silenced him with some adhesive tape. She walked closer and caressed his chin.

“Now…let’s go back where we stopped.”


	14. Breaking point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting the last chapter i wrote. Now, i have to think about the rest of the story...thanks to have read it until now, for your comments and your kudos, guys. ^_^  
Warning : graphic violence in this chapter...

After the call, Kasuka, Celty, Kadota and his group went to the location where Ruri was supposed to be kept. It was an old abandoned factory, in the south of the city. Celty came in first to be sure there was no danger and when she finished to check everything, they went to free her. The woman had her arms and feet tied. She had an adhesive tape covering her mouth. She was sitting on the ground, back against the wall. She didn’t seem to be hurt, but exhausted.

“Ruri!” Kasuka rushed to her and freed her arms and feet before hugging her tightly. “Ruri…thank God you’re safe. I was so worried…

“Kasuka…” she hugged him back, burying her face in his neck. She felt his gentle hand caressing her hair tenderly.

“I’m here now. It’s ok. I won’t leave your side anymore, I swear.”

From his position, Saburo was restraining himself to not cry. He was so happy to see her safe that he wanted to take her in his arms. But it was hard to forget she was Kasuka’s girlfriend, so he was just happy for her.

“We shouldn’t stay here any longer. Let’s go.” Proposed Kadota.

Everybody agreed and left the old factory. The woman who called them said the truth: they treated her well and there was no trap here.

* * *

Kane went back to home. Kasane had asked him to grab something at the office. When he arrived, he could see the woman drying her hair with a towel. She had just finished her shower. He could also noticed a little wound on her left wrist, so he didn’t need a lot of time to understand she just had sex with Shizuo. He didn’t immediately talk to her and went to the bedroom to see by himself. The blond was lying on the bed naked, covered with blood. He wasn’t moving so he guessed he just passed out. He went back to the living room to join Kasane.

“Had some fun with the bitch without me?”

“Did you bring me what I asked?” she demanded without bothering to answer.

He threw her a plastic bag. She opened it to check and nodded.

“What are you gonna do with that shit?”

“You’ll know soon enough.”

Kane hated when she didn’t answer but he knew he wasn’t in position to complain. “By the way…I saw the boss.”

“And?”

“And…he asked me if we made the deal with the “doc”.”

“…”

“You told him we would kidnap Kishitani, right? Why?”

“If I told him we kidnapped Ruri Hijirbe, he wouldn’t have wanted to let her go.”

“We could have kept her with us, you know? Why did you let her go?”

“Personal reason. Besides, we only used her to get more time and to use her against Hanejima-san.”

“It doesn’t answer me…”

“What did you tell to the boss?”

He looked hesitant but he knew he better told her the truth or she would discover it soon enough. “I didn’t betray you if that’s what you wanna know.” He grinned. “But I could…”

“I called the boss to inform him about Orihara’s case. I told him he wasn’t at home when you came to kidnap Kishitani-san. So since I covered you, I consider we’re even.”

“…”

“Don’t ever mention that again.”

She walked away and joined Shizuo in the bedroom; “I’ll take care of his injuries. Make yourself useful and prepare us some food for the dinner.”

He looked angrily at her but obeyed, cursing mentally.

* * *

Back to home, Ruri had some rest. Since she hadn’t met anyone except her kidnapper, she couldn’t give more information to help the search. Plus, she was extremely tired and still under the shock. Kasuka never left her side until she fell asleep in his arms. Kadota, his friends and the others left. Celty and Shinra were now living almost permanently with other roommates with Kasuka, Ruri and Izaya who was still unconscious.

The doctor had some rest, falling on the sofa heavily.

“Aahh…I’m tired…” he said yawing.

**_“Can I do something to help you?”_** asked Celty with her PDA.

“Oh…well, if you wanna cheer me up, I’d be glad to…” but he didn’t finish his sentence that Celty cut him silencing him with her shadow.

** _“Don’t start with your lewd requests!”_ **

She released him. “Ah…so mean, Celty!” he pouted. But he noticed she wasn’t in the mood for their little games. “Celty? What’s wrong?”

** _“Where is he, Shinra? I know he’s strong but…now I know about his mental disorder, I can’t help to be worried for him…”_ **

“I know. I’m worried too.”

** _“I’m sure they’re hurting him right now…”_ **

“He’s stronger than you think, Celty.”

** _“I’m supposed to be immortal but when I got caught in this woman’s trap, I couldn’t free myself…Shizuo is a human…he may be strong but he remains a human…”_ **

“I’m sorry…” Shinra took her hand.

** _“?”_ **

“I mean…it was because of me that you became crazy and lost your sense of reality chasing after her…”

** _“You didn’t follow her. She kidnapped you! As she kidnapped Shizuo…”_ **

“Yes.” He dragged her hand to his mouth to depose a soft kiss on it. “Be assured that no woman in the world would be able to make me forget you, my lovely Celty. You’re the only one for me.”

Celty was probably blushing right now because she let escape a lot of shadow in the living room.

“I know it’s not the right timing to talk about this so I’ll wait until we find Shizuo but please…”

** _“What?”_ **

“Don’t be mad against Shizuo. It wasn’t his fault. I would have cut your head with or without him, so I’m the only one you should hate…”

After some seconds of silence, she wrote again on her PDA. **_“I’m not mad at him…or at you.”_**

“R-really?”

** _“We’ll talk about this later. Let’s go to bed.”_ **

Shinra smiled and nodded. “Sure.”

In the bedroom, Kasuka couldn’t sleep. He was staring at Ruri’s peaceful face. He was relieved to see her back, but he couldn’t forget his brother was still somewhere, between someone’ s hands.

“I thought she was more fragile than you, Nii-san…forgive me. I didn’t know what to do…Nii-san.” Thought silently Kasuka.

_Several years ago._

_Kasuka and Shizuo usually took the same way to go back home. They used to pass in front of the lady’s store. Shizuo stopped to look at her often until the day she gave them a little bottle of milk. She was worried because she saw often Shizuo hurt, with some bandages. _

_Kasuka remembered his brother’s shyness and the way he always hurried to pass in front of her store. He could see he wanted to see the nice lady. She was the first one who was kind with him…and he liked it. But the day he saw the brutes attacking her, he lost control again and broke everything around him. He even hurt the lady and after that, he was incapable to walk in front of her store again._

_One day, when Shizuo was again at the hospital, Kasuka decided to pass in front of the store. After that incident, he never stopped again to see the lady but today, since Shizuo wasn’t around, he wanted to see if she was alright. She was there, cleaning the store window. She stopped and turned around when she saw in the reflection on the window someone seemed to observe her. She recognized immediately the little boy. _

_“Oh…hello cutie.” She said smiling nervously. _

_He boy just saluted her with his head. _

_“Are you alone today?”_

_“Nii-san is at the hospital.” He replied. _

_“I see…” she didn’t seem to be surprised. “Just a second…” She went inside and went back with a bottle of milk. She gave it to Kasuka smiling. She couldn’t help to find him cute and endearing. _

_ “Try to stay a good boy, ok? Don’t become like your brother.”_

_Kasuka who just took the bottle, fixed her intensely._

_“Nii-san is a good boy.”_

_The lady looked away, still nervous. “Of course… I meant, don’t fight like him…it’s bad to fight…”_

_“But Nii-san helped you the last time against the bullies. He doesn’t like to fight.”_

_“I know…it’s nice of him but…” she didn’t know how to finish her sentence. “Just don’t fight and stay a good boy, ok?”_

_“Are you scared of Nii-san?” asked the little boy._

_She was getting even more nervous. “You know…your brother is strong and…I’m sure he just wanted to help me but…”_

_“Nii-san isn’t a brute.”_

_“I know…”_

_“I don’t like people who don’t like Nii-san.” He gave her back the little bottle and left. _

_The woman looked at him leaving and felt guilty to have hurt the boy’s feelings. It was hard for him to see people judging his brother this way…but it was normal to be afraid when a kid had such a big strength…_

_Kasuka reached the hospital. When he came in his brother’s room, Shizuo was lying on the bed, fixing the ceiling sadly. He was bored…and felt lonely. He didn’t need to turn his head to know that Kasuka just arrived._

_“Kasuka.”_

_“Nii-san. How are you?”_

_“Fine…how was school?”_

_“Good.” The boy went on the bed and lay against his brother’s body. Shizuo looked confused._

_“Kasuka? What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing, Nii-san. Nothing is wrong…” said the kid. “Nothing is wrong with Nii-san” he seemed to think._

_The two children stayed this way until their parents came to visit Shizuo and to pick up Kasuka. _

“I don’t like people who don’t like Nii-san…” repeated Kasuka to himself.

* * *

During the dinner.

Kasane, Kane and Shizuo were having dinner in silence. The blond couldn’t use his hands to eat properly since he broke his bones hitting repetitively the walls. Using chopsticks was extremely difficult and he was fighting to find a way to use it. Kane was smirking seeing him in pain but did nothing except teasing him with his gaze.

“You need help, Heimajima-san.” She gave a look at Kane who nodded. The man got closer, sitting by his side and grabbed his rice bowl.

“I don’t need you!” exclaimed Shizuo furious and glaring at Kane. But the man grabbed his bandaged wrist and squeezed tightly.

“Arg!!” Shizuo winced in pain.

“Let him help you, Heiwajima-san. You need to eat.”

“I said I don’t want his help.”

“It’s not a request.”

Then, Kane put some food in his mouth and pulled Shizuo’s hair out to make him face him. He wanted to feed him with his mouth, which was just inacceptable for the blond who just spat at him.

“I can put you in the cage again, Heiwajima-san. Is that what you want?”

Shizuo remembered the time he had passed there. The simple idea to be left alone with himself was terrorizing him.

“Open your mouth and let him feed you the way he wants.”

After a long period of hesitation, Shizuo reluctantly opened his mouth and let Kane feed him. The man forced the food in his mouth with his tongue and a large amount of saliva. Shizuo was choking hard, containing himself to not vomit again. Each time the man was touching him, he had the irrepressible need to puke…which happened again at the second Kane broke the forced kiss. Shizuo fell on his knees and threw up everything he had tried to swallow.

“Is that’s what I get when I try to be nice with you, bitch?” laughed Kane.

Kasane got up and grabbed something she left on the counter. “Bring him to the bedroom.”

Kane obeyed and dragged Shizuo by the hair into the room. The blond struggled but since he was still a bit dizzy, he didn’t manage to free himself. The more he passed with them, the more he became weaker…and even if in other times, he could have kicked Kane’s ass, he wasn’t in condition to do it anymore.

Kasane joined them. She approached and removed Shizuo’s sleeve to inject something in his arm with a syringe.

“W-what is it?” asked the blond.

“Something which would keep you calm.” She got up and began to strip. After some minutes, she looked at Kane. “Take his clothes off.”

The man obeyed and stripped Shizuo. The blond didn’t realize it until he felt cold. He noticed he couldn’t move anymore.

“wh..what’s happening? I can’t m-move!”

“Good to see this drug is working on you, Heiwajima-san. It’s not easy to restrain you…”

“W..wait! You drugged me?!”

“I used Saika so many times on you that I’m starting to feel the consequences on my body. Besides, you broke some of my blades before and knowing what’s coming, I won’t be able to restrain you anymore. It’s better this way. But don’t worry, you’ll remain perfectly conscious and you’ll feel everything. But you won’t be able to move or react.”

He gave a quick look to Kane who had stripped and had come closer. Now, he got what she meant.

“Wait! No! I…” But she didn’t let him finish that she gagged his mouth to shut him.

Kane went above him and started to attack his nipples with his hands and teeth. Shizuo’s inert body was pretty good for him. He had waited enough to “play” with the blond.

“What’s the point to fight back again, Heiwajima-san? You heard by yourself than everybody gave up on you. Didn’t you recall what your brother said when I asked him whom to choose between you and Ruri?”

Shizuo tried to focus but he was distracted by Kane’s hands touching his body. He suddenly felt his legs got spread apart, exposing his arousal but also his ass…he could feel Kane’s fingers rubbing the soft entrance.

_“N-no..not that…”_ cursed mentally Shizuo.

Kasane moved her mouth to his crotch and began to suck him, blocking the view Shizuo had on Kane. But he could still feel something rubbing against his hole. It didn’t take a long time to understand it wasn’t his fingers anymore but his cock. He was stroking it against his small ring again and again probably to get erected. But after a few minutes, Kasane stopped and removed her mouth to put a cock ring on him.

“_W-what..is it?”_ asked to himself Shizuo until he felt a pressure just above his balls.

“We don’t want you to take pleasure, Heiwajima-san. So you’ll be allowed to come when I’d decide.”

She got up to reach his face. She caressed his cheeks softly before making him lift his torso. She wanted to make him sit.

“In this position, you’d be able to see Kane taking your virginity down there.” She said caressing his entrance with her cold fingers.

The other man was grinning with his usual sadistic smile. He could see Shizuo was terrorized.

“Do you have lube?” asked Kane.

“No. You don’t need it.”

“Suppose I’ll just spit on his hole…” replied Kane but when he was about to put some saliva on Shizuo’s hole, she stopped him.

“Don’t do that.”

“Why? Wanna see me fucking him dry?”

“Yes.”

He grinned, enjoying this idea. “Why not?”

Then, he positioned himself in front of the blond’s entrance and began to put it in roughly. Since Shizuo was incapable to move, he couldn’t resist or squeeze his buttocks. The pressure caused pain and disgust because Kasane was forcing him to look at his defloration. Even if Shizuo tried to keep his eyes on Kane to challenge him, he had to look down or to close his eyes because of the pain. He was struggling mentally and tried to scream…but no sound came out. He wasn’t even allowed to express his distress and his soreness.

“So fucking tight…” complained Kane trying to push it deeper. He could feel his inside tearing apart in each move. Seeing the blond in this vulnerable and painful state was even more exciting. But after few minutes of teasing, he had enough and decided to give it all to Shizuo, pushing his organ deeper roughly, filling his stomach.

“Mhm..hm…” tried to scream Shizuo when he felt completely filled. His eyes were wild open, fixing the ceiling with a shocked expression. He was frozen by the pain.

“Ah! I’m all in…didn’t think your virgin pussy was that tight, Blondie…” sneered Kane, trying to catch his breath.

“Move.” Ordered Kasane.

He started to pull it out before slamming in it again roughly. Shizuo was trembling but couldn’t react. He was forced to endure this. After some seconds of stroking, Kane felt it easier and noticed some blood pouring out of the little hole.

“Guess you were right…we don’t need lube after all…” he joked, fucking the blond raw.

During this time, Kasane was jerking Shizuo’s off with one of her hands and was playing with his left nipple with the other one.

“Does it feel good, Heiwajima-san?”

_“Fucking bitch! Do I look to enjoy this?”_ he seemed to tell her with his eyes.

“Yes you do, judging by your arousal…” she replied even if she hadn’t heard what he said to himself.

Kane grabbed his hips and fucked him harder and faster. They could hear his balls slamming against Shizuo’s ass in each move. The pain turned into nausea again and Shizuo was shaking hard, swallowing his vomit back since he was gagged.

“I’m close…” moaned Kane.

“Shoot inside.”

“_No! Not..inside_!!” begged mentally Shizuo. No one would hear him anyway…but it was just a reflex. _“Take it out…it hurts..it hurts so much…”_

“Here we go, bitch! Drink it all…” Kane fucked him harder during the last moves until he reached the orgasm and came inside. Shizuo felt something gushing inside and felt sicker, closing his eyes.

_“D-disgusting..hurts..”_ his mind was out of control, imploring someone to help him. _“I’m..b-burning..inside..someone..anyone..help me…”_

Kane made a pause, keeping his hard cock inside, and took this opportunity to admire the blond mental and physical agony.

“Looks like you’re having fun, here…” he said touching Shizuo’s hard organ.

“I think he’ll need another round.” Said Kasane.

“I’d be glad to give it to him.” Kane grabbed Shizuo’s hair and made him turn on his stomach. He was now lying on his knees, ass in the air, ready for his rapist. Kane forced his way in again and put his hands on his buttocks to get a better position and access.

“So fucking good…” moaned Kane loudly. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to hurt Shizuo even more…so he began to spank his ass. At the beginning, it was just a light slap, like foreplay, but hearing the blond stifled cries made him crueler, and he started to hit hard the skin which became red pretty quick. Kane was strong so he knew his touch would be everything but gentle.

Kasane was just looking at them in silence. She could imagine what Shizuo was enduring right now and she guessed it wouldn’t take a lot of time to break him soon. Just few sessions like this one and he would be broken.

_“Make him stop…please..anyone…help me…”_ thought Shizuo, trying desperately to get rid of this living nightmare. _“Are you there?”_ he was calling this voice he hated so much usually, but didn’t find it. “_Fuck! Don’t leave me this way and talk to me!!”_ But no one answered. He was alone this time. _“Please…anyone..anyone..make him stop…”_

Kane was now pushing himself deeper and was squeezing Shizuo’s neck from behind to force his entire weight inside. The pressure left bruises everywhere. He even could hear some bones cracking when he had held him by the hips to fuck him senseless. Shizuo had stopped eating normally and since Kane was causing him nausea each time he touched him, he had thrown up more than once which made him become thinner.

“Wanna see your face while I’m pounding this slutty ass of yours…” said groaning Kane, forcing Shizuo to turn around on his right hip. Kane took his left leg and put it on his shoulder, spreading the other one to have a better access.

Shizuo was exhausted; he was crying and shaking…he had thrown up despite the fact he was gagged and some of the vomit impregnated the tissue in his mouth. Then, he felt Kasane’s hand on his hard cock again.

“Are you giving up, Heiwajima-san?”

_“Release me…please…”_ he seemed to beg her with his eyes.

“Whatever you pretend, you like this.”

“You little masochist…” joked Kane slamming his ass harder moving his hips. He took his hard cock Kasane was stroking with his hand and did the same thing, until he decided to have more fun pushing his index inside his urethra.

_“The little…s-son of bitch!! I’ll fucking k-kill you!!”_ cursed again mentally Shizuo.

The finger went in and out repetitively, made him the blond sicker than he was already.

“Alright, let him come.”

“Already?” asked Kane disappointed.

“It doesn’t mean you’re done with him. Feel free to fuck him as long as you want. But let him come once. You’ll see how much he likes it when I’ll take the ring off.”

Kane nodded and removed his finger. Kasane brushed his hair tenderly and took off the cock ring slowly.

“What do you imagine he would think about you, seeing you this way, Heiwajima-san?”

Shizuo closed his eyes and saw a familiar smile. A smile which used to reassure him. But now, the smile was different…

_“I..Izaya…”_

The smile was vanishing slowly. It wasn’t the same face, the same apparent teeth…the same expression…it wasn’t Izaya’s smile, but Kane’s one.

_“N-No..don’t leave me..he..hurt..me..it’s not what..i want…”_

**“Then, why are you so hard? Why do you enjoy yourself that much?”** asked his familiar voice.

_“H-he’s raping me…I don’t..like this…”_

**“He’s not the one you want?”**

_“N-no…Izaya is..the one..i want…”_

_“_**But you’ve got “him” now. He’s not raping you, you asked for this. So enjoy!”** replied the voice. “Him” was no one else than Kane since it was his smile which Shizuo saw and not Izaya’s one anymore.

_“Izaya! Don’t leave me…”_

Brought back to the present, Shizuo finally opened his eyes and saw his rapist’s face, still pounding his ass senseless.

“Come and show me how you like it, bitch!” said Kane when Kasane took off the cock ring.

Then, he got released after minutes, maybe hours of torture and restrain. He came a lot while Kane was still fucking him.

_“Cummin…cumming again..i can’t stop…”_ he moaned mentally, lost in the lust. “_More..i want more…”_

He wanted to be ravaged even more he was already, it didn’t matter who was doing him, as long as it didn’t stop.

_“Give me more…a lot more…”_

Kane grabbed his throat and pinned him harder against the bed, filling his stomach with his load. Shizuo was no longer healthy mentally to understand what was going on…

Kasane took off the wet and dirty tissue in his mouth. “Is there anything you want to say, Heiwajima-san?”

Kane had put it out of his bloody and moist ass, recovering his breath. Shizuo was dizzy, lost and sick. He was still incapable to move. He had given his body to Kane since he got an orgasm…he responded to him…

“M-mo..”

“What?” asked Kasane. “Speak louder Heiwajima-san.”

“M-m..more…” murmured Shizuo.

Kane smirked. “I’ll spoil you a lot more…don’t worry for that, Blondie.”

Then, he grabbed his hips again and fucked him during the entire night. Shizuo never made a move and obeyed to his master’s orders…calling his name and asking other obscene things; sometimes, he got hit, other times, he got sick and threw up again…but at the end of the night, he was no longer the same. Not entirely broken, but close, very close to the end.

* * *

Kasuka woke up before Ruri. He didn’t make any noise and left the room. He prepared a coffee in the kitchen and fed the little cat. He went on the balcony and observed the city. He got distracted in his thoughts by some steps.

** _“Kasuka-kun. Morning.”_ **

“Celty-san. Good morning. Did I wake you up?”

** _“No. Don’t worry. I’m a light sleeper…”_ **

“I see. Thanks for your help. Kishitani-san is a true friend for Nii-san…the same as you.”

“…” she looked confused.

“Don’t blame yourself Celty-san. If someone has to feel guilty to have abandoned Nii-san, it’s me…”

** _“Don’t say that.”_ **

“I could have saved him, Celty-san. But…I didn’t.”

** _“She wouldn’t have freed Shizuo. It was just a trap.”_ **

“It’s not the first time I let my brother down…”

Celty recalled something. **_“Hey…now you mention this, do you remember what she said?”_**

“What?”

** _“She seemed to know about you and Shizuo. I mean, she told you that you never treasured your brother or something like that…”_ **

“Yes. I remember now.”

** _“Why did she say that? I thought you never spoke to anyone about Shizuo’s mental problems?”_ **

“I didn’t.”

** _“So how could she know anything?”_ **

“Maybe…Orihara-san told her?”

** _“But if it’s the same woman, I mean Kasane Kujiragi, Izaya fought against her and the man last time…”_ **

“I don’t understand…”

Celty wanted to make him feel better but she knew it was hard considering what he had done to save Ruri.

** _“It was a painful choice, Kasuka-kun, but I’m sure Shizuo wouldn’t have wanted to see you choosing him over the person you love.”_ **

“When did I ever care about Nii-san? I saw him in pain so many times…but I never did anything.”

** _“Were you that scared of him?”_ **

“…” Kasuka took the time to think before answering. “Yes…but not for myself.”

** _“?”_ **

“I was scared…to make him hurt himself more…I tried to think about a way to help him but…”

** _“What do you mean?”_ **

“I thought talking to him, or telling to our parents…or stopping him when he was hurting himself…but I was scared to see him run away from me. Nii-san is proud. He wouldn’t have let me see him so weak…he would have run away…”

**_“Yes you’re right…” _**Celty noticed something different in Kasuka’s words.

“In the end, I preferred to see my brother in pain by my side rather than away from me and safe…”

** _“You really love your brother, Kasuka-kun.”_ **

“If I really loved him, I would have done something…I was the one here who ran away, but…”

** _“But?”_ **

“But I know I couldn’t have done anything to help him. He doesn’t make me feel less guilty but it’s the truth…”

** _“Why do you think only Izaya could have helped him? You said that earlier…”_ **

“There’s something similar in Orihara-san. I don’t think he has some mental disorders…”

Celty showed him his PDA. “**_It’s debatable…”_**

“Well, you know what I mean. Orihara-san may be a bad person but I don’t think he suffered mentally as Nii-san did…”

** _“So what is similar between them?”_ **

“I don’t know. I suppose he understood him for a certain reason…he probably shares something with Nii-san.”

** _“It’s hard for me to see Izaya helping Shizuo for his own good.”_ **

“I’m not sure it was his goal to begin with, or maybe yes, who knows? But I just want to see the positive effects it had on my brother…”

** _“All this mess is so crazy…”_ **

“I know…but I’m glad Nii-san has such good friends like you, Kishitani-san, Tanaka-san and everybody…”

** _“Don’t forget you have a special place in his life, Kasuka-kun.”_ **

“…”

** _“Your brother loves you more than you can imagine. He really treasures you and he would hate to see you blaming yourself this way.”_ **

“I don’t think I deserved Nii-san…”

** _“When we’ll find him, we’ll take care of him. You will tell him how you feel.”_ **

“I know we’ll find him, Celty-san. But the question is : how bad will he be when we’ll find him?”

** _“He’s strong. He may be fragile mentally but he’s stronger than you think. Believe in him.”_ **

“I want to believe in your words, Celty-san…”

** _“Then, have faith in him. We’ll help him. It will take as long as it takes but we’ll help him to get better.”_ **

* * *

A week passed. Kane and Kasane continued to torture Shizuo. The blond had stopped to protest or to fight against Kane, even if he was still glaring at him or insulting him. Each day looked at the same: Shizuo woke up by Kane’s abuse, feeling his body touched. He would just obey to end this quickly and when the man started to get on his nerves, he would be drugged again to be restrained. Kasane was practically stayed out of this much of the time to observe them or tease Shizuo’s mental state. Later in the day, Kane would request a blowjob or something else from Shizuo. Sometimes, he would just put his pants down and would pin him against the wall or the table to fuck him senseless without never preparing him with his fingers first. Shizuo would throw up and collapsed right away after the abuse, letting Kasane the care to treat his injuries.

After the lunch, Kane had raped Shizuo again and had for once decided to give him a bath before letting him rest in the bed. After have done that, he joined Kasane in the living room.

“Do you think it would be long again before he breaks?”

“Why do you ask? You seem to enjoy this.” Replied Kasane.

“I do. I have to admit his body is pretty good…but I broke his ribs again earlier fucking him. I don’t think his body is gonna endure this longer…”

“Yes. I didn’t think he would have those reactions with you.”

“What reaction?”

“Throwing up every time you touch him. He never did that with me.”

This remark seemed to annoy him. “Then why did you request my help? If you want to break him faster, just throw him in the cage and wait!”

“The goal here isn’t to kill him physically. If I had let him in the cage, he would have died. We want to control him, that’s why we need to break his soul.”

“Do you really think he will obey us after that?”

“He’s already starting to obey you, doesn’t he?”

“You’ve got a point. But what is the point to control him anyway? He’s just an ordinary man…a strong one but just a man.”

“You never saw him fight.”

“I did. And I’m sure I could kick his ass.”

“The fact you have been able to fuck him doesn’t mean you would defeat him so easily. In fact, he would have crushed your skull with one hand if he was in a healthily state.”

“Bullshit.”

“Anyway, if I have to give a percent of his mental state now, I would say…10%.”

“10%?”

“He’s 10% sane. We’re almost done. So we have 10% left to destroy before he’s completely broken.”

“I see.”

She got up. “We’ll end this soon.”

At the end of the day, Shizuo, Kasane and Kane had dinner. Shizuo became quieter and thinner each passing day. This time, Kane didn’t disturb him during his meal. He needed to get some food to have energy.

After the dinner, Kasane left. She gave some instructions to Kane. He had to wait for her call and he was allowed to play with Shizuo. She also let him the drug in the case of he would restrain him. But Shizuo was no longer in condition to fight or to run away.

After Kasane’s departure, Shizuo was about to go back to his room when Kane grabbed his arm and dragged him on the sofa with him.

“Where are you going like that, Blondie?”

“I want to rest. Let go.”

“Who said you could rest? I want to “play”.”

Shizuo knew what was coming and tried to ignore his request to get up but the man dragged his body against his, making him press his back against his torso. Since the last time Shizuo bit him, he knew he should be careful so he injected him the drug to make him calm.

“N-no! Not again…” protested Shizuo feeling his body becoming weaker.

“Not my fault if you’re so insatiable, Blondie…”

“Fuck off…you just want to torture me, son of bitch!”

“I don’t deny it. You don’t know how good your body is.” he started to strip Shizuo slowly.

Shizuo remained quiet and stopped protesting. Feeling the bastard raping him was painful enough. He didn’t want to hear him talking all along.

“Well, it’s true I’ve been a bit rough with you…not like you hated it…” teased the man stroking Shizuo’s cock. “So tonight, I’ll gentle. I’ll prepare you properly…”

Then, he pushed his fingers in Shizuo’s mouth and made him lick it. When it became wet enough, he spread his legs and rubbed the soft area, covering the little ring with saliva. The gentle touch made Shizuo shivering, and disgusted him even more than when Kane was rough with him. He contained himself to not puke again or he would make him mad at him.

“You’re twitching there, Blondie…” then without a warning, he pushed one finger inside. He didn’t wait any longer to add another one and then a third finger. He began to stretch the small passage, not gently.

“You want more?” asked Kane, whispering to Shizuo’s ear. The blond was biting his bottom lip to not moan or cry.

Kane added another finger and pushed it deeper. He reached his good spot when he heard Shizuo moaning.

“AAHh!!”

“There it is! Your good spot.” Then, he slammed his fingers in and out hitting Shizuo’s prostate again and again.

“Let’s add more fun…” The man added another finger. Now he had pushed his whole hand except the thump. “I’m not here to make you feel good, Blondie…” Then, he added his thump and fisted him savagely, pushing his whole hand deeper. There was no pleasure anymore, but just pain and humiliation.

“S-stop…it..” groaned Shizuo, trying to contain his cries.

“No way I’d stop. I’m having fun…”

Even if Shizuo hated it, he realized soon enough his body was saying the exact opposite. His cock was twitching, and without he even had the time to focus, he came on his stomach.

“Such a whore…coming from your ass without having your dick touched…” joked Kane. He was about to play more with his blond, when he received a call. He complained but took his fist out.

“What?”

_“Put him in the car and join me at the address I just sent you.”_

“Can’t it wait?”

“_No. I’m waiting for you_.” Kasane hung up the phone without letting him the time to answer.

“My, my…fun is over for now. We have to move.”

* * *

After one hour driving, Kane finally reached the place Kasane gave to him. Shizuo was in the back seat of the car, still giddy by the drug and the last abuse of his body. When the car stopped, Kane went out first before meeting Kasane outside. They were in middle of nowhere, in an abandoned building.

“So? What now?”

“We’ll end this tonight. If it doesn’t work, we’ll just kill him.”

“Fine for me.”

“Bring him inside.”

He nodded and went back to the car to pull Shizuo’s body out. He carried him on his shoulder as a big bag and followed Kasane inside of the building. The blond looked around him, still incapable to move. He recognized the place…

_“it’s…where I fought against…Izaya_…” he said to himself.

Kane threw him abruptly on the ground. Shizuo’s head hit hard the cold floor.

“Do you remind this place, Heiwajima-san?” asked Kasane moving closer.

“…” he didn’t reply but kept his eyes on her.

“Of course you remember.” She walked away. “You probably wonder why I brought you here…it’s simple: I want to show you what you did…” She turned around and faced Kane. “Put him on his stomach.”

Kane nodded and pulled Shizuo’s hair out to make him roll on his stomach. He forced him to lift his head to be sure he would see Kasane.

“It was an epic fight. You against Orihara-san.”

She opened a metal locker. An inert corpse fell on the floor face against the cold surface. Shizuo blinked when he saw the familiar black clothes, the fur black jacket, the black rings around the thin fingers…the black short hair…

“n-no…it’s..no..n-not him…” he whispered, shaking.

“Don’t you recognize him, Heiwajima-san?”

“it’s..n-not Izaya…it’s can’t..be him…”

“Why do you think that?”

“I..fought with him…in the streets...of Ikebukuro. I saw..him leaving..the building…and I ran after…him…it’s…not him…”

“You’re wrong, Heiwajima-san. Oriahara-san died here.” She removed the fur hood and lifted the face of the inert body to make him see. “Look. Don’t you recognize his face?”

“I..Iza..ya…” blinked Shizuo. It was him. His face, his thin lips…his piercing but dead eyes…it was him for sure. “N-no!! It’s a lie!! He..he can’t be dead!! It’s a lie! I’m dreaming…” protested Shizuo, trying to move.

Kasane threw something to Kane. “Put it around your cock.”

Kane looked at the small thing. It was a sort of studded bracelet to wrap. He laughed seeing it. “Such a vicious woman you are…”

She dragged the body next to her by the hair to make him face Shizuo; the blond wanted to run away but his legs and his entire body refused to move. He didn’t notice than during this time, Kane had pushed his pants and boxer down, exposing his ass.

“It’s a good thing I fisted you before coming here…” said Kane positioning himself in front of the stretched entrance, and thrust in without warning.

“AAAARGGGHH!!!” screamed Shizuo feeling his inside tearing apart. “STOP! STOP!!!”

Kasane Forced Shizuo to look at the body she was holding by the hair. “Look closer, Heiwajima-san. Remember the way you hurt him…the way you broke his jaw, the way you broke his two arms…”

“STOP! LET ME GO!!” he could see the corpse had a large bruise on the jaw. His arms seemed to be dislocated. Plus, he couldn’t forget Kane was raping him, hurting his inside. He could feel he was bleeding severely…

“THIS IS WRONG! IT’S NOT IZAYA!!”

“You know it’s him. Look closer, Heiwajima-san…”

Shizuo tried to look away but he was forced to face them. He looked at Kasane. This man…he looked like Izaya…it was true he hit him this way…but it wasn’t in this place. Besides, when Vorona hit him with her knife, he was still alive. He checked the man’s hip and saw a large wound.

“This is where Izaya got stabbed…”

“He died here…he was already condemned before meeting you again in the streets and got stabbed.”

“N-no! It’s..it’s impossible!!”

_“Just do it, monster_.” Izaya’s voice was resonating in his head. “_Do it monster.”_

“no..No…Izaya..no..I..I didn’t want to…”

The countdown started: 9%

“St..op..please..enough…” But Kane didn’t listen. He was determined to ravage his body until there was nothing left of him. Shizuo still had some broken ribs which hurt him in each move.

8% .

The effects of the drug started to vanish, but he was so hurt that he wasn’t in condition to react. Facing Izaya’s body was his worst nightmare.

“I..Izaya…Izaya…” called Shizuo crying and crying again.

He suddenly felt Kane coming deep inside, which made him throw up again.

6%.

“I..Izaya…”

Kane put it out quickly. His organ was covered of blood and semen. He cleaned himself with Shizuo’s shirt and joined Kasane. The woman let Izaya’s body fall on the floor, next to Shizuo.

5%.

“Izaya…I..I..didn’t want…to..” Shizuo crawled to reach his hand.

Kasane just looked at him, knowing the end was close. “That’s what you did, Heiwajima-san. You can’t go back in the past. You killed him.”

“No..Izaya…”

4%.

He finally reached his side and moved his shaking hand close to Izaya’s face. He could feel the coldness of his skin.

“I..Izay..”

3%.

The bruise in his jaw recalled him the way he broke it in one hit. “I’m..a monster…”

2%. 

He grabbed his hand, holding it. _“Don’t abandon me…I’ll join you soon_, _just wait for me…please_” Thought Shizuo. He was sure he was about to die soon. He had no strength anymore, no desire to live…

1%.

Kasane made a sign to Kane who came closer. The man put a knee on the floor and gave a last look at Shizuo, grinning before raising his fist in the air. Shizuo closed his eyes, ready to be hit deathly. He heard a loud and horrible noise of cracking bones, gushing blood…but he didn’t feel any pain. He felt a cold liquid splashing against his face and when he opened his eyes, all he could see was blood: skull cracked, one eye popped…Kane had literally broken in pieces Izaya’s head. 

0%.

“IIIIIIIIIZZZZZZAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Shizuo, desperate. He managed to move but faint face against the ground.

Kasane pulled his hair and noticed he was still conscious. But his eyes were dead…Shizuo was alive physically but dead mentally.

“It’s done. He’s broken.”

* * *

At Shinra and Celty’s place, in the bedroom.

It was late in the night. Everybody was sleeping. Even the city got quieter…in this heavy silence, the brunette was moving his fingers. He began to feel his body. Then, he opened slowly his eyes…the only thing he could see was the ceiling, but in his mind, there was one single name…a certain person that he swore he could feel all the distress right now…

“Shizu-chan…”


	15. Someone else

Izaya was feeling better, but he could still feel the pain in his back.

_“It’s because of this bitch! I should have been more careful…”_ he looked for his phone and checked how time it was. He took his clothes on without making any noise and grabbed his belongings: his jacket, his shoes, his wallet, his knives and…the little notebook Kasuka had given to him. Of course he already read it…and he wasn’t surprised at all to have found this…

He got up slowly and walked to the exit carefully. He checked the corridor and found the living room empty; he sighed in relief and left the place quickly. He knew at the second they would hear the door, they would know he was awake so he ran as fast as he could.

He walked and arrived in the empty streets of Ikebukuro. Except some gangs, there was practically no one. As always, Izaya had lost none of his agility or his intuition. He noticed he was followed, so he hid in a dark alley to drag his stalker in a trap. He waited, but he saw nobody…and after a few seconds, he heard a noise behind him and threw a knife without seeing his enemy.

“Celty.” Said Izaya when he recognized her black shadow.

** _“Where did you plan to leave like this, Izaya?”_ **

“Worried for me my dear Dullahan?”

** _“Shinra and Saki took care of you the whole time. You left without telling us. It’s unfair.”_ **

“My, my…Celty. You know I’m a despicable and unfaithful person…”

“…” she seemed to hesitate. She wanted to ask more, but she didn’t know how Izaya would react.

“What?”

She shook her head. “**_Nothing…just be careful_**.” She left without waiting for another question.

Izaya looked at her leaving, wondering why she became suddenly so “silent”. He shrugged and went back to his home. He would deal with her later.

When he arrived in his home, he took the time to check if everything was there. He had stayed unconscious during several weeks because of Vorona. He needed to use his connections. He had lost a precious time…

He took his phone and called someone who could definitely help him.

“Shiki-san. Long time no see.”

_“Orihara? So you’re finally back?”_

“Yeah. It took me a long time.”

_“So?”_

“Can we meet? For once, I need information.”

_“At the usual place. In three hours.”_

“Good. See you later.”

He hung up the phone and sat in his armchair. He felt the little notebook in his pocket and took it. Most of the pages were torn or scribbled. But he could still read some words, especially one…Izaya. He read the first pages again and again.

_“I was angry. I don’t know what happened…I was really angry…I told Kasuka to not eat my pudding but he did it and I hate when he does that…I was mad…and I don’t know how I did it but now, I’m scared…I don’t want to hurt Kasuka. I didn’t want to…I’m always angry. I can’t control myself…I’m scared to do something bad again.”_

_“I made a nightmare. I was killing Kasuka hitting him with my fists. He was bleeding…and I hit him until he wasn’t moving anymore. I’m scared. I would never do that but…if I dreamed that, does it mean I can do it? It was just a stupid dream.. a stupid dream.”_

_“I made another nightmare. I was yelling at Kasuka for my pudding and he didn’t react. I got mad again and I slapped his face. But I hurt him so much that his mouth was bleeding…he was on the floor and started to cry. I hit him again and he begged me to stop…I didn’t stop and I heard a voice saying “do it monster!” and I woke up.” _

_“I don’t want to sleep. I will dream again. I don’t want to. But I’m tired. Kasuka is sleeping. I would never hurt him…but I tried the other day. I love him. He’s my brother. Does he still love me too? Should I ask him?”_

_“I didn’t sleep last night. I’m tired. But I mustn’t fall asleep. But now I’m angry. It’s weird…I’ve always the impression someone calls my name but when I look around I see nobody…”_

_“I wanna sleep…but I can’t. I don’t want to dream again.”_

_“I heard the voice again. I fell asleep just five minutes…maybe more. The voice said the same thing again: “you’re not a boy, you’re a monster.” I can’t stop thinking about this. It drives me crazy.”_

_ “The voice is still talking. When I sleep, I can hear it louder…and it sounds like my own voice.”_

_“It never stops! I hate the voice!! What can I do to make it stop?!”_

_“Don’t want to go to school. They laughed at me again yesterday…I beat them. Mom told me I have to go. I heard they insulted Kasuka yesterday. I’ll beat them again. The director called mom and dad…dad was angry. But the voice told me I did right…I wanna tell mom about the voice…but people would think I’m crazy…”_

_“The nice lady of the store is back to work…when I saw her with Kasuka, she was cleaning the rumbles from the last time…when I kicked their ass. She was hurt…I saw bandages around her arm and she was walking with a crutch…She must hate me now…”_

_“The voice…is still talking to me…my head hurts all the time…I don’t wanna hear it again…but it never stops…”_

_“My head hurts…I can’t stand it anymore…the voice..I hate it!”_

_“I hit my head against the wall. The voice didn’t stop…I hit hard…until I broke the wall…now it hurts…but the voice stopped…”_

_“I went to the swimming pool with Kasuka today…people looked at us weirdly…I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t…so we left…Kasuka wanted to stay but he followed me…without complaining…I’m sorry Kasuka…”_

Izaya skipped some pages and read another one. It was easy to understand how Shizuo became like this. After the incident with Kasuka, he probably suffered from a post traumatic disorder and developed guiltiness, then paranoia. He had nightmares and to avoid it, he began to stop sleeping. The lack of sleep made him angrier, frustrated, paranoiac, and he definitely started to develop mental disorders like schizophrenia. The voice he was hearing was his own, and to stop it, he hurt himself. 

_“First day in Raira academy. I met Shinra. It’s nice to see him…I saw his “girlfriend”…I didn’t see her face but she looked cool with her black clothes and her bike…”_

_“I saw someone upstairs when I arrived…a student probably…black short hair…he was looking at people through the window with a big smile…he looked at me…I felt weird…”_

_“Someone mocked my hair today. He said I looked like a scarecrow…and I beat him…the voice told me I was right…I can’t make it stop…each time I hear the voice, it makes me angrier…I can’t control myself and…it’s even worse every passing day…”_

_“The voice talked to me again this morning. I couldn’t make it stop…I knew I would cause troubles again so I skipped school…but I couldn’t calm down. The voice kept talking and talking again to say those stupid things…I wanted to make it stop…so I did something bad…I can’t swim good…I wanted to drown…I don’t want to die…just to shut this bloody voice in my head…I got scared when I couldn’t breathe anymore so I came up for air…the voice laughed at me.”_

_“I met the student again; he was with Shinra this time…he clapped his hands to congratulate me when I beat the whole football team…his name is Izaya…Orihara Izaya…”_

_“I fucked up…I said I didn’t like him…and I got mad when he called me Shizuo-kun…I tried to hit him but he avoided my blow and he sliced my chest with his knife…He’s strong..Izaya is very strong. I didn’t need to get angry for this…I tried to hit him first. I deserved it…”_

_“I ran after him to have my revenge…but he’s fast…faster than me…I didn’t look around and a truck hit me…I looked after him in the whole city until I found him at Shinra’s place…Izaya…he really gets on my nerves…”_

_“Izaya…”_

_“Izaya…it’s him again…”_

_“This is his fault! Everybody is after me because of him! I know it’s him!!! Izaya!!”_

_“I hate him! I hate him!!!”_

_“I’m a liar…”_

_“The voice always comes back when Izaya is not around…”_

_“I say I hate him…but…I hate the voice more than him…I prefer fighting with him rather than fighting with myself…”_

_“Izaya isn’t here today…school is calm…my head hurt again…I hit myself crashing my head against the wall…I came to Shinra to not come back home with blood on my forehead…nobody would be surprised anymore…I always come back to home with bruises…they would think I fought again…it’s ok…”_

_“Izaya is still missing…I want see him back…”_

_“I fought again today…I didn’t realize my wrist was bleeding…until I collapsed in the streets. I’ve lost a lot of blood…”_

_“If Izaya doesn’t come back soon, I’ll become crazy…well, I know I’m already crazy but…I mean, I’ll do something bad again…”_

_“One week without seeing him…I tried again…and I failed again…I just broke my left leg and my left hip in the fall…”_

_“Back to school…and he was there. What a relief! I thought I would have to support this fucking voice again…but he’s back now…I can breathe.”_

_“I received a letter today…me! A love letter!! She made me promise to read it after the lunch…I can’t wait to read it!!”_

_“I fucked up again…I fought with the baseball team…the captain was the brother of the girl who gave me the letter…now, she’s avoiding me…she wasn’t my type anyway…but I wanted to know what it feels to have a girlfriend…”_

_“Valentine ’s Day…fucking great! I didn’t receive letters or chocolates…well, it was predictable... everybody got someone, even this stupid Shinra…I ended alone again… I watched a porn movie today…it was a bad movie anyway…don’t like big breast…and the actress was too loud…”_

_“I wonder if Izaya is single…no…he wouldn’t. He’s not..he’s so…”_

_“We fought again with Izaya…”_

_“I’m ridiculous…the only way I found to spend time with him is…fighting…”_

_“Fight…fight…I’m tired…I hate violence…why don’t they believe me when I say that? Maybe because this is the only thing I can do right?”_

_“Izaya wasn’t there today…I skipped school. The voice came back and told me I would always be alone…because who could support to be with someone like me? It was stupid but for the first time I replied…and I thought maybe…maybe Izaya could?”_

_“He would never love me…would never even consider things…not that I don’t understand why…it’s not like I loved him or…”_

_“I watched a gay porn movie today…It was strange…the voice laughed at me saying I was really desperate…well, it’s true, but is it a crime to fantasize?”_

_“Someone called Izaya “son of bitch” today…I got angry…and I threw a garbage can over him…he never saw it coming.”_

_“Something strange happened today…my chest was bleeding, at the exact place where Izaya hurt me when we first met…I read somewhere that a wound would still bleeding if we didn’t find peace…or something like that…I don’t remember exactly…”_

_“My chest bled again…I had to put another bandage…and I don’t want to ask Shinra…he would tease me…”_

_“Izaya came back today. We fought again…Hajime stopped me. I respect him so I didn’t protest. He’s the only one who ever succeeded to catch Izaya…and the only one who is capable of standing up to me…”_

_“Hajime interfered again and let Izaya escape. He forbade me to run after him…”_

_“Izaya…I saw him walking in the streets so I ran to him. He noticed me and he avoided me again…this time, Simon stopped us and he brought us in the restaurant…but it was…nice..fuck! I’m so stupid…”_

Izaya stopped reading the notebook. Shizuo had written what he thought as if he was confessing his deepest thoughts to himself…and since he was too ashamed to actually talk to someone, he didn’t have any other choice…Izaya could feel his loneliness, his shame…he let escape a small smile but not a evil one…

“You have a tormented soul, Shizu-chan…”

* * *

Few days later.

Yodogiri had convoked his coworkers. After the last events, he had stopped to hide from the Awakusu-Kai and other groups. Kasane had told him she had succeeded.

“Boss? What’re the orders?” asked a man.

“We’re waiting for Kujiragi -san. She’s on the road.”

The man nodded and went back to his chair. After half an hour, Kasane finally arrived. A tall man with brown hair was following her.

“Took you a long time to arrive.”

“My apologies, Sir.” She bowed.

“So?”

She turned around and mentioned the man behind her. “Heiwajima-san is ready, Sir. He’s waiting for your orders.”

The brunette looked as emotionless as Kasane. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. He just bowed and remained quiet. The old man looked suspicious.

“Is it really ok to trust him?”

“You can check by yourself giving him a mission.”

“I’ve got some idea to test his trust. If you told me the truth, I think the Awakusu-Kai will have troubles very soon.”

“So? What’s your request, Sir?” she asked.

“There’s no way I’ll let him work alone. Five men with him and go to Shinjuku. I want you to bring me back something…”

Shizuo didn’t speak and followed the five men in silence.

* * *

Somewhere in Ikebukuro.

Izaya had arrived in advance. He was waiting in an alley when he saw the familiar car stopping a few meters away. He reached the car and came in before the driver left the place without waiting.

“You look good, Orihara. How are your injuries?”

“Fine, I guess. Thanks for your concern Shiki-san.”

“It would be terrible for us to lose our informant broker.”

“So nice of you…” said with sarcasm Izaya.

“Let’s get back to work. So?”

“I stayed in a coma during a long time. I wasted a precious time. One question: Is Heiwajima still alive?”

“Yes.” Shiki gave him some pictures. He could see Kasane with a tall man with brown hair following her. “I suppose he’s working for Yodogiri now.”

“I will check this information. But the fact he’s with them doesn’t mean he’s working for them…or at least not with his entire consent.”

“You know Heiwajima better than anyone. Who could make him doing something against his consent?”

_“Himself…”_ thought Izaya.

Shiki smirked. “I didn’t know you got attached to him that way, Orihara.”

Izaya took his usual poker face grinning. “The bad always needs the good to exist, you know?”

“You don’t seriously consider yourself as “the good”, here, right?”

“Ah! Ah! Shiki-san is so mean…”

“That’s your problem anyway. I don’t care. My only goal is to destroy Yodogiri.”

“I know. But I need your word for something.”

“My word? And what do I have in exchange of this?”

“I’ll give you what you want in time. Just give me your word.”

Shiki took a cigarette. “I can’t promise anything, Orihara. But I’ll do my best.”

“That’s not enough. Did I ever give you false information?”

“No. but don’t imagine I trust you.”

“Me neither. But we both want the same thing.”

“Not for the same reasons…even if I wonder what yours can be…”

“I thought you didn’t care?”

“I don’t. But if it interferes in my business, I’ll care. Considering the situation, it’s more than obvious it’s going to interfere.”

“I know. I’ll give you something in exchange for now.” Izaya held him a document.

Shiki took the piece of paper and checked it quickly. “Are you sure about this?”

“Do I need to answer?” replied Izaya raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t think so.” Shiki put the document in his pocket. “You have my word.”

“Thank you.” Then, Izaya left the car at the second Shiki asked to his driver to stop. He didn’t bother to say goodbye and disappeared in the streets fast.

Just at the end of the meeting, Shiki received a phone call.

“Hello?”

_“You have to go back to the headquarters immediately.”_

“What’s wrong Akabayashi-san?”

_“It seems like Yodorigi sent his men to attack us.”_

“Do we have loss?”

_“Ten men hurt. No dead.”_

“Do you have a name?”

_“I do. Come meet us. We’ll talk about it.”_

“I’m coming.” Shiki hung up his phone and gave the order to head back to the driver. “Seems like we’re running out time…”

* * *

The information spread fast. Everybody already knew that the Awakusu-kai had been attacked. Shinra had been called to do something for the men hurt. He arrived one hour later after the attack. The neighborhood looked like in war with several cars and men controlling every move.

“Kishitani-sensei. Thanks for coming.”

Shinra bowed and followed the guard. When he came in the house, he could see the whole mess the attack caused: broken windows, rumble, blood everywhere…

“How many men are injured?”

“About ten.”

“Whoa! Bullet, knife wounds?”

“No. They’ve got beaten pretty bad.”

When Shinra arrived, he saw the men lying on the floor, covered of blood and injuries. Some of them looked more seriously injured than the others so he took care of them first. The first man had his jaw, nose and mouth completely broken, which meant someone hit him pretty hard. He was also incapable to breathe normally because of his broken ribs. The second one had broken cervical. He wasn’t in condition to get up since his left leg was also broken and almost in piece. Shinra wondered how he could even still feel it when the bones were barely standing together…for the rest of them, the more serious they got were head trauma, broken legs, arms or ribs…sometimes both. But they needed surgery and rest.

During this time, Akabayashi was talking with his underlings and was waiting for Shiki. The other man finally arrived.

“Shiki-san.”

“Sorry for the late. So?”

“We called Kishitani-sensei. He’s with our men.”

“What happened?”

“According to the “survivors”, six men barged into the quarters and when our guys went to stop them, they got attacked.”

“Six men and we got ten wounds?”

“Actually one man for ten wounds.”

“What?”

“They told me there was one man who attacked them; the rest of the group split in the house.”

“One man?”

“According to the description, a tall brunette with brown eyes; black suit with white shirt and black tie.”

“Heiwajima.”

“Looks like him.”

“...” After a short silence, Shiki spoke again. “Did they steal something?”

“Yes. The golden horse.”

Shiki grimaced. “Damn it!”

“The boss is informed. He’s on his way.”

“We’ll find a way to get it back. I received information about the second horse anyway.”

“Orihara?”

“Yes.”

“It’s better than nothing. We lost one but we’ll get the second one.”

After an entire night of treating their injuries, Shinra was finally done. He joined Akabayashi and Shiki in the next room.

“Thanks for your hard work, Kishitani-sensei.” Shiki gave him a large envelope with money.

“You’re welcome.” Shinra didn’t ask more and bowed to say goodbye. “I’m leaving now.”

“Kishitani-sensei?” asked Akabayashi.

“Yes?”

The two men stared at him. “I’m sure you have some clues about what happened here…or at least who could have done that, right?”

“I think so…”

“So, we hope you would keep discreet about this incident.”

“Always. I’m not the type to spread gossips or rumors. I’m an underground doctor after all. I’m used to this.”

“Thank you.”

Then, Shinra left.

He arrived later in the night. Of course, Celty had waited for him the whole time. Kasuka and Ruri were still there and also waited for him. He was surprised when he arrived to see there was still a light inside before he could open the door.

“I’m back.”

“**_Shinra_**!” Celty jumped in his arms and enveloped him with her shadow**. “_I was worried, you idiot!!”_**

“Oh? Really? My lovely Celty worried for me!! I’m so happy!!” he said with stars in the eyes.

** _“Shut up! What happened?”_ **

“Oh…I even can’t have a “welcome home honey”?” he asked pouting.

She released him and tapped his head. “**_Welcome home.”_**

“But you forgot the main word!!” he pouted again.

** _“Shut up!!”_ **

Kasuka and Ruri went to welcome him. “Kishitani-san. Welcome back.”

“Kasuka-kun. Ruri-kun. Good evening. You should be asleep at this time.”

“We were waiting for you.”

“Thanks.” Shinra went to the kitchen to rinse his hands and took off his white coat to sit on the sofa.

Everybody joined him.

“Ok guys. Before I tell you, I want you give me your word that what I’m gonna tell you won’t leave this room, ok?”

Everybody nodded.

“Ok. The Awakusu-kai has been attacked by a group of six men…I don’t know why, but several men have been hurt severely…” Shinra fixed Kasuka. “…and looks like their injuries have been provoked by Shizuo.”

“Nii-san??”

“Yes. I’ve treated people’s injuries for years now and I could recognize Shizuo’s mark among thousand. Besides…”

“**_What_**?”

“An injured man told me only one guy hit all of them despite the fact they had guns and katanas…”

“Did he give you his description?”

“Tall with brown hair and brown eyes. Black suit, white shirt and black tie. No weapon. He fought just with his fists.”

** _“But…it’s not Shizuo’s look.”_ **

“I know. But Shiki and Akabayashi also seemed to think that it was him…”

“Do you know who attacked them?”

“No. They didn’t want me to know anyway.”

“But…how could we be sure it’s Shizuo-san?” asked Ruri.

“No one would have handled ten men this way, Ruri-kun. No one…except Shizuo.”

Everybody remained quiet until Celty tapped something on her PDA.

** _“What now?”_ **

“I don’t know. If it was him that means he’s still alive, so we should be happy…but he’s gonna be in troubles.”

“Nii-san has always been in troubles.”

“Yes. But at least, he’s alive.”

* * *

Somewhere in Ikebukuro.

“You did a good job Heiwajima-san.”

“…”

Yodogiri was holding the package tightly. He looked happy. The tall brunette from the other side didn’t seem to care. He remained emotionless.

“My men told me you hurt them pretty bad. What a pity you didn’t kill them…”

Kasane approached. “Your order was to bring you the golden horse, Sir. You didn’t ask to kill Awakusu’s men.”

“Well, some of them aren’t in condition to fight anyway. So it’s good.”

“What’s next?”

He gave a glance to Shizuo. “You can dispose now.”

The man left immediately and closed the door behind him. 

“Is there something wrong, Sir?”

“He’s good. But I don’t trust him yet.”

“I understand.”

“I’m waiting for an important delivery soon. No one is aware of this.”

“What about Orihara?”

“He can’t be that good. No one has been informed about this. Even my own closest men.”

“I see.”

“I want you to keep Heiwajima away from this.”

“But he could secure the delivery with his presence.”

“Or he would draw more attention on us. I can’t lose this delivery so I want him away until I got the package.”

“So? What do you expect from me?”

“Find him another mission to keep him busy.”

“Understood.”

Kasane left the room and met Shizuo outside. The tall man was waiting in the corridor with dead eyes, fixing the floor. She approached and put her hand on his shoulder. She noticed his suit was dirty. She touched it and felt the tissue was soaked of blood.

“So you’ve been hurt during the assault, right?”

“…”

“Come with me. I’ll treat your wound.”

He followed her obediently again. They arrived in a single room. Kasane closed the door behind Shizuo.

“Strip.”

He took off his clothes and waited for other instructions. She checked his wounds.

“You’ve been stabbed in the back…” she looked closer and noticed another wound. “Seems like you also have been shot in the stomach.”

“…”

She began to treat the wound, removing the bullet. The man didn’t grimace or hiss. He didn’t seem to feel any pain.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

“…”

She made some stitches and put some bandages around his wounds. When she had done, she told him to rest until she brought him other clean clothes, which he did.

* * *

The next day.

Kasuka had stayed quiet during the whole day. All his thoughts were for Shizuo; he was praying for his brother. He wanted to see him so bad…but he couldn’t forget he also abandoned him to save Ruri. He was torn between guiltiness and fear.

_“I don’t want he hates me…but I hate myself to have done nothing for him…how could I expect anything different than hate from him now?”_

He received a message on his cell phone and checked it.

_“Meet me there in one hour. I’ll be waiting for you on the roof.”_

Kasuka noted the address and left immediately. He had asked to Celty to watch Ruri during his absence and lied to them, saying he needed to see his manager for work. No one believed in him. Kasuka wouldn’t have let for a professional reason. It was personal…and it was related to Shizuo. Celty had refused to let him go alone so she followed him. But to be sure Ruri wouldn’t be in danger like the last time, she asked Kadota and his friends to come protecting her and Shinra during her absence.

Kasuka had taken a taxi and arrived at the right address. He came in and went to the elevator. He arrived on the roof and looked for his acquaintance.

“Always in time, Kasuka-kun.”

“Orihara-san.”

“Aaah…you should stop calling me this way. It makes me older than I am…” said Izaya with his usual teasing ton.

“Make it short, please. I don’t want to let Ruri alone.”

“She’s well protected. Don’t worry for her. Besides, I don’t think they would try to kidnap her again.”

“Do you know who did that?”

“I know everything.”

If Kasuka wasn’t so stoic, he would roll his eyes right now, but he remained calm. “So? Where is Nii-san?”

“Your dear brother is now working for the ones who kidnapped your lovely girlfriend.”

“…” Kasuka stared at him. “You’re lying.”

“Do you think I’m trying to manipulate you?”

“Nii-san would never do that.”

“Shizu-chan is no longer the same person anymore, Kasuka-kun.” He gave him a picture. He could see a tall man. Of course he recognized his bother immediately because of his face, but his hair was back to brown and he wasn’t wearing his bartender suit.

“Did...he know about Ruri?”

“Sort of…”

“What does it mean? I thought the ones who kidnapped Ruri were the same persons who took him? Was the Yodogiri’s group?”

“Who said Shizu-chan has been kidnapped?”

“But…when we went to rescue him, he was…”

“He followed Kujiragi -san to begin with. No one forced him.”

“You’re lying.”

“I need more information about this; I don’t know why he followed her, even if I’ve got some clues. He had no intention to work for Yodogiri to begin with, so he didn’t know about the plan for Ruri-chan, at least until it happened.”

“…” Kasuka looked around. “Why do you tell me this?”

“Oh…I thought you felt guilty to have chosen Ruri-chan over him. I wanted to cheer you up saying it was the right thing to do considering he’s now working for them and he was aware of this the whole time…” teased the raven.

“It doesn’t make me feel better…I don’t think you’re doing this for my sake.”

“Too bad…” pouted falsely Izaya.

“You’re…vile, Orihara-san. But whatever you could say, you will never make me hate my brother.”

“Ah! Ah! So funny!” laughed Izaya. “But I don’t need it anyway. You’re already doing a great job yourself without any help. Poor Shizu-chan…he loves you so much...”

For the first time in his life, Kasuka lost his cool and tried to punch Izaya in the face, but he was faster and avoided him.

“Whoa! You can actually get violent! Never saw you so furious! Don’t be so angry against me, Kasuka-kun. I’m just giving you the information you asked me. You wanted to find your brother: I tell you where he is. So stop looking for him or you’d put your lovely girlfriend in danger.”

Then, Izaya left, letting Kasuka alone with his thoughts, his fears and his guiltiness. He walked in the streets when he got caught by a shadow. He strangely didn’t fight back because he was perfectly aware of Celty’s presence the whole time.

** _“You love to mess around with people’s feelings, right?”_ **

“Dear courier-san…it’s bad to hear people’s conversation without their consent.” Sneered the raven.

** _“How dare you doing that to him? Don’t you think he’s feeling bad enough?”_ **

“My, my…Celty. Stop mothering everybody. It’s lame…”

** _“I knew it…”_ **

“What?”

** _“I knew…you were incapable to love Shizuo. I thought for a second you did it to help him because…but I was wrong.”_ **

“Oh…you really believed in Kasuka’s story? Me in love with Shizu-chan?” laughed Izaya. “Ah! Ah! It’s hilarious!!”

** _“Why did you agree to help us?”_ **

“I told you I never do anything when there’s no entertainment.”

** _“Shizuo loves you. You really don’t deserve him at all.”_ **

“Your lovely boyfriend cut your head to keep you by his side selfishly. He doesn’t care about your happiness as long as his own is satisfied. Do you think he’s better than me?”

** _“Don’t involve Shinra in this.”_ **

“Everybody is involved, Celty. Everybody sucks, everybody lies. Everybody hurts. Whatever your intentions, only acts matter.”

** _“So what is your real goal in this? Do you want to save him or not?”_ **

Izaya turned around to not let Celty see his face. He had a sad expression. “He no longer can be saved, Celty. The Shizuo you knew is dead.”

** _“No…”_ **

“You should try to forget him. He won’t come back. He’s lost forever.”

She shook her head. **_“I refuse to believe in this shit.”_**

“One day, you will change your mind.”

** _“No! Shizuo is my friend and even if he changed, I’ll always be there for him. There’s no way I’ll let him down.”_ **

“You already did it.”

She slapped his face. This time, Izaya didn’t avoid the hit.

** _“I hate you.”_ **

“You repeat yourself, Celty…” smirked Izaya.

She had enough and left. She didn’t want to see him anymore. She would find Shizuo alone, without his help since he was incapable to do anything right without hurting people.

Izaya looked at her leaving. “Fools…you don’t know anything.”


	16. The bad and the good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New character in this chapter. He doesn't appear in the anime but he's mentionned in the light novel

Izaya went back to home. He noticed Shiki had left a message. He already knew what happened in Awakusu-Kai’s quarters. He called him back after have gone back to his place.

“Shiki-san.”

_“So you heard about us?”_

“Of course. The good point here is there’s no dead.”

_“The loss is bigger than human life.”_

“I see. You should have known they would have come to take it back one day.”

_“I don’t want to risk anything. Are you sure about the information you gave to me?”_

“At 120%.”

_“You better not fool me Orihara.”_

“Did I ever do it in the past?”

_“Don’t play the nostalgic card with me. Anyway, the deal won’t last.”_

“You gave me your word.”

_“He was the one who attacked our men. Without him, they wouldn’t have stolen it.”_

“A deal is a deal.”

_“I didn’t say the deal was over. I just inform you I won’t cover you eternally. You have to do something quickly.”_

“I know.”

_“I won’t be able to restrain my men if he barges in our place again.” _Then Shiki hung up.

Izaya threw his phone irritated. “I know.”

He closed his eyes to have some rest. He needed to think. He was always sure about what he had to do. But now, he was lost. He made up the time he had lost during his coma knowing everything what happened, but it wasn’t enough. He knew something happened to Shizuo…something which changed him forever. He arrived too late. If only Vorona hadn’t shot him, he would have taken him away…

All Shizuo’s so called friends didn’t help. They just caused troubles. Yodogiri had used Kasuka and Ruri, Simon had called Vorona, the Dollars, the Yellow scarves or Toramaru’s group were useless…only Shinra and Celty could help him. He thought suddenly about someone…someone who could help him; someone as strong as Shizuo and as brilliant as he was…

He went to his computer and turned it on to search information. It didn’t take him much time to find what he was looking for. He smiled, relieved. Now, if everything went on his plan, he had his chances.

* * *

The day of the delivery came.

An exceptional convoy had arrived at Tokyo port. Not a big load thought, but it was extremely secured. The Awakusu’s men were already observing the men with the load from their position. Several men with guns and katanas were checking every single move around the load, a small box.

“What should we do now?” asked one of the Awakusu’s men, observing them with his binoculars.

“Let’s wait until they pass the customs. Then, we’ll attack them.”

That was what they did. Four cars left the port. The Awakusu’s men had noticed the box seemed to be in the second car. They followed them and blocked the road five miles away from the port. The neighborhood became a place of yakuza’s confrontation.

“Shoot them!!”

Shots got exchanged between the two gangs. The Yodogiri’s men weren’t many compared to the Awakusu’s. But they had no intention to give up. They knew what they were looking for and they would die to protect the load.

“Shoot them!”

“Kill these bastards!!” They were trying to clear a passage for the second car. After ten minutes of fights, the car managed to escape, driving fast and crashing everything on the passage. Of course the car was armored.

“Don’t let the car escape!!!” Shouted Awakusu’s men. But a grenade exploded and stopped them.

The second car drove fast. They managed to escape from the Awakusu’s men and arrived in another neighborhood, when the wheels got pierced. The driver understood quickly he passed on something prickle.

“Damn it!!”

When the driver went out with his gun, he just received a blow in his head and got knocked. The two other men in the back seat shot without seeing the assailant. But an asphyxiating grenade got thrown inside of the car. The two men began to cough but after a few seconds, they weren’t in condition to protect the load anymore. Someone opened the car and took the box. One of the men agonizing could see a tall man, dressing with black clothes and wearing a black helmet. In a last try, he stabbed the man in the left hip. The assailant got caught by the surprise but didn’t attack the other man and just fell on his knees. After a few seconds, the man in the car heard a bike leaving. He managed to get out of the car and noticed the box was still there, on the ground. He opened it quickly and sighed in relief when he saw the attacker hadn’t got the chance to take it with him since he was hurt. The reinforcements arrived in time and took the box.

* * *

Later. In Ikebukuro.

Kasane was working in her apartment when someone knocked at her door. She went to open and saw two familiar figures.

“What’s wrong?” she asked opening the door.

The two guys barged in the house. “Where’s Heiwajima?”

“In the next room. He’s sleeping. Why?”

They went to bedroom and opened the door without knocking first. The tall man was lying on the bed, resting peacefully. He opened his eyes immediately and looked at the guys. He got up and faced them.

“Did he leave tonight?”

“No. We stayed at home during the entire night.” Replied Kasane.

“Are you sure?” asked again the first guy.

“Yes. He stayed with me since we left the office. We had dinner and he went to his bedroom to sleep. He hasn’t moved since then.”

The guy didn’t look to be convinced so he moved to the window.

“We’re at the seventh floor. He may be strong but he’s not invisible. He wouldn’t have survived if he had jumped from here.” Added Kasane.

The other guy kept staring at Shizuo. “Strip.”

Shizuo didn’t obey but he remained quiet.

“Why does he need to strip?” demanded Kasane.

“Just the jacket and the shirt.” When he approached to take his clothes off, Shizuo blocked his move squeezing his hand firmly before pushing it away to strip himself. He took his jacket, his tie and his shirt off and threw it on the bed, before facing them again. The man examined his torso and especially his hips. But he saw nothing. No wound. He shook his head fixing his colleague.

“It wasn’t him.”

Kasane kept quiet and waited for more explanation.

“Sorry Heiwajima-san.” Said the second man.

“The convoy has been attacked. One of our men told us a biker with black clothes tried to steal the box but he got stabbed in the left hip. We had to check if it was him.”

“Did the robber manage to steal it?”

“No. He abandoned the box on the road before running away. He probably got stabbed pretty bad.”

“The headless biker?”

“No. it was a man. We’re heading back now.”

“We’re coming with you.”

“…” Shizuo dressed again and followed them. He didn’t let escape a single emotion.

* * *

Somewhere in Shinjuku.

Izaya was waiting for his contact. Usually, he preferred to meet people in public spaces but this time, he wanted a discreet place. The top of the highest building in Shinjuku was good enough for him.

“Izaya-kun.”

“Shishizaki-sempai. Long time no see.”

“So?”

“Straight as always!” laughed Izaya. “I thought we could have chatted a bit before getting to business.”

“What do you want talk about? Old good days maybe? As far as I can recall, you hated me.”

“I still do.” Izaya grinned. “I should admit you’ve always been a pain in my ass.”

“I know.”

“As strong as Shizu-chan and as agile and brilliant as me. You’re the perfect man! The strength and the spirit.”

“You didn’t call to flatter me, right, Izaya-kun? Let’s get to the point.”

Izaya became serious. “I hate you. But I must confess you’re the one who can help me.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’ve made a deal with a certain person. But he won’t be able to keep his promise. So I need you to watch someone for me.”

“Let me guess: Shizuo-kun?”

Izaya got irritated to be discovered so quickly. “How do you know?”

“After all these years, you’re still the same, Izaya-kun. You can fool all the people you want but you never fooled me. That’s why you always hated me.”

“You know nothing about me.” Said Izaya threatening him with his knife.

Hajime remained calm. “You would have never requested my help for someone else than Shizuo. Besides, I received a similar request for you.”

“What?”

“About few days ago, someone contacted me to ask protection for you.”

“Who?”

“I never give my client’s names. Besides, he or she didn’t tell me.”

“What did she or he ask? When was it?”

“Just after Ruri’s kidnapping. They tried to kill you this day but fortunately for you, your sisters saved you.” Hajime laughed. “Pretty funny considering the way you treated them…”

“Shut up.”

“Anyway. I received instruction to protect you.”

“Have you been paid already?”

“Yes. In late thought but more than I expected.”

“You didn’t meet this person?”

“No.”

“Is the deal with you over?”

“No.”

“How many do you want to tell me who it is?”

“I’m an honest man, Izaya-kun.”

The raven glared at him. “Forget it. Just do as I say for now on.”

“Sure.”

“Don’t bother to babysit me. I’m big enough to take care of myself.”

“I’ll keep looking for you, like it or not.”

“I wonder why I even called you.” cursed Izaya.

“We both know why. You can’t stop caring, whatever you try to do.”

“I’m not exactly the caring man you think I am. You should know that better than anyone…since you were there.”

“…” Hajime fixed him intensely. “Did you ever tell him?”

“No.”

“That’s probably the worst thing you ever did to him.”

“I know.” Izaya looked at him a bit ashamed. “Why didn’t you tell him since you know?”

“It wasn’t my role. It has to be you.”

“I can’t.”

Hajime looked away. “You know…I think he’s not completely unconscious about this.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I don’t know…he was feeling different the next day and…it’s just a feeling, but maybe he had some flashes or something…”

“How could he have flashes when he wasn’t even conscious?”

“I told you I don’t know. But maybe that’s why he started to hate you after that?”

“He always hated me. Since the beginning he hated me.”

“We both know it’s not true.”

“…”

“But that’s the reason why I always hated you, Izaya-kun.”

“Really? I thought he didn’t like me before?”

“You were annoying. But you definitely crossed the line this day. I could never forgive you for that.”

“So why are you here?”

“Because if he really knew all this time, I think he forgave you with the time. So I suppose it’s not my business.”

“You think you’re so smart. Why do I care if he forgave me or not? I did him worse the next years…”

“Yeah; and whatever you did was never enough.”

“…”

“You’re a bad person, Izaya. But I don’t think you enjoy this much to be hated as you pretend.”

“I love humans! All I want is to be loved in return!” claimed the raven.

“That’s why you did all those things? To be loved in return? You don’t even believe in your own words.”

Izaya sighted. “That’s why I hate dealing with you, Hajime-Sempai.”

“I figured out. Your little games never worked with me.”

* * *

Yodogiri’s quarters.

The old man was waiting. He looked impatient, so he finally saw his underlings coming back with the box, he was relieved. At the same time, Kasane, Shizuo and the two guys who visited them arrived.

The boss looked at the two guys who shook their head to mention it wasn’t Shizuo. He looked at him quickly and saw no expression on his face. He started to think Kasane really did a good job and he would become a good asset.

The box had been placed on his desk. He got up and opened it. He removed the protection and let appear a beautiful sculpture…the same one he had asked Shizuo and his men to steal in Awakusu’s quarters. A golden horse.

“Finally…” he said taking the golden thing. But when he grabbed it, he realized something was wrong. It was too light. So to be sure he wasn’t wrong, he hit the horse against the desk and broke it.

Everybody froze. “A fake one?”

The old man let the false golden horse falling on the floor, furious. “They fooled you! All along!”

“But Sir! Our men saw the biker leaving without the box!”

“He probably made an exchange.”

The man shut up and understood the boss was right. It was easier to carry than to take the entire box.

“And as imbeciles you all are, you fell in this!”

“We’ll take it back, Sir!”

“Do you think Orihara-san is behind this?” guessed Kasane.

“He wasn’t the black biker. This man looked stronger and taller than him. He was wearing a black helmet.”

“Maybe he paid someone to attack us, who knows?”

“Nobody was aware of the delivery. I told Kujiragi-san but she stayed with Heiwajima the entire day according to what I heard.”

“Who was your contact for the delivery, at the port?” asked Kasane.

“A former U.S Soldier who came back to Japan. Hajime Shishizaki.” Replied the old man.

“Do you trust him?”

“I trust nobody. But I paid him good for the delivery. He’s working as a security guard at the port. Besides I investigated about him before concluding a deal with him.”

The old man took the time to think. He needed to concentrate. Where should they start their investigation?

“Let’s go back to the origins.” He finally said.

“The Russians.” Said Kasane.

“Yes.”

Shizuo went back to his place. Since he joined Yodogiri’s group, they gave him a good place to stay. He stripped and took a shower. When he finished, he dressed with casual clothes and took a beer in the fridge. He didn’t drink milk anymore. He barely ate. Everything tasted like ashes. He didn’t seem to care anyway. He turned the tv on and watched the programs. The reporters were talking about his brother’s last movie and said he had cancelled all of his interviews which disappointed his fans. Shizuo turned the tv off and went back to his bedroom to sleep.

**“Do you miss him?”**

“…”

**“You know, he’s feeling guilty. But it was you or Ruri. You didn’t expect he would have chosen you, right?”**

“…”

**“Anyway, you’re lucky Kane didn’t get the chance to kill Izaya. Are you happy?”**

“…”

**“You know she was playing with your mind with the dead body. It wasn’t Izaya. You know that?”**

“…”

**“Are you listening?”**

“…”

The voice vanished. It didn’t seem to affect Shizuo. Nothing seemed to affect him anymore. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_“S-stop..please…”_

_“How can I stop now? You’re fucking good, you know?”_

_The man continued to pound into his ass roughly. He increased the speed. Shizuo was crying, biting his wrist to contain the pain he was feeling. _

_ “Come on bitch! Lift this slutty ass of yours higher.”_

_But Shizuo ignored the request and hid his face in the pillow. He felt his hair got pulled out forcibly. _

_“I said lift your ass!”_

_He did it, just to end this quickly as always. His prostate was hit and hit again. It didn’t feel good…but it wasn’t what his body said. _

_“Turn around. I wanna see your face when I’ll shoot inside.”_

_He made Shizuo rolling on his back and faced him. The blond ignored his rapist, closing his eyes. _

“I’m sorry…Shizuo…”

Still closing his eyes, Shizuo had some flashes of a dream he made a long time ago.

“It wasn’t supposed to turn this way…but…”

“I wanted this different…I’m sorry.”

_Then, Shizuo got forced to open his eyes and to face his rapist again. “Open your eyes, Blondie. Daddy has a surprise for you…”_

_Shizuo didn’t notice Kane had stopped to fuck him and had put it out. He was so focused on his dream that he almost forgot he was getting raped again; when he opened his eyes, he could see Kane’s hard cock dripping in front of his mouth. After few strokes, Kane came on his face and made him open his mouth to lick the cum he had left. _

_“Don’t forget the cage, Blondie…”_

_Shizuo obeyed as always, swallowing the awful semen…he threw up again right after._

The blond woke up suddenly, remembering this day. He rubbed his forehead to wipe the sweat and checked the hour. 2:30 A.M. Just another nightmare. But it wasn’t the memory of Kane’s abuse which bothered him but most the fragment of the other dream he made…someone was apologizing. Someone seemed to care enough about him to sound so desperate and sorry…and he couldn’t remember the person’s voice. He already did this dream in the past…and there was a long time he hadn’t dreamed about this again. But it was confused.

He went on his balcony to have some fresh air. The city was quiet. Too quiet.

* * *

The next day.

Yodorigi had received new information. The Awakusu’s group didn’t seem to have the golden horse. Actually, they missed their chance, so the biker was definitely an outsider.

“Sir? We contacted Shishizaki-san as you requested. He didn’t know anything.”

The old man frowned. “So, who’s this outsider?”

“Do you think he’s working for Awakusu’s group?” asked Kasane.

But the man who gave information replied. “No. it seems that he’s unknown there.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. Our informant is sure about this.”

“Then, let’s pay a visit to the Russian Sushi.” Said the old man.

“Should we send Heiwajima?” proposed Kasane.

“Yes. It would be better have him with them. This way he would be able to handle this Simon.”

“Understood.”

* * *

Ikebukuro.

“Sushi is good! Come and eat!” claimed Simon giving flyers to people. “Come taste our new receipts. Fresh and delicious.”

“Simon.”

“Oh! Kadota-san and his friends. Happy to see you guys. Wanna eat sushi today? Sushi is good, really good.”

“Yes. Let’s go guys. We’ll have a table for four.”

“Welcome! We’ll prepare the best meals for you guys.”

Some people came in for the lunch, so Simon came back inside to give some help. He brought Kadota, Saburo, Erika and Walker meals and drinks.

“Simon. Have you heard anything about Shizuo?” asked Kadota.

“No. I wonder if Shizuo is alright…” replied the tall Russian.

“Yeah…me too. I shouldn’t have said that to him; it was rude.”

“Oh! Dotachin is feeling sad?! So cute!!” exclaimed Erika.

“Shut up.” Kadota crossed his arms against his chest, irritated.

“Kadota is a good friend for Shizuo; Good friend says bad thing sometimes but it doesn’t mean friendship is over.” Replied Simon.

“You think so?”

“Friends need to say things even if it hurts sometimes, especially if it’s for a good reason.”

“…”

“Kadota didn’t want to hurt Shizuo. He wanted to help him…so Kadota shouldn’t feel guilty. I’m sure Shizuo isn’t mad at Kadota.”

The man smiled. He seemed to feel better. “Thanks Simon.”

“You’re welcome. Now eat! Sushi here is the best.”

“Itadakimasu!!”

They were about to eat when the door got crashed. A bike came in, breaking everything around and scaring people. Some customers escaped in the streets.

The biker was wearing black clothes but everybody could see it wasn’t Celty. He had a real bike and it was clearly a man.

“Get down!” said Kadota.

The biker moved closer. Simon rushed to him and began to fight but he could feel the man was pretty strong. He didn’t remove his helmet and hit Simon back, making him fall on the floor. The Russian chef used his knife to defend himself and attacked the biker. The man was agile and fast so he dodged several attacks but didn’t manage to avoid the last one which cut him on the left hand between the second and third fingers. The knife cut his black glove leaving a bleeding scar, which didn’t stop him. He knocked the chef with a punch and went to the counter to take the cash they had won. Then, he went back on his bike and was about to leave when Walker attacked him with Kadota.

“Get him!”

Walker got kicked in the stomach and fell on the floor while Kadota was fighting. The man was strong and he had difficulties to avoid his attacks. But he finally hit him, twisting his hand. He could see the bleeding scar on his left hand and tried to contain him, but the biker hit him behind the legs and escaped from his grip.

“Arg! Fucker!” groaned Kadota.

The biker left as fast as he arrived and disappeared quickly. 

“Everyone is alive?” asked Erika.

“Yes I guess..thanks to have tried to stop this bastard, guys.” Replied the chef.

“Let’s call the police.”

* * *

Yodogiri’s men were on the road with Shizuo to reach Ikebukuro center. They had decided to come in the restaurant from the other exit in the alley instead of the main entrance. But when they passed in front of the restaurant, they could see several police cars.

“What’s happening here?” asked one of the men.

“…” Shizuo observed the scene but didn’t say anything.

“Turn on the alley. We must know what happened.”

They hid the car in the alley and split to look for information. Shizuo wasn’t left alone and was followed by one of the men. He didn’t complain. He said nothing as always.

After some minutes of investigation, they heard a robber barged into the restaurant to steal the cash and left. But the description of the robber caught their attention: a man; a biker with black clothes, a black helmet and an orange and black bike. It was the exact description of the man who attacked them the previous days.

“Do you think the biker came only for cash?”

“I don’t think so. He came here because he knew where the golden horse was.”

“But we don’t know if it was here to begin with.”

“Do you still have doubts? The Russian were behind this!”

Kadota had just left the restaurant to have some fresh air when he heard people talking in the dark alley; he didn’t clearly hear what they said. But he was curious, so he moved closer silently. When he finally saw the men, he could see a little group. One of them caught his attention. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. He was also wearing black gloves, which was surprising since it was during spring. He had the impression to have already seen this man before but since he was on his back, he couldn’t see him clearly. One of the men saw him and alerted the others.

“Hey! What are you looking at?”

Kadota froze when the men who caught his attention turned around and fixed him emotionlessly.

“S-Shizuo??”

The tall brunette didn’t wait and rushed to him. He began to hit him and Kadota took time to react; Shizuo never attacked him in the past and it was the first time he did it without yelling or getting angry.

“Shizuo! Stop!!” called Kadota avoiding his blows.

But his former friend continued to attack him. The others took this opportunity to get back in their car when Saburo, Walker and Erika blocked their way.

“Don’t you dare going anywhere!!” Walker threw them his handmaid bombe, which made them run away faster.

Kadota was still fighting with Shizuo but he noticed something different in him.

“Dotachin! Get down!” shouted Walker who threw another handmaid bombe on Shizuo this time. He grabbed it before it could crash but the fire touched his gloves and Shizuo didn’t have any other choice to remove it to not get burn.

Kadota lifted his head just at this time and he observed him. 

“Shizuo…”

The brunette stopped fighting when the other men called him and ran away fast enough to not get caught.

Erika and Saburo rushed to Kadota. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“So…it was really Shizuo-kun?” asked Erika.

“Yes…” Kadota remained quiet. He had seen something in Shizuo which nobody noticed.

From his position, Hajime was looking at them. He had watched the whole scene and was ready to interfere to protect Shizuo as Izaya had requested it. He already knew everything. Shizuo was no longer the same...


	17. An enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other characters in this chapter.

Kadota and his group called Shinra to tell him about what happened in Russia Sushi and the encounter with Shizuo. Everybody met at Shinra’s place again.

“So, he’s alive. That’s a relief but…I can’t be happy to know he’s now working for the yakuza.” Said Tom sadly.

“According to what I understood the last time I went to Awakusu’s group, Yodogiri’s men attacked them, and Shizuo was one of the assailants. So yes, he’s working for them.” replied Shinra.

“But why did they attack the Russian Sushi?” demanded Mikado.

“Actually, we don’t know if Yodogiri’s group attacked the Russian Sushi. We just saw a group of men talking behind the restaurant about what they had to do…and Shizuo-san attacked Dotachin.” Replied Walker.

“Who was the biker, then?” wondered Kida.

“…” Kadota kept silent. He was thinking deeply. Something was bothering him. His fight with Shizuo had troubled him and he didn’t know if he should tell them what he thought. So he had preferred to wait.

“How was this biker anyway? Does he try to copy Celty or something?” said Shinra.

“He was different. Dressed in black yes but with a black helmet and an orange and black bike. He looked super hot!” answered Erika.

“Do you think he could be one of the Yodogiri’s men?” demanded Chikage.

“It’s hard to say. We don’t know anything about him.”

Celty showed her PDA. “**_I’m gonna look for information about this. But for now, stay alert.”_**

“Are you going to ask Orihara-san?” asked Kasuka.

“…” She hesitated. “**_I don’t think he would help us.”_**

“But he helped us to find Shizuo. We should try!” said Tom.

** _“Yeah…but he won’t help us this time. He knows Shizuo is no longer the same…”_ **

“…” Kasuka stared at her. Those words were Izaya’s ones, which meant…she heard their conversation the last time he met the raven.

“Just be careful, guys.” Concluded Shinra.

After everybody’s departure, Kasuka joined Celty in the balcony.

“Celty-san?”

“?” the dullahan turned around to face him.

“Were you following me the last day?”

“…”

“I had this conversation about Nii-san with Orihara-san. So you were there, right?”

She nodded.

“You heard everything…”

She used her PDA again. **_“I didn’t mean to pry but…we were worried for you. I didn’t want to let you go alone, knowing it wasn’t for a professional reason. I knew it was related to Shizuo…and Ruri was scared it could have happened something to you.”_**

“I understand.”

** _“I’m sorry.”_ **

“What for?”

** _“For…what Izaya told you.”_ **

Kasuka looked away. “I deserved it.”

** _“Izaya is a bad person. You should know better than anybody…he doesn’t love your brother. He never did.”_ **

“Yeah. I thought the same thing after our meeting.”

** _“You shouldn’t expect anything from him. All he did during all those years was hurting your brother. It might have some good effects on Shizuo but it wasn’t his first goal.”_ **

“…”

** _“You…you have doubts about this?”_ **

“I don’t know what to think anymore. As much as I hate Orihara-san, I can’t deny he’s right. I suppose that’s why I hate him. He was always right.”

** _“Stop blaming yourself.”_ **

“I’m not different from Orihara-san.”

** _“Why do you say that???”_ **

“I let my brother hurting himself during all this time. It was as if I did it myself with my indifference…it’s worse than anything.”

** _“It wasn’t indifference, Kasuka-kun, but fear.”_ **

“I shouldn’t feel scared about my brother. I should have faced my fears rather than running away. For Ruri, I was ready to do anything. But for my own brother, I did nothing.”

** _“Kasuka-kun…”_ **

“Thanks for your concern Celty-san, but there’s nothing you can tell me which would make me feel better…”

** _“Don’t be so hard on yourself…”_ **

“I can’t. I can’t forget those pictures in my head…I recall Nii-san hitting the wall with his fists yelling, until his bones cracked…I’m seeing him crying and shaking his head so hard talking to himself…I’m seeing his sadness and his loneliness in his eyes each time we went to the park and nobody wanted to play with us…or the way he looked so ashamed when he came to visit us. My mom always asked him how was his work and he ended looking down saying he had been fired again…” Kasuka’s voice was almost trembling.

** _“Hey…that’s enough. It wasn’t your fault. You told me yourself, you wouldn’t have helped him anyway. Don’t start blaming yourself because it’s exactly what Izaya wants. You’re smatter than that, right? So don’t fall in his trap.”_ **

“Thank you. I think I’m gonna have some rest now. I’m sorry to impose myself with Ruri…”

** _“Don’t mind at all! We’re happy to have you guys with us. I want to be sure everything is alright before letting you go. Ruri could still be in danger.”_ **

“Yes. Thanks again.”

Kasuka went back inside with a sad expression. Those last days, the brunette couldn’t keep his emotions hidden. After years of stoicism, his façade finally cracked.

* * *

Ikebukuro. Yodogiri’s quarters.

“So? Would you mind to tell me what happened in the Russian Sushi?” asked the old man.

“Someone barged in the restaurant one hour before our assault. When we arrived, there were cops everywhere…” replied one of the underlings.

“We heard that a man broke the door of the restaurant with his bike and stole the cash before leaving.”

“Are you sure it was the same biker?”

“It was a man for sure and not the headless biker.”

“Looks like he fought with the Russian chef and Simon before leaving. Kadota and his group were also there…and we met them when we arrived. We managed to escape thanks to Heiwajima-san.”

“…”

“So we still have no name. We don’t know his identity…”

The old man thought. “He probably stole more than the cash in the restaurant. I’m sure the Russians knew about the delivery.”

“But if they knew, who spoke? Who could know?”

“We must find who this outsider is. Find him.”

“Yes Sir!”

Shizuo was about to leave when the old man called him.

“Heiwajima-san. Would you mind to stay here please?”

The brunette turned around and faced the boss. He remained quiet as always. Kasane was still by his side.

“Awakusu’s group attacked us. That’s inacceptable. You don’t need to know much about this but the two golden horses you saw used to be mine. I don’t really care about their price but those are precious to me. I want to get it back. Thanks to you, we managed to get the first one. Until we find the second horse, I want you to break their business. We will give you details about their next transactions. Bring the money back or make their transactions fails I don’t care, as long as they’re affected.”

“…” A man gave a list with several addresses. Shizuo grabbed it and read quickly before putting it in his pocket.

“Two men with him. Don’t waste more time.”

“Yes Sir!”

“Let’s go Heiwajima-san.”

Shizuo followed the two guys without protesting. Kasane stayed with the old man.

“You still don’t trust him, right?”

“He was unpredictable before being on your control. I wonder what you did to him to make him so obedient.”

“I don’t think you want to know. But be assured he agreed with it.”

“He agreed?”

“He was the one who asked to begin with. I had no intention to hire him in the first place until I met him in the streets alone, one night. Since this day, he accepted to follow me.”

“He looks like a dog without collar.”

“I would say a dog without a master. Now he has one, he’ll be a good dog.”

“If you say so…anyway did you find anything about the black biker?”

“Not yet. I’m still searching for information.”

“Make it quick. I really underestimated this son of bitch. I don’t understand his motives here…this man is a shadow.”

“The headless biker has attaches. Not him. It will be harder to know who he is.”

“I already contacted my informant.”

“What’s his name?”

“Sin.”

“Are you sure you can trust him?”

“No one is trustable. But Sin is the best. Better than Orihara and contrary to him, he’s only interested about money. As long as you pay him a good price, he’s loyal. Orihara is unpredictable.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised to discover he’s under this mess.”

“Don’t forget the Russians.”

“Why do you think the Russians are behind this?”

“It started with them. If they hadn’t betrayed my family, I wouldn’t have to deal with them today. I don’t think they forgot.”

“…”

“Contact Sin to get more information. I want this outsider. If he’s not with the Awakusu’s group or with the Russians, he must work for someone. ”

“Understood.”

* * *

Celty was at home when she received a message. She hadn’t got work lately since she was focused to find Shizuo.

_“Delivery requested. An envelope. Locker 75, NPC24H Quick Ikebukuro Parking Lot. Payment for delivery: 1 000 000 yens. Half already in your mail box. Second half after the delivery. Recipient and location on the envelope. 1 approved. 2 denied.”_

Celty showed her PDA to Shinra. He frowned.

“I didn’t check the mail box today. Wait for me.” He went downstairs and came back few minutes later with an envelope. “Whoa! He or she was serious!”

** _“Do you think I should do it?”_ **

“Yes. I suppose you should. I know you miss working. Besides, you never bothered to know about the identity or the request in the past, so why now?”

** _“Because…after all what happened, I don’t know what to do or to think anymore.”_ **

“Stop torturing yourself about Shizuo. He’s alive.”

** _“Yeah…”_ **

She tapped a message on her PDA. _“1 approved.”_

She received another message quickly. “_Delivery expected in one hour. Code for the locker : 2801”_

_“Understood.”_

She prepared herself to leave. Shinra had told her to be careful, even if she didn’t risk anything since she was immortal.

She drove fast and arrived at NPC24H Quick Ikebukuro Parking Lot. There was nobody at this hour. She came in discreetly and went to the lockers in the back of the parking lot. She tapped the code on the locker 75 and opened it. She saw an envelope with money with a location and a name.

“Simon Brezhnev. 〒171-0014 Tōkyō-to, Toshima City, Ikebukuro, 2-chōme−33−16.”

So it was a package for Simon. She wanted to open the envelope but she contained her curiosity. The client had paid her a good price for a simple delivery, it would be bad. She went back to Shooter and drove to her next destination.

She arrived faster than she thought. She used the ring bell at the interphone.

“Hello?”

She faced the little camera and showed her PDA. “**_Good evening Simon. I have a delivery for you.”_**

“Celty-san. A delivery for me?”

“**_Yes_**.”

“Come in. I’ll open the door. Second floor, apartment 54.”

She heard the locker of the door clicking and came inside. She reached the second floor and arrived in front of the door Simon gave her.

“Cetly-san. Come in.”

She nodded and saluted him. The tall man was dressed casually with a green tee-shirt and black pants. Denis was sitting in the sofa, drinking vodka and smoking.

“Oh. Celty-san. Good evening.”

“Celty-san said she had a delivery for me. Would you like to sit my dear?” proposed nicely Simon.

She accepted and sat in front of them before handing the envelope. Simon took it and opened the envelope. He could see money.

“Oh…money?”

Celty coked her head, surprised.

“How many?” asked Denis.

Simon began to count. After several minutes, he was finally done. “1 250 000 yens.”

They looked more surprised than happy. Denis fixed Celty. “Who asked you to give Simon this?”

She sowed the message the client sent her. “**_I didn’t meet the client.”_**

“We don’t know a lot of people except you, guys. Who could have done this?”

“It’s good! We could use the money for the repairs of the restaurant.” Said happy Simon.

“The money was addressed to you. You can keep it.”

“No no! We’ll use it for the restaurant, chef!”

Denis looked the money. “We had about the 500 000 yens in cash since it was what we won in the whole week. Considering the prices of the repairs, it will leave nothing.”

“Good. Let’s do this.”

Celty couldn’t help to find Simon nice. But something told her that the money was indeed for the restaurant, and not for Simon. The client probably knew he would react this way. Actually that was exactly what Denis thought.

“Thanks for your hard work, Celty-san.”

** _“You’re welcome. I’m leaving now.”_ **

She came back to home but before entering in her building, she received another message.

_“Second half in the mail box. Thank you.” _She took the envelope and put it in her combination. She didn’t need to count. She was welcomed by Shinra and she told him everything. But since she had no information about the client and his or her motives, they dropped the subject and went to bed.

* * *

One week later.

Shizuo had done the missions with the two men. He managed to make the Awakusu’s transactions fails. In five days, Shizuo and his group managed to collect more than 30 000 000 yens. The first mission was easy since it was a transaction in a parking lot late in the night. They interrupted a meeting and fought with Awakusu’s men stealing their money, about 10 000 000 yens.

The next mission was harder since after the first incident, the group reinforced the security and called reinforcements. The transaction was supposed to be in Shinjuku, in Awakusu’s quarters. But nothing or nobody could stop Shizuo. Despite being three against about twenty men, they succeeded to come in the quarters being unnoticed. The transaction done, the other group left the Awakusu’s quarters. Shizuo and the two other guys knocked the guards and stole the money but the noises drew attention and the guards began to shoot. The two guys escaped with the money and Shizuo stayed to fight to give them more time to leave. In the fight, he had been hit four times by bullets in different places, but he didn’t stop him. When he saw his guys left, he ran away at his turn. This time, they collected 25 000 000 yens. At his return, he had to rest a bit until he healed his injuries. But he never complained. The boss was pretty satisfied to see he made fail two important transactions for the Awakusu’s group.

The other missions weren’t big ones. They just robbed the money Awakusu’s men were supposed to collect at their different shops and Shizuo’s group went before them. They didn’t collect a lot compared to the previous missions, around 5 000 000 yens, but it was enough to irritate their enemies.

“How is he?”

“He’s getting better. Fortunately, his vital organs haven’t been touched.” Replied Kasane.

“He did a good a job. You were right. He’s a good asset.” The old man drank his coffee. “Something new about the black biker?”

“No but I’ve got something about Shishizaki-san.” She held him some pictures. “He met Orihara-san about few days ago.”

“So, he’s working with Orihara…”

“Do you think he could be the black biker?”

“Sin told us he wasn’t. And he couldn’t be at the port and there when the car with the golden horse left…but since he’s working with Orihara, he’s involved.”

“Do you think Orihara-san contacted him after the black biker managed to steal the golden horse?”

“I don’t know. It’s a pain Kane couldn’t have killed him.”

“What should we do now?”

“Orihara is uncatchable. We have to drag him in a trap. He will tell us what he knows. Doesn’t he have sisters?”

“Twins. Mairu and Kukuri Orihara.”

“Then, even if he’s a cold bastard, he has a family…”

“You’re right. But you shouldn’t expect any family’s sentimental bond with him. He’s capable to let them die just to annoy you.”

“I know. But if I remember correctly, Heiwajima-san hates him, right?”

“…” Kasane didn’t reply. She perfectly understood what he meant. But he didn’t know everything, so she replied just nodding.

“Then, it’s done. Send some men to capture the twins. I’ll let to Heiwajima the privilege to take care of them.”

“Understood.”

* * *

Ikebukuro. Awakusu’s quarters.

“Yodogiri made us lose a lot of money lately.” Said Aozaki.

“Yeah. Looks like they got some information about our transactions.” Added Kazamoto.

“Someone talked.”

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll take back our money and even more if things go as according to the plan.” Said Shiki.

“Tell us.” Said the old man. Awakusu-san was particularly affected by the last attacks. Yodogiri was his enemy for so long he swore he would crush him one day.

“Let’s fight fire with fire. All we need is reinforcements.”

“What’s the idea?” asked again Aozaki.

“The plan is to launch simultaneous attacks. This way, they won’t be able to react efficiently.”

“Do we have all we need to attack now?”

“Yes. But be careful if you meet Heiwajima. Don’t try to stand up to him.” Explained Shiki.

“We have to do something about this bastard. He’s working for them, so he’s our enemy.”

“Besides, it’s thanks to him that they managed to steal the golden horse.” Added Kazamoto.

“I know.” Shiki was embarrassed. He made a deal with Izaya and it was thanks to him that he could have collected other information to prepare their reply. Plus, dealing with Shizuo was the best way to sacrifice his men. “We’ll deal with him later. If he’s on your way, try to avoid him. All we want now is to drag them down and to get the money they stole us back…with some interest, of course.”

That was exactly what the Awakusu’s group did. On the same time, Yodogiri’s men were planning something else…

* * *

After their training, Mairu and Kukuri left their dojo.

“See you next time, Sensei!”

“Bye girls!”

The twins were walking peacefully in the streets.

“Let’s go to eat an ice cream!” proposed Mairu.

“Ok.” Agreed Kukuri.

The girl noticed her sister looked gloomy. “What’s wrong, Kukuri?”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not! I can see it. Tell me!” Mairu hugged her.

“Let go.”

“Noooo!! I wanna know what’s wrong! Tell me! I won’t let you go until you tell me!!” she insisted without never let her go.

Kukuri used her defense spray.

“Ouch!!! It hurts Kukuri!!” cried Mairu.

“Told you to let me go.” But she felt sorry, so she stopped and gave a soft kiss to her. Mairu wiped her tears and smiled. “Do you feel better?”

“Much better! But I still wanna know!”

Kukuri blushed. “I wonder what Aoba-kun is doing now…”

“Oooooh!! You should have told me you missed him. We can call him or invite him to the Russian Sushi!”

“Do you think so?”

“Yes!”

But when they were about to walk again, a car stopped by their side. Several men went out of the car and began to drag them inside.

“HEY!!!”

Kukuri didn’t manage to defend herself and Mairu tried to protect her. But since she got blinded by Kukuri’s defense spray earlier, she couldn’t see clearly and couldn’t react as well as she was used to. Then, a man knocked Kukuri with his hand on the neck.

“KUKURI!”

Then, another one did the same with Mairu before disappearing in the car and leaving as fast as they arrived.

* * *

Yodogiri’s quarters.

“Sir? We received confirmation. Orihara’s sisters got captured and have arrived at the place.”

“Good. Call Heiwajima-san.” Replied the old man.

“Yes Sir.”

The boss finished his cup of tea and left his office to get in the car. His car was followed by two other ones and reached a neighborhood in construction at the west of the city. 

Mairu and Kukuri were lying on the floor, tied. The building under construction was empty at this hour of the night. The two girls were watched by Yodogiri’s men until the old men followed by Kasane and Shizuo arrived.

When the twins saw Shizuo coming, they blinked, wondering what he was doing here with them. He really looked different and they understood immediately he wasn’t there to rescue them.

“Hi girls. My apologies to get you two involved in this, but this is the only way to catch your brother.” Said the old man.

“You kidnapped us to catch Iza-Nii?” asked Mairu. “You’re wasting your time. He won’t come to rescue us.”

Kukuri looked at Shizuo with sad eyes. “Shizuo-san…help us.”

But the man remained emotionless.

“I’m deeply sorry for you, my dears. But you have the unhappiness to share the same blood with Izaya Orihara. So you’re my enemies.”

The old man took his cell phone and composed a number. After some ringtones, someone picked up.

_“Hello Yodogiri-san. Long time no see.”_

“Orihara-san. Happy to see you recovered from the last time.”

_“Ah! Ah! You didn’t seriously think I would have died from this?”_

“I didn’t expect this. I suppose you got stabbed in the past before I made do it to you.”

_“Ah, you’re wrong. Nobody was as fast to catch me. But I have to confess I let my guard down this day and I actually underestimated you.”_

“Such a pleasure to see someone finally managed to defeat you for once!”

_“Don’t flatter yourself my dear. It was just a light scratch, nothing more…”_

“Yes. I guess Heiwajima-san gave you the lesson you deserved when you fought with him. Such a shame the Russian woman missed you the last time. Are you feeling better?”

_“So nice of you to be so concerned about my health, but yes, I’m fine.”_

“Good. Because I’d like to talk with you. Could we meet tonight?”

_“I’m terribly sorry but I’m not available tonight.”_

“I forgot to mention it wasn’t a request, Orihara-san.”

_“My apologies, but I have to refuse.”_

“I’ve got something to make you change your mind.” He passed the phone to his sisters. “Say hi to your brother, girls.”

“This is your fault again, Iza-nii!! I swear if we die, we’ll curse you and we’ll haunt you for the rest of your life!!” shouted Mairu furious.

_“Ooooohhh….you kidnapped my adorable sisters… you’re such a cruel person, Yodogiri-san.”_

“Well, you’re the only one what I want, so come meet me and I give you my word I’ll let them go.”

_“Is it all what you found to catch me? I’m amazed by your lack of imagination!”_

The old man smiled. “Don’t play this game, Orihara-san. You know I’ll kill them. You better come to meet me in one hour or you can say goodbye to your lovely sisters.”

_“Oh! Farewell. Pass me the phone to let me say sayonara now. I’ll spare you the time to wait for nothing.”_

Yodogiri’s smile vanished. “Do you really want to see them die?”

_“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but their sort doesn’t affect me at all. You should know I’m despicable since that time now. Feel free to kill them the way you want.”_

“As you wish. I’ll let someone you know to take care of them…”

_“By the way, say hi to Shizu-chan!”_ Izaya hung up the phone letting Yodogiri speechless.

The old man looked at the girls confused. “Well, well…I didn’t think it would turn this way but I always do what I say.” He turned around and faced Shizuo. “Heiwajima-san? They are yours.”

Shizuo walked closer to the twins.

“Shizuo-san…no, please!!” begged Mairu and Kukuri.

The tall man grabbed their small bodies and walked ahead toward the window.

“PLEASE!! DON’T! SHIZUO-SAN!!”

He didn’t listen to them. The poor girls kept struggling to free themselves, in vain. Shizuo was stronger and he seemed to have decided to obey to the orders he received.

“PLEASE! NO!! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!” begged again crying Mairu and Kukuri.

They were at the nineteenth floor. The girls wouldn’t survive for sure.

“SHIZUO-SAN!!!!”

Then, when he reached the window, he put their bodies in the air, letting them watch the distance which separated them from the ground. They were yelling desperately, hoping someone would hear them. Then, the unimaginable arrived…and Shizuo let them fall. 

“NO! NO!! NO!!!!”

The twins shouted and cried falling. Nothing could save them anymore…it was too late. In a few seconds, they would crash on the ground and would die just because of their stupid brother…

But at this desperate time, a miracle occurred and Shooter’s roars resonated. Celty’s shadow got deployed and caught the twins in their fall. She enrolled them in her shadow and put them without releasing them on her bike and left quickly.

From the top of the building.

“Sir! The headless biker!!”

“Damn! What was she doing here??” cursed the old man.

“She escaped!!”

Kasane looked at Shizuo who had stayed impassive before, during and after the scene but didn’t say anything.

“What now, Boss?”

“There’s nothing to do anymore. We won’t catch them; let’s head back.”

From the opposite building.

“Looks like Celty did it in time.” Said Hajime.

“I knew she would do it.” replied Izaya.

“You wouldn’t have let this happen anyway. You know i already prepared myself to react in the case of she hadn’t been there.”

“Yes. But your presence wasn’t necessary.” He grinned.

“They will hate you even more after that…” said Hajime.

“Mairu and Kukuri already hate me. It can’t be worse. Mairu tried to snap my neck in the street the last time I saw her. She attacked me from behind.”

“But they saved you from this man when Ruri-chan got kidnapped.”

“Ah…don’t try to understand us, Hajime-sempai. That’s Orihara’s business.”

“No one would like to get involved in this crazy family.”

One hour before.

Celty received a message. She checked it quickly.

_“_ _〒_ _170-0014 Tōkyō-to, Toshima City, Ikebukuro, 1-chōme−13−8. Last building under construction on the left. Get ready to react.”_

“What is it Celty?”

**_“Another job_**.” She showed him the message.

“Is it the same sender as the last time for Simon?”

** _“It’s not the same number but it doesn’t mean anything.”_ **

“Hmm…looks strange.”

She wrote something in return. _“What sort of help is expected?”_

_“Rescue mission. Undesirable refusal. Immediate departure requested. Wait outside. Don’t come in the building. 1 000 000 yens.”_

She showed to Shinra again. “Looks like serious.”

** _“I should go now. Whoever it would be, if somebody is in danger, I must do something.”_ **

“Be careful.”

She nodded and had left with Shooter quickly.


	18. Reprisals

“Thank you so much Celty-san!!!” thanked Mairu.

“Thank you Courier-san. Thank you very much.” Added shyly Kukuri, still under the shock.

**_“You’re welcome.”_** Replied Celty showing her PDA.

She had brought the twins back with her at her place. The poor girls were terrorized after have seen the death so close. 

“So, tell us: who kidnapped you?” asked Shinra.

“An old man, named Yodo…Yoda…” tried to remember Mairu.

“Yodogiri?” guessed Ruri.

“Yes! They brought us to the building and a woman arrived. She was with Shizuo-san!!”

Celty wrote again. **_“It’s true! I saw him there in the building. At the window.”_**

“We begged him!! But he didn’t listen!! He tried to kill us!!!” shouted Mairu, out of control. “I can’t believe he did that!”

“That’s because of Nii-san…” said Kukuri.

“But we have nothing to do with Nii-san!!” She got up, walking around and cursing. “Damn Iza-nii! This is his fault if Shizuo tried to kill us!! He even didn’t try to save us!! Damn bastard! I hate him! I hate him!!”

Kukuri came closer and pulled her sister in a comforting hug. “Easy now…it’s over.”

“Yeah…” Mairi sighted in relief, feeling comforted.

Celty spoke again with her PDA. **_“I received a message with your exact location.”_**

“Really? But who…”

** _“I don’t know. It was a job request. I was just told to go there immediately and to get ready to react. I didn’t know it was you, girls. I only knew it was a rescue mission, that’s all.”_ **

“oh…” Kukuri thought. “Do you think Nii-san…”

** _“I can’t tell you. But it’s not impossible.”_ **

“Whoever it could be, it’s not what matters here. I can’t believe Shizuo did that to you, girls.” Said Shinra.

“…” Kasuka looked down. It was hard for him to know that his brother could have tried to kill the twins, but Celty, Mairu and Kukuri couldn’t lie. “_Orihara-san was right. Nii-san is no longer the same anymore…”_

“Did he look angry or something?” asked Shinra.

“No. He looked like a zombie. He just obeyed to the orders. He even didn’t speak or look at us.” Replied Mairu.

**_“First Awakusu’s group, second Kadota and his friends, and now Mairu and Kukuri.”_** Wrote Celty. **_“Shizuo changed for sure, but I didn’t imagine he could be so…”_**

“Inhuman?” guessed Kasuka. 

** _“Heartless. Shizuo has never been seen as a common human, considering his immensurable strength.”_ **

“But we can’t consider him as one of us now. He’s a yakuza.” Told Shinra sadly. “We better stay away from him.”

* * *

Yodogiri’s quarters.

The old man was furious. His plan to drag Izaya down and to get the information he needed failed because of the headless biker. That meant someone informed him. Shizuo had done what he expected him to do.

Kasane was by his side, but this time without Shizuo.

Some guards came in and rushed to the boss. The old man frowned seeing their panicked expression.

“What is it?”

“Sir! The Akawusu’s men launched several attacks against us and…”

“Get to the point already! How much?”

“We’re still evaluating the loss but…the impact has probably amounted to 50 000 000 yens...maybe me more.”

The boss hit his fist against the desk. “You all are incapables!! How could you have been so incompetent?!”

The men looked down, ashamed.

“That’s enough!! We’ll make reprisals!”

“What sorts of reprisals are you thinking about, Sir?” asked Kasane.

“Let’s hit a high value target.”

“Awakusu Dougen?”

“This old man represents the past of the group. I want to crush their future…”

“Awakusu Mikiya?”

“The heir killed, the group will be affected. The anger will make them mistakes…”

“Should we send Heiwajima-san?”

“No. He could hesitate if he has to face the little girl. He saved her the last time when we sent the Russian woman to capture her.”

“Understood.”

* * *

Two days later. Shinjuku.

Izaya was at home. Hajime never left his side when the raven didn’t give him the order to watch Shizuo. After all, he still had the deal with this unknown client.

“You look thoughtful, Izaya-kun.”

“I am. After what happened lately, no doubt that Yodogiri is preparing something big to take his revenge against Awakusu.”

“Aren’t you going to inform them?”

“They’re probably aware about this.”

“Do you know anything about their plan?”

“I know what a certain source of mine told me. That’s all.”

“And?”

“…” Izaya didn’t seem really pleased but concerned. “If Yodogiri succeeds, we’ll reach a point with no return.”

“Do you think they can succeed?”

“They can. But I hope they won’t.”

* * *

Yodogiri’s quarters.

All the men were reunited. The boss had convoked an extraordinary meeting.

“As you know, we’ve been severely affected lately. Time has come to crush the Awakusu-kai once for all. I expect your entire devotion in this fight. That might be the most important one so I don’t want failure. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” said everybody.

“You know what you have to do.” The men started to split. “Heiwajima-san. Come here please.”

Shizuo walked to the man and faced him.

“I want you to stay out of this. I’ll need you soon so stay ready.”

“…”

The man made a sign to the guard at the entrance. The other guard nodded and opened the door. “Omajira-san. Come in please.”

Hearing this name was enough to make react Shizuo. The tall man squeezed his fists tighter to contain his anger. Kasane could see he was restraining himself.

The arrogant guy arrived, smirking. “Hey Blondie. Long time no see.”

“…” Shizuo was trying to remain calm but his façade began to vanish slowly.

“Omajira will contact you right away after have received the confirmation our men succeeded. Then, he will give your instructions” Explained the old man.

Kane was turning around Shizuo. “Yes…you have to obey me again, Shizu-chan!”

This was one word too much and Shizuo literally exploded. He grabbed Kane’s throat with one hand and strangled him hard before pinning his face against the table. He moved his face close to his ear to whisper.

“Do not ever call me this way again.”

It was the first time in months that Shizuo opened his mouth to talk. His voice was threatening. Kane who used to be so overconfident, completely lost his composure and was almost shaking.

The old man froze immediately and looked at the tall brunette with a certain fear…only Kasane remained quiet and calm. The guard at the entrance moved closer, shaking.

“hei-Heiwajima-san. Stay calm…” he said approaching slowly.

Shizuo found his cool again and took Kane’s gun on his left side, before releasing him. He gave a last look to his boss, saluting him before leaving the room without a word. 

“It would be better to keep Omajira and Heiwajima-san away from each other in the future, Sir.” Advised Kasane.

“Indeed. I don’t know what you did to him, Kane, but I could have sworn that he was ready to kill you…”

Kane readjusted his body and his clothes to look confident again, after this humiliation. “Just give me the signal and I will crush him good once for all…”

“He’s good and useful. So you better not try anything against him.” Warned the old man. “Make sure to focus on your mission.”

“Yes Sir.”

Kasane waited for Kane’s departure to speak. “May I ask you why did you want them to meet again?”

“I never do things without a reason. Believe me.”

Later in the day.

Shizuo went back to his home. He undressed and went to the shower when he heard someone came in. The door of the bathroom started to open. The intruder didn’t have the time to react that Shizuo was already pinning him against the wall.

“Welcome back Heiwajima-san.”

Shizuo calmed down and released Kasane immediately to go back in the shower.

She undressed and joined him in the shower. “Do you want some company?”

“…”

She didn’t bother to wait for an answer and stepped in. She took the opportunity to wash his back with the soap since he didn’t turn around to face her.

“The boss is satisfied of your work.”

“…”

“My apologies for Kane. I didn’t know the boss would make you meet him again.”

“…”

She washed his back and kept washing the rest of the back of his body, letting her hands travelling along his ass and his long legs. “Kane was furious after the way you treated him earlier.”

Just hearing his name made him angrier but he remained quiet.

“I can feel your hatred just touching you.” she could feel his muscles tensed. “He is contemptible. I know. He was already like this before meeting you; that’s why I chose him to help me to begin with.”

“…” Shizuo didn’t speak but turned around to face her.

“Do you hate me too, Heiwajima-san?”

No answer. But in this situation, his silence was eloquent. It didn’t mean it was what he thought. She moved her face closer and kissed him. He didn’t stop her but he didn’t kiss her back either. Their eyes met and they kissed again. This time, Shizuo responded and pressed his lips against hers before letting her tongue exploring his mouth and playing with his. There was no desire in the kiss, but just a tentative of interaction. They broke the kiss and faced each other.

“You asked me.”

“I know.”

“Do you regret it?”

“…”

“Should I consider your silence as a “yes”?”

He moved away from her and stepped out of the shower. He enrolled a towel around his waist and reached the bedroom. Kasane finished washing her body and joined him.

“Why are you here?” asked Shizuo, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“The boss wants me to watch you.”

“He wanted to be sure I won’t interfere, right?”

“Yes.”

She moved closer and let the towel around her body falling, revealing her naked body. Shizuo kept fixing her in the eyes.

“I’m not that blind, Heiwajima-san.”

“…”

“What are your motives?”

“What’s yours? I know a lot about you, more than you can imagine.” Replied Shizuo, questioning her back.

“It seems that I failed to break you completely.”

Shizuo got up, walking away to get some clothes in the cupboard. “You didn’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“I did what you and your boss asked me to, right?”

“Yes.”

She approached, still naked. “But there’s more. I want to know how and why.”

“There’s nothing.”

“There’s something.”

Shizuo faced her again, but this time he grabbed her hands and pinned her against the cupboard, pressing his naked body against hers. She didn’t resist.

“Not using Saika?” he asked.

“Why should I? Are you going to hurt me?”

Then, he kissed her, still restraining her hands. She got accustomed with the discomforting position enrolling her legs around his waist. Shizuo released her wrists and grabbed her hips to press himself hard against her slender body.

After some minutes of kissing, he carried her to the bed and threw her unceremoniously on her back and went on the top of her. He fixed her in the eyes briefly before touching her breast and spreading her legs. One of his hands was pinching her left nipple while the second one was rubbing her pussy. He used his tongue and sucked the right nipple still touching and playing with the left one and let his tongue traveling her skin going down…reaching the navel…and below. He spread her legs wider and licked the well known area. He had done it so many times during their sessions that he knew every part of her body and how to satisfy her. But this time, he was the one in control. The tongue kept licking the clitoris, toying it again and again. Kasane was struggling each time she felt it because he kept stroking her good spot. She was close…so close. But each time she was near of the climax, Shizuo moved away and stopped. The teasing was unbearable but not for her. She would never complain. But after a certain time, she finally reached the orgasm and came, but Shizuo didn’t stop. It was impossible for her to stop shaking. Rubbing or licking the clitoris after an orgasm was insupportable. She tried to close her legs to make him stop or to lift his head pulling his hair but nothing worked. Shizuo kept teasing her.

“H-Heiwajima-san…my body can’t…endure this..stop…” she moaned.

He ignored her request and continued during long minutes, making her come again and again until he had enough. He lifted his body slowly, staring at her recovering from the multiple orgasms. She was breathing heavily.

He positioned himself and put it in without warning. He pounded her hard, grabbing her hips and pushing his organ deeper. She enrolled her arms around his neck and pressed herself against his strong body while he was taking her. He was rough. She didn’t care. She was used to do it with him and she liked it. It was strange to see him on control when their roles were reversed a few weeks ago.

His moves got faster and deeper, which made her feeling it even more than usual. She was scratching his back with her nails but nothing seemed to make him slower the rhythm or be gentle. She was rubbing his back and let her hands going down, grabbing his ass. He never stopped her until she went too far, spreading his buttocks and fingering him. Shizuo got mad and grabbed her hands to pin it above her head.

“Do not ever do that again.”

“My apologies.” She said.

He didn’t release her hands and continued to fuck her senseless. She could see she made him angry when she felt he became rougher. Besides, her wrists began to hurt since he was squeezing it hard. She tried to contain her pain, keeping her emotionless façade, but dealing with Heiwajima Shizuo’s strength wasn’t easy.

“Ah!! It hurts! Hei-Heiwajima-san!! Stop!!” she moaned in pain.

He didn’t listen and he fucked harder.

“S-stop! Please..i can’t..any..more..” she groaned.

He moved closer to her ear. “Weren’t you the one who asked me to teach you?”

She blinked. It was true. Before Shizuo had asked her to break him, she requested it. She wanted to feel emotions, having feelings…like a human being.

“Then, this is pain. Take it.” added Shizuo keeping thrusting in her.

The woman felt some tears rolling along her cheeks but didn’t protest. The pain was terrible but it was the first time she felt this way…she was feeling alive.

But after this, she started to feel good. The more he hurt her, the more she liked it. She was losing control and couldn’t help to moan loudly.

“Heiwajima-san!! There!! Yes! More!!!”

He spread her legs even more and slammed his cock in and out faster. “This is pleasure. Enjoy.” He said before releasing himself inside of her.

“I’m coming!!” Ah!!!” she cried and came on the same time. She was no longer in condition to feel anything that she fell, exhausted, on her back. “Ah…ah..Heiwajima-san…” her eyes were closing slowly. She fell asleep right away after this intense moment.

“Rest.”

* * *

At Akawusu Mikiya’s mansion.

Mikiya, the heir of the group, left Ikebukuro for Shinjuku. He didn’t stay at his home because he knew he was threatened. He didn’t want to put his family in danger again. Akane had already been kidnapped the last time and after what happened lately, it would be safe to stay out of the neighborhood until things went back to normal. He loved his family and would do anything to protect them, especially his daughter.

Mikiya's relationship with his daughter was strained. Initially, Akane looked up to her father as a successful owner of an art gallery and wished to support him by becoming a famous artist. Likewise, Mikiya cared for Akane but was usually busy and frequently came home late which made him somewhat distant. He seemed to want Akane to stay out of the criminal side of their family and kept the details of his work a secret from her at least until she was old enough to comprehend them. When Akane learned the truth, her trust in her father was almost completely shattered which put an immense strain on their relationship. Mikiya's difficulty with discussing the matter hadn't helped either. While Akane still loved her father, she was in near constant doubt about his intentions.

Around the house, the Yodogiri’s men were watching, waiting for instructions. A man approached the leader.

“Omijira-san. We’re waiting for the signal.”

Kane observed the house with his binoculars. “We’ll keep following the plan. Split in groups and keep your position until you get rid of the guards. I take care of the Heir.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Don’t forget the orders: we want the kid alive. Kill the others but don’t touch the girl.”

“Got it.”

The men moved in the night as shadows. There were one hundred of men protecting Mikiya’s family if it wasn’t even more, but Yodogiri’s group had planned this attack. They had called reinforcements. They wanted the heir’s head…and this night, they would have it.

The first guards got killed without shots. But after a certain time, it was impossible to remain unnoticed and the alert had been given.

“They’re coming!! Over here!!”

“Shoot them!! Don’t let them come in!!!”

Shots and screams started to resonate in the garden, then in the house. This was a battle to death. There would be loss from the two sides tonight…

“Protect the boss! Don’t let them coming in!!”

Kane managed to pass the security and slashed with his katana the men in his way. He also used his gun to kill the others who dared attacking him. He was covered by six of his men and looked for Mikiya everywhere.

After have cleared the passage, he gave other instructions to his men. “Find the girl. I’ll deal with Mikiya.”

“Yes sir!”

During this time, Akane was hiding. Her mother told her to hide in the secret place of her bedroom. Inside of the cupboard, there was a hidden place, unnoticeable from outsiders, just above the floor. She was supposed to be safe here. The poor little girl was shaking as a leaf, hoping this nightmare would end soon and her parents would be alright. She tried to remain as quiet as she could but it was hard. She was terrorized since she could hear the noise, the shots, and the screams outside. 

The Yodogiri’s men arrived in her bedroom and began to look for her.

“Where is she?”

“She must be here. She couldn’t have run away before.”

In Mikiya’s bedroom, the woman was hiding pointing a gun on the entrance, ready to shoot the first intruder. She was shaking hard. For their security, her husband told them to split to get more time until they got rescued. But it looked like the Yodogiri’s men were well prepared and several in number. A locker of the door started to crack…the woman knew someone was trying to come in, so at the second the door opened, she shot.

“ARG!!” one man fell, shot in the stomach.

“FUCKING BITCH!!” yelled the second guy who shot back.

She managed to escape, rushing to the bathroom and closed the door quickly. The man didn’t go immediately after her. He knew she was trapped in the bathroom and she had no chance to escape, so he helped the other one who got shot, dragging him inside of the room.

“Damn bitch! I’ll take care of her soon enough.”

But from the bathroom, the woman continued to shoot. “GET OUT OF HERE!!” she screamed terrified.

The man riposted and shot through the door…until he got slapped from behind. The other one who was lying on the bed just had the time to see a tall man dressed with black clothes and a black helmet.

“You…” but he got hit on the head before he could add another word.

In the bathroom, the woman stopped to shoot. She had no munitions anymore. The door cracked and she saw the intruder. At the beginning, she thought it was Yodogiri’s men. She was preparing herself to be killed when the stranger moved closer and held his hand to her. She blinked, wondering why he didn’t already kill her. She understood he had no intention to kill her.

“Who..are you?”

He didn’t reply or move. She took his hand and followed him. She could see the two men who attacked her lying on the floor and on the bed, knocked. The biker checked the corridor to be sure it was secured and dragged the woman with him. He arrived in front of a closet and opened it. He pushed the woman inside and put his finger at the place of his mouth should be if he wasn’t wearing the helmet. She nodded and he closed the door.

During this time, in Mikiya’s office.

The man had prepared himself to fight. He was well equipped. But he had chosen to fight with his katana. He was waiting for his opponent. Kane broke the door with his foot and cleared the passage before coming in.

“So you’re the one sent by Yodogiri?” asked Mikiya standing on his feet.

Kane faced him. “Here he is. The heir of Awakusu’s group.”

“You guys may have a lack of honor, but I figured out you would have at least some dignity to fight me fairly.” He proposed holding his katana.

“I’ll give you this, Mikiya-san.” Agreed Kane taking his katana.

The two men challenged themselves before attacking each other. The battle was rude because both of them were good fighters. The blades collided together noisily and it didn’t take time for them to hurt each other pretty bad. Mikiya got his shoulder slashed while Kane had been pierced lightly on the left hip.

“You’re pretty good…” Kane rushed to him and pierced his right leg with his blade again. “But not good enough for such a high ranking personality!”

“Do not underestimate me!” Mikiya answered by slashing his chest.

Kane moved back pretty hurt but was still standing on his feet. But in his state, he wouldn’t stand much longer so he decided to drop the dignity and to end the mission. He grabbed his gun in his back and aimed the man.

“It was an epic fight, Mikiya-san but that’s enough for today.”

“You fight with no honor.”

“Definitely. Sayonara, Mikiya-san.” But when he was about kill him, he dropped his gun, shot in the hand. He didn’t have the time to look at his enemy that the black biker rushed to him and began to hit him several times in the face. Kane fell on the floor, on his back and got hit and hit again until he faint from the pain. The black biker was still standing above him but stopped beating him. He took his gun and threw it to Mikiya. He needed one to defend himself. The man stared at him with interrogation.

“Who are you?”

The biker didn’t reply and approached. He took keys on the desk and walked away to reach his side. He enrolled his arm around Mikiya’s waist and helped him to walk.

Leaving the office, he could see several enemies knocked or dead, lying on the floor. The biker was walking toward a certain direction and released him to open a closet.

“Darling!” the woman came out of the closet and jumped in her husband’s arms.

“Good to see you’re safe, honey; Where’s Akane?” he hugged her quickly before pushing her back.

“I don’t know. I suppose she’s still hidden in her bedroom. This man rescued me and hid me here…” she explained.

Mikiya looked at the biker. “I can’t leave without my daughter.”

The biker gave him his keys, telling him to go to the garage. They needed to escape.

“Not without my daughter.”

The man held him a piece of paper with an address. Mikiya and his wife read it. “What is it?”

The biker didn’t reply and just nodded mentioning the keys in his hand. Mikiya understood the man was telling him to escape with his wife.

“Promise me you will bring my daughter back.”

The man raised his left hand to swear. He didn’t need to talk to be understood.

“Let’s go.” Said Mikiya to his wife.

“But Akane…”

“I trust him. He will bring her back. Don’t worry.”

“But we don’t know him and…”

“Do as I say and shut up!!” replied the man angry.

The biker nodded to the woman to reassure her.

“Take care of her.” She said before following her husband.

She helped him to walk and they reached the garage. In their way, they met some of the Awakusu’s men who protected them until they could reach the car and escape.

In Akane’s bedroom, the men were still searching the girl.

“There must be some hidden places here. Watch closely and find her. We can’t leave without the kid.”

One man was staying at the door to give the alert. The two other ones were searching everywhere when one of them finally saw something in the cupboard. He made a discreet sign to his friend and they approached slowly. Akane was trembling so hard than she didn’t notice the sudden silence until the door of the hidden place opened.

“Here you are cutie…” the man tried to get the girl with his hand but he got bite hard and moved back.

“LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! COME HERE!!” he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out.

“AAHH!!! LET ME GO!!!” yelled the poor girl struggling.

“Shut up!” the second man slapped her face before putting some adhesive tape on her mouth and around her wrists.

“Let’s go.” They moved to the door. “Is everything alright Shuji-san?” But the third man didn’t reply. They called him again. “Oi! Shuji!”

It was just when they reached his side they understood he was knocked. They didn’t get the chance to understand who did this, that the first man got kicked with a foot in the stomach and the head before collapsing. The second one who was caring up Akane got punched in the head and fell as a dead body on the ground. Akane got caught just in time before hitting the floor. The black biker removed the adhesive tape on her mouth and cut it around her wrists. The little girl stared at the man and hugged him even if she didn’t know him.

“Oni-chan saved me…” she said pressing her head against his stomach.

The man just stroked her hair tenderly and carried her on his back before leaving. He reached the garden where his bike was and made Akane sit in before him. He turned his bike on and left the house as fast as he could; he got noticed by Awakusu and Yodogiri’s men who were still fighting but no one got a chance to stop him.

Izaya had received a message from his source.

“Looks like your plan failed, Yodogiri-san…” he said grinning.


	19. Only acts matter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left and it's over for the first part! Thanks for reading!

A few hours later, Akane arrived with the black biker at the address. Her father and mother were waiting with some bodyguards.

“Akane!!” said the mother relieved, rushing to them.

“Momy!!” the cute little girl jumped from the bike and hugged her mother tightly.

“You’re safe now, my darling! I’m so relieved…” she looked at the biker without never releasing her daughter. “Thank you so much, Sir..”

The man just nodded and was about to leave when Akane grabbed his knee. “Oni-chan, don’t leave…”

The biker kept the same position and seemed to stare at the kid. “Oni-chan saved me and…my parents. I want Oni-chan stay with us…Oni-chan is good…”

The man stroked her hair but pushed her hand away softly. He turned his bike on again and disappeared as fast as he arrived. Mikiya from his position didn’t try to stop him. He knew the stranger wouldn’t tell him anything. He wondered who he was and why he did help them. He had heard about him since he was the one who stole the second golden horse during the assault on the road, but he had no ideas about his motives.

“Let’s go home. We can’t stay here any longer. It’s dangerous.” Concluded Mikiya.

Everybody went back to the car and left the place. Mikiya needed medical cares while his wife and Akane needed to rest. They were still under the shock.

* * *

Kasane woke up in the morning. Her body hurt everywhere but she didn’t mind. She noticed the empty side of the bed and understood Shizuo already left. She got up, went to the bathroom and after had taken a shower, she dressed again. She walked to the living room and was surprised to see the man drinking his coffee peacefully sitting around the table.

“Heiwajima-san, good morning.”

“Morning.” Replied Shizuo without looking at her.

“I thought you left?”

“Why should I have done that? I have nowhere to go.” He got up and prepared some toasts and a tea before deposing everything on the table.

She approached and sat with him. “I used to do that for you.”

“I know.”

“Itadakimasu.” She started to eat in silence. Shizuo kept his eyes on his cup.

“Why didn’t you use Saika last night?” he finally asked.

“Why should I have used her?”

“To restrain me. I wouldn’t have hurt you this way.”

“I was the one who asked you this, remember?”

“It was a long time ago.”

“Yes. But for once I wanted to feel it by myself and not through her power…” she admitted.

“Did you feel it?”

“I did.” She stared at her shaking hands. “I still can feel it…” but she seemed to be happy. “Thank you.”

“…”

“So I suppose you don’t hate me after all.”

“I don’t think I can possibly understand the meaning of this word anymore.”

“Except for Kane.”

He glared at her. “Don’t ever pronounce or mention this name again.”

“My apologies.”

Her cell phone rang. She stopped eating and got it on her bag. “Hello?”

_“Kujiragi-san? Are you with Heiwajima?”_

“Yes. We stayed at his home all the night as you requested. What’s wrong Sir?”

_“The plan failed. Mikiya and his family escaped.”_

“What happened?”

_“The biker. He was there. I contacted Sin. I’m waiting for information.”_

“I’m coming to the quarters with Heiwajima-san.”

_“Hurry up.”_

She hung up the phone. “We have to go. The boss is waiting for us.”

“What is it?”

“The plan failed. Awakusu’s heir is still alive.”

* * *

Izaya had a meeting with Shiki. They met in their usual place, at the Awakusu’s quarters.

“So Mikiya-san is still alive?”

“Yes.”

“How many men dead?”

“About 50. Yodogiri’s men did affect us but the most important is the heir (and his family) is safe.”

“I see. They don’t seem to have appreciated your last actions. You made they lose a lot of money.”

“We just took back what they stole us.”

“With a generous benefice. About 20 000 000 yens? “

“I don’t think it really matters now, Orihara.”

“Ah! Ah! Sorry Shiki-san.” Laughed Izaya.

“Your information was right. It gave us the chance to get our money back. We expected reprisals. But not this one.”

“You underestimated Yodogiri. You were lucky the unknown biker rescued them.”

“Yeah…that’s why you’re here. What do you know about him?”

“I thought Mikiya-san met him?”

“He did but the biker remained quiet and left after have brought back Akane-chan. We don’t know anything about him.” Shiki took a cigarette. “I don’t know what to think about him since he crossed us for the second golden horse…”

“I see. You wonder what his intentions could hide.”

“Just don’t know which side he is. He’s a shadow.”

“He seems to serve his own interest.”

“The same as you.”

“But I never caused you troubles. Actually, him neither since he didn’t interfere when you attacked them at the port. He just took it first before you. ”

“Indeed. A source told us you are in contact with an employee of the port. Hajime Shishizaki.”

Izaya looked troubled but kept his façade. “So?”

“We investigated about him. A good fighter, as strong as Heiwajima-san. As brilliant as you, Orihara.”

“Such a perfect man! What do you mean saying that, Shiki-san?”

“Couldn’t he be the black biker?”

Izaya smiled. “If I remember correctly, the black biker is a female headless creature…am I wrong?”

“Stop playing around Orihara!” Shiki got pissed. “Why is he working with you?”

“Personal reasons. I didn’t remember I owed you anything.”

“You owe me. Should I recall you our deal?”

“You’ve done nothing to protect him.”

“Our deal didn’t mention any protection, but only no reprisal.”

“If you really want to know, Shishizaki-san was my sempai at Raira academy.”

Shiki raised an eyebrow. “So it’s a touching reunion between his sempai and his kouhai? Do you seriously think I’m gonna believe in this shit?”

“Oooh…Shiki-san is not funny…” pouted Izaya.

Shiki lost his temper and pointed his gun on Izaya’s forehead. “Don’t fuck with me, Izaya.”

“Don’t be so angry, Shiki-san; you may need me in the future. It would be a shame to kill your best source just because you can’t stand a little joke, don’t you think?” teased Izaya.

Shiki pulled his gun out of his face but continued to glare at him. “Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t trust you. I will grant a big service to this city if I killed you right now.”

“Life would be so boring without me, you know it.”

“Is Shishizaki the black biker or not?”

“How am I supposed to know? Nobody never saw his face or heard his voice.”

“Why is he working with you?”

“We have some common business but nothing which concerns you or the Awakusu-kai.”

“You better tell me the truth because if I discover you knew anything, you’ll pay the consequences.”

“I’m aware of that, thanks.” Izaya got up. “Maybe you should reconsider the information your source gave you.”

“Should I question yours?”

“Of course not!”

“Then, stay in contact. I want to know everything about him as soon as you’ll get something.”

The meeting ended and the both of them split.

* * *

Yodogiri’s quarters.

The old man was furious. He had convoked his men to think about another plan. He couldn’t accept to have failed this way when he was so close to destroy his enemy once for all.

Kasane and Shizuo arrived later. He could see everybody was tensed.

“Sir. Kujiragi -san and Heiwajima-san have arrived.”

He nodded and stared at them while they came in.

“Sir.” Said Kasane.

“Sit.” He ordered.

Kasane and Shizuo sat in front of him in silence.

“So what happened? You told me the black biker disturbed our plan?” asked Kasane.

“He rescued Mikiya, his wife and his daughter. Nobody saw him coming.”

“Did you contact your source?”

“Sin told me he didn’t find anything about him. He’s uncatchable. Nobody knows anything about this son of bitch.”

“Your source told you the last time it couldn’t be Shishizaki Hajime but you should seriously reconsider things about him.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s working with Orihara.”

“But he was at the port when the biker came to steal the second golden house. It can’t be him.”

“But our men left the port after have taken the box, right? So he could have got the time to follow us.”

The old man frowned. “Sin would have known about him.”

“I don’t know your source. Why do you think we can trust him?”

“Because he owes me a lot. He wouldn’t betray me. Besides, he proved me I could trust him more than once so there’s no doubt about the faith I have in him.”

“I see. But we still don’t know who the biker is.”

“The fact we don’t know his identity doesn’t mean he doesn’t work for Orihara.” Said a man.

“That’s a possibility but since he’s uncatchable as Orihara is, we’re stuck.” Told another man.

The old man looked at Shizuo. “I’ve got an idea to make him get out of his hidden place…”

“What’s the plan, Sir?”

“Let me think about it. Heiwajima-san, get ready to act soon.”

Shizuo nodded keeping silent. Kasane felt something different in the old man’s expression but she said nothing.

* * *

Izaya went back to home. Hajime was waiting for him. 

“I am home.”

“Welcome back.” Hajime was having a hot drink, fixing the city, through the window. “How was your meeting with Shiki-san?”

“Since when did you start to spy me, Hajime-sempai?”

“I told you I’m paid to watch over you.”

“Protection doesn’t imply those sorts of activities…” Izaya took his knife and threw it into Hajime missing his head few at few meters and planted on the wall. “Don’t ever interfere in my business.”

“I didn’t.” Hajime took the knife and threw it back to him planting it in the table next to him.

Izaya was exasperated. He couldn’t stand him even if he needed him. But it was too much. As long as he didn’t question him about his work, he was tolerable.

“Get lost. I don’t want to see your face anymore.”

Hajime approached. “You know I won’t leave.”

“It’s not a request! Leave!!” Izaya started to attack him but Hajime avoided his blows and pinned him against the wall. He blocked his hands taking the care to remove his knives from his pocket.

“LET ME GO!”

“How is it to be messed around, Izaya-kun?”

“JUST FUCK YOURSELF!”

“You love create chaos. Seeing people reacting to your traps is pleasant for you. What do you feel when the roles are reversed?”

“LET GO!!” But Izaya knew he wasn’t strong enough to defeat his sempai. He was as strong as Shizuo. How could he even think to fight back against him? Shizuo…he suddenly thought about him.

“You think about Shizuo. Just imagine what you did to him during all those years…” said Hajime.

“Fuck off! You don’t know anything!” Struggled Izaya. He panicked when he abruptly felt his hands running all over his whole body. “W-what do you think you’re doing???”

“I’m touching you.”

“You think I want to be touched by a disgusting son of bitch like you? Hands off immediately.” Izaya tried to look strong but he was terrorized.

Hajime pinned his hands strongly against the wall, above his head and unbuttoned Izaya’s pants.

“STOP!!”

He pushed his pants and boxer down, exposing his slender and naked body.

“STOP! I DON’T WANT TO!!”

“What about him? Did you ever ask Shizuo?” he asked back.

“…” Izaya calmed down, remembering some events of his life he desperately tried to forget. He stopped struggling, defeated.

Hajime released him. “See…it’s painful, right?”

“…”

“You’re far from what you did to him. If I wanted, I could hurt you.”

“Do it. I suppose I deserve it.”

“Yes you deserve it.” But he moved away. “But I won’t do that. I’m not as cruel as you.”

“…”

“He wouldn’t want I do that. I respect Shizuo more than I respect you.”

Izaya fell on his knees, still half naked. Hajime went back to his initial place, facing the window. After a long moment of silence, he heard Izaya putting his clothes on again.

“Hey…”

“What?”

“When…did he ask you to protect me?”

“He?”

“Shizu-chan.”

“Why do you think it’s him? I don’t know his or her identity.”

“You said yourself: I’m a bad person. Who would have been crazy enough to ask this for me? You know the same way I do it can’t be anyone else.”

Hajime put his hands in his pockets, keeping his back on Izaya. “I had some doubts, yes.”

“When did he ask you?”

“Right away after Ruri’s kidnapping. Maybe two or three days after. Why do you ask?”

“Did he know I was in a coma?”

“I suppose he did. That’s why he wanted to be sure no one would ever lay a finger on you again. This man your sisters attacked came for you too. Not only for Ruri.”

“I know.” Izaya kept his eyes on his sempai. “Why do you help me? And don’t tell me it’s because you’re paid for.”

“I don’t know. I always thought it was my role to stop the both of you…” replied Hajime looking at him.

* * *

Yodogiri had convoked some of his men in a private reunion. For once, they had moved to another and unknown location.

“So? What do you expect from us, Boss?” asked one of the men.

“Awakusu’s group did a lot of damages to our business. Our last attempt failed. But it gave me the chance to observe them. Launching simultaneous attacks was brilliant. So we’ll do the same thing.” The old man was grinning. “But this time, we’ll aim four targets. No more.”

“Four?”

“Yes.”

“But Sir…”

“I’ll get rid of the Awakusu-kai and of another disturbing person…the number of attacks doesn’t matter. We just have to aim the good targets.” He gave a look to Kane. “I think you have a revenge to take against the biker, right?”

“Yes. I’d be delighted to care of him personally. If he hadn’t been there, I could have killed Mikiya.”

“I know.” The old man gave them his instructions. “Be ready. We can’t fail this time.”

“Shouldn’t you inform Kujiragi-san?”

“I’ll inform her later.”

* * *

Shizuo was back to his home. Kasane was with him. She was working on her computer while Shizuo had some rest in his bedroom. He was sleeping but not as peacefully as he wanted. He was having a nightmare again.

_“What did you say, bitch? I can’t hear you!” Kane was fucking him hard and fast. The poor Shizuo was on his elbows and knees, enduring his rapist’s abuse. His mouth was gagged. _

_“You love it so much, huh, Blondie?” Kane was thrusting him harder, making him sick. _

_Shizuo was trying to focus on something else to forget the sickness. He couldn’t throw up but he was at least not forced to face him. _

_Kane never had enough to torture him. He had put a cock ring around Shizuo’s organ to tease him. The blond tried to release himself discreetly thinking Kane was paying attention on him…but he didn’t get the time to touch the cock ring that the pervert noticed him and yanked his arm on his back._

_“What do you think you’re doing? Who said you could remove it without my permission?”_

_Shizuo closed his eyes defeated. He knew he would get punished for that. _

_“You’re a very very bad boy…” Kane tied his arms on his back and began to slap his buttocks hard. After few minutes of slapping, Shizuo’s skin was already red. He was shaking hard each time he felt the hand hitting him. _

_“You know, you don’t really need these anymore…” Kane grabbed his testicles and squeezed it firmly, rubbing a knife softly. “I could just cut it…”_

_Shizuo started to panic. He struggled but the more he moved the more the blade was hurting him, piecing his flesh. _

“Shizuo…you’re so beautiful…”

_The blond blinked. The sudden memory was distracting him from Kane’s abuse._

“I’m sorry…I can’t hold back anymore…”

_“Who…who is it?”_

“Don’t worry…I’ll make you feel good…”

_“What’s happening? Who are you?”_

“It’s just a dream…don’t wake up…just a dream…”

A mouth was sucking him gently…a wet tongue was going up and down, licking the top of his cock, when a hand was pressing gently his testicles…

_But this memory vanished when he felt the blade cutting his balls._

_“Mmmhh!!” he tried to scream but no sound came out._

_“What’s wrong, Blondie? Are you scared?” laughed Kane._

_Shizuo was crying. His whole body hurt. He didn’t want to be tortured more than he was already…_

_Kane released his mouth to allow him to speak. “Say it.”_

_“P-please…d-don’t…” he whispered shaking._

_He got slapped in the face. “That’s not what I want to hear. Try again.”_

_“I…I’m s-sorry…”_

_“That’s better.” Kane made him raise on his knees and faced him. He lay down on his back. “Ride me and make me feel good. Maybe I’d forgive you and would allow you to come…”_

_Shizuo didn’t move immediately. He kept his eyes down, refusing to face the man. Kane lost his patience and pinned Shizuo violently against the headboard of the bed. He spread his legs wider and thrust in him again savagely. _

_“Too bad, bitch. You missed your chance.” He continued to rape him and strangled his throat so hard that the blond was choking. But it didn’t stop him. He used all of his strength to hurt him as much as he could. Shizuo was screaming, begging him to stop…but nothing worked. _

“Heiwajima-san.”

Shizuo didn’t open his eyes. He was struggling in his sleep.

“Heiwajima-san. Wake up.”

He suddenly opened his eyes, and recognized his place. Kasane was above him.

“You were having a nightmare.”

He wiped his forehead covered of sweat and got up. He kept his back on her. “Why…”

“?”

“Why…did you let him...” but he changed his mind. “Forget it.”

Kasane followed him in the bathroom. “Tell me.”

“I told you to forget it.”

But she didn’t move. “You hated him at the second you saw him. Why?”

Shizuo went in the shower and washed his body; he knew Kasane was staring at him but he didn’t mind. He didn’t bother to reply and finished to shower. When he had done, he dried his body and hair with a towel.

“So?” she asked again.

“I just hate him. That’s all.” He ignored her and went to his bedroom to dress again.

“Didn’t you hate Orihara Izaya the same way the first time you saw him?”

He became furious and pinned her body against the whole grabbing her by the throat. “How dare you comparing this son of bitch with him?”

“It’s just a simple question.”

He released her turning his back to dress again. “You don’t know Izaya. Don’t you dare talking about him when you know nothing.”

“Why do you hate Kane that much then?”

“I told you I didn’t want him. But you didn’t listen.”

“You don’t answer me.”

Shizuo finished dressing. “He’s a monster.”

“I know I’ll make you mad again but Orihara-san…”

He cut her in the middle of her sentence. “Izaya is not an angel, but he at least did things for a certain reason, contrary to him.”

“What reason did Orihara have to hurt you this way?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then, what difference between them?”

“You don’t have to understand…”

She continued to stare at him. “So…this is what love is, right?”

“…”

“This feeling can make you forget and forgive everything…”

“Who said I forgot or forgave Izaya?”

“But you don’t hate him.”

“That’s complicated.” He got distracted when he heard her cell phone ringing. “Your phone.”

She took it and checked the message she just got. “I must go now.”

“Should I come with you?”

“No. it’s not necessary. You can stay here to rest.” She went back to the living room and deposed her phone on the table to grab her jacket and her shoes. Shizuo followed her.

“We’ll continue this discussion later, Heiwajima-san.”

He shrugged to make her understand he didn’t care and looked at her leaving in silence.

* * *

In a club, Akabayashi was having a drink peacefully. He was waiting for his acquaintance when he finally arrived.

“Aozaki-san.”

The man just nodded to say hello him and sat in front of him. He called the waitress.

“What can I serve you, Sir?”

“A double whisky.”

“Yes Sir.”

When the lady left, they started to talk.

“So?”

“The heir is out of danger. But the Boss wants reprisals. We received information from our source.”

“Orihara?”

“No. I don’t deal with him, like Shiki-san.”

“Who, then?”

“We have a mole infiltrated in their group. He keeps informing us about their actions.”

“So?”

The waitress came back with Aozaki’s drink and left again.

“They planned to attack us soon. Their attempt against the heir failed so we’re the next targets on their list.”

“I figured out we would have been their first choice. Attacking the heir was too big for them.”

“They could have succeeded if the biker hadn’t showed.”

“Did Shiki get some information about him?”

“Not yet.”

“I don’t know what to think about him.”

“Me neither. We can’t consider him as our enemy since he saved the heir and his family. But I don’t see him as our ally either. “

Their discussion got interrupted when two unknown guys approached. Akabayashi and Aozaki stayed on their guards, ready to react. Besides, Aozaki’s bodyguards were watching them closely. But when they tried to stop the two men, they got hit and they used their guns, provoking panic and chaos in the pub.

Everybody went down on the floor to avoid the shots. Akabayashi and Aozaki rushed to the men and started to fight, shooting in their direction. They perfectly knew who sent them. It couldn’t be anyone else than Yodogiri. In the battle, Aozaki got shot in the leg and hid behind a bench.

“Damn it!!” he cursed.

Akabayashi was watching him to be sure he was alright but didn’t get distracted and stayed focused on their men. He hit one of them in the shoulder but he realized soon he was out of munitions.

_“We’re fucked.”_ He thought looking at Aozaki.

The man shot by Akabayashi got up and made a sign to his friend they were out of munitions. The both of them walked slowly to their targets, ready to finish them. The other customers were too scared to dare doing anything…

“AARRGH!!” a scream resonated in the place. The hurt man got hit in the legs and fell on his knees while his wound on the shoulder got pressed severally. He never had the time to hit his opponent back that he got knocked.

“YOU FUCKER!!” The second man tried to hit the intruder but got kicked in the stomach and fell on his back. The stranger approached and slapped his face violently to knock him down too. He looked for something in his pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He checked some of the last messages and put it on his pocket, when Aozaki turned around and aimed him.

The man avoided the bullet and grabbed a gun on the floor and shot Aozaki in the hand.

“AAAAAARGGGHH!! SON OF BITCH!!” cursed Aozaki.

The guy didn’t waste more time and prepared himself to leave when Akabayashi got up and aimed him too. But this time, he didn’t shoot him. He kept fixing him. He was dressed with black clothes and the hood was hiding his face. Strangely, the man just faced him and didn’t shoot. They kept fixing each other when the stranger finally decided to leave. He turned his back on Akabayashi…who didn’t shoot him.

“Idiot! Why did you let him escape?” complained Aozaki.

“He saved our lives. Why should I have done that?” he approached and helped him to get up. “Let’s go.”

* * *

After a certain time, Kasuka and Ruri had decided to leave. They had engaged more bodyguards and went back to their home. They didn’t want to disturb Celty and Shinra more they already did.

During The same night. Shinra was having some rest. Celty had been called for a delivery and was out for the night since she had been sent at the other side of the city. Shinra had a hot drink watching the tv. He didn’t pay attention someone was trying to force his door since the tv was on and was covering the noise. But after few seconds, the door cracked and crashed on the floor.

Shinra jumped from the sofa, panicking, but it was already too late; Two intruders forced the way and looked for him. The doctor rushed to the kitchen and grabbed a pan, waiting for the enemy. The first one got hit straight in the face and fell but the second one began to shoot.

Shinra jumped on the floor and hid the best way he could to protect himself, praying for Celty’s return…

“Get out of here. You’re already dead, Kishitani-sensei.” Said the man.

“Why do you want to kill me?” Asked Shinra desperately, still hiding.

But loud fast steps were resonated in the corridor and even if Shinra couldn’t see anything, he understood someone just came in. He could hear noises from his position. They were fighting. After a moment of hesitation, Shinra picked a look and saw a man with a black suit and another one dressing in black with a helmet. He thought immediately about Celty.

“Celty?”

But he realized soon enough it wasn’t her but a man. The biker got distracted by Shinra voice and the other one took this chance to shoot him. Fortunately, he aimed him bad and hurt his shoulder. The man saw Shinra and aimed him. He got hit again by the biker and fell on the floor.

During this time, the second man who got knocked by Shinra’s pan woke up and joined the battle. He had jumped on the biker and had pierced his back with his knife several times. But the biker managed to get rid of him, throwing him at the opposite side of the room, but unfortunately near of Shinra’s position.

After a short time, he recovered and noticed Shinra; he jumped on him, ready to kill him. Shinra blocked his hand to protect himself from the knife but got hurt, when the blade hit his chest.

“HELP ME!!!” Screamed Shinra.

The biker rushed to him and grabbed the knife with his hand. He used it against the killer and planted it in his stomach before pushing him away. Shinra was hurt but it didn’t look serious. The biker helped him to rise on his feet and heard some steps in the corridor. Several persons were coming and he understood the two men probably came with reinforcements.

He carried Shinra and walked to the balcony. When he reached it outside, he looked around and noticed they were too high to hope jumping without being hurting. But the reinforcements were already there, so he had no time to think anymore.

“Wh..what are y-you doing??” asked Shinra disoriented and hurt.

The biker didn’t reply and jumped with him. But at the second he jumped, he got shot in the back, Which made him miss his goal. He managed to catch Shinra and grabbed the balcony at the floor below. In the fall, Shinra hurt his head against the handrail. The biker pushed him on the balcony and joined him before carrying him again. The people who were living in this apartment didn’t seem to be there tonight so he broke the window and rushed to the door. Shinra was now unconscious.

The biker checked the corridor and took the elevator. Fortunately, he didn’t meet anyone on his way, until he reached the first floor. Two men were aiming him with their guns and began to shoot. The biker protected Shinra throwing him away before attacking them. He didn’t take time to get rid of them but when he was done, he realized he had hurt Shinra again throwing him away. He went back to him and grabbed his hurt body to leave.

He finally arrived outside and rushed to his bike when he heard a noise coming from behind. A horse’s roar. He looked back and saw Celty on her bike.

** _“SHINRA!!!”_ **

She became furious and attacked the biker with her shadow. The man struggled to release himself but Celty’s shadows were stronger. Shinra’s body fell on the floor and it was only for this reason she released him to rush to him.

**_“SHINRA!!”_** She shook his body and showed her PDA. But the poor doctor was in bad shape.

The biker took this opportunity to run away with his bike as fast as he could. Celty wanted to go after him but Shinra needed medical cares and he couldn’t wait. She enveloped him in her shadow and left immediately. She knew where Shinra’s father lived and it was the only person she could trust now.

** _“Hold on. Shinra.”_ **

“C-Celty…” murmured the underground doctor on the road.

* * *

In the headquarters, Yodogiri was waiting for some news. He didn’t look tense or anxious. On the contrary. He was calm…as if everything was alright. Kasane didn’t understand and guessed he had planned something which he didn’t inform her.

After minutes of wait, his phone rang.

“So? Have you done it?” he asked directly.

“The blue and red devils are still alive. Someone came. Kishitani-sensei too.”

“The biker?”

“Yes.”

“What about the last target?”

“We got her, Sir. As you planned, nobody was there to protect her.”

“Good. Bring her here immediately.”

“Yes Sir.”

Yodogiri hung up his phone and grinned victoriously. Everything went according to his plan. He turned around and faced Kasane.

“Kujiragi-san.”

“Yes Sir?” she approached.

“Call Heiwajima-san and tell him to join us here.” He said without giving more explanations.


	20. Good intentions make good men

“Oi! It’s time to wake up, son.”

Shinra opened his eyes slowly. He recognized immediately this voice. “Dad?”

“I told you he was fine! You really didn’t have to worry that much!” replied the old man turning around to face Celty.

She completely ignored him and rushed to Shinra. “**_Are you ok?”_**

“C..Celty…Don’t worry. I’m fine. Thanks to you…you came to rescue me…” said Shinra smiling.

But he could see she was shaking. He understood she was probably still under the shock to have seen him so hurt.

“Celty?”

** _“DO NOT EVER DO THAT AGAIN TO ME! IDIOT!!” _ **

He smiled at her and took her hand before deposing a soft kiss on it. “Forgive me…”

** _“Who was…this son of bitch who did that to you?” _ **

“What?” frowned Shinra.

** _“Have you seen his face? Did you recognize his voice?”_ **

“No. He never removed his helmet…” Shinra thought deeply. He remembered perfectly what happened even if he was still weak and shocked.

** _“Don’t you have any idea about his identity?”_ **

“…” Shinra didn’t reply immediately. Actually he had some clues about the person who this stranger could be. Someone as strong and agile couldn’t be anyone else than…Shizuo. Besides, it would make sense because if Shizuo was working with Yodogiri, he would have known about the assault since they were friends; he would have come to rescue him. The other person who would have been able to act this way was Hajime, but since Shinra didn’t know he was back to Japan and working for Izaya in addition of that, he didn’t suspect him.

“**_Shinra_**?”

“Huh? Sorry…Yes?”

** _“You look thoughtful…is there something wrong? Are you feeling bad or something?”_ **

“No, no…don’t worry…it’s ok.”

Celty nodded. “**_So?”_**

“So?”

** _“Do you know who this bastard could be?”_ **

“Why…do you call him this way? I mean, Shiz...” but Shinra stopped talking immediately when he realized he said his name out loud.

** _“WHAT????”_ **

“No! Listen to me…” but it was too late. Celty was furious.

** _“SHIZUO DID THAT TO YOU????”_ **

“No! Celty! Listen to me please!”

** _“HE’S DEAD!!!” _ **

“Celty!”

But she didn’t listen anymore. She was already running after her target.

“Celty!!” Shinra tried to run after her, but he fell on his knees. Fortunately, his father grabbed him just in time before he hit the ground.

“Don’t move. You’re too weak. You have to rest.”

“But she’s going to kill him!!”

“He deserves it if he’s the one who attacked you.”

“No you’re wrong! You don’t understand! Shizuo saved me! He came to rescue me! And I’m not even sure it was him!”

“But you said…”

“I suppose it’s him because he was strong but I don’t know! Anyway, he never attacked me! He helped me to escape from my aggressors and Celty met us when we were in the streets. She thought he was the one who attacked me…”

“In that case, let them have a conversation to clear the air.”

“When it concerns me, Celty never talks, she hits first…and I don’t think she would hit nice this time. I must stop her.”

“You won’t go anywhere in this condition.”

* * *

After a long moment, a man finally came in the place. He nodded to Yodogiri. The old man nodded in returned and got up.

“Let’s go Kujiragi-san.”

“Where are we going, Sir?”

“You’ll see.”

“But aren’t we supposed to wait for Heiwajima-san?”

“They will tell him to join us there. Follow me.”

Kasane noticed something unusual in the old man. She didn’t ask more and followed him obediently. They arrived outside and came in a car before leaving for an unknown place.

During the road, the old man was grinning. He didn’t look at her. She felt uncomfortable so to break the silence and to erase this smile on his face, she asked him about something painful.

“Sir? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Tell me about the golden horses.”

The man stopped smiling and fixed her intensely. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I’m curious. I don’t know much about this story. I just know the Russians played an important role in this story…but I don’t understand why you cherish those things that much.”

The old man took the time to collect his memories. His face was full of melancholy.

“There were three golden horses to begin with…”

“Three?”

“The last one got lost in the ocean…”

“Tell me.”

“The first man of our name, Yodogiri Akuma, had three sons: Ryu, Kaneda and Ishida. During a trip in Russia, he met some people for his business…some people who became his friends. The Petrov sealed this new friendship between our two families with a gift…”

“Three golden horses for the three sons.” Guessed Kasane.

“Correct. Time passed and we kept this bound with them…until we got attacked and betrayed.”

“The Petrov betrayed your family?”

“It was during Ryu’s wedding. Nobody except the closest persons of our family knew the location of the ceremony. We already had enemies and they didn’t want to take any risk.”

“What happened exactly?”

“They came in with guns during the ceremony. They killed everyone.”

“Everyone?”

“Except Ishida. He was hiding under a table during the ceremony. He was the youngest heir of the family…my great grandfather.”

“I see. So…what happened next?”

The old man just smiled and waved at her. “That’s a long story. We don’t have much time to talk about this…”

The car stopped and they arrived in front of a large building. Kasane followed Yodogiri and felt even more uncomfortable. They came in a silent room. Kasane stopped and faced Yodogiri’s back.

“Why did you tell me your story?”

“You were the one who asked me.”

She noticed something was wrong and stayed on her guard, ready to use Saika.

“I’ve been loyal to you. I had faith in you Kujiragi-san.”

Then, Kane appeared behind her. She turned around to face him but she didn’t have the time to look at him that she felt a pain in her leg. She checked her injury and noticed a little dart. A guard was holding a gun.

“Wh..what is it?” she murmured trying to take it off.

“Nothing which would kill you, don’t worry.” Replied Yodogiri calmly.

She felt her strength was vanishing. She didn’t have enough energy to use Saika. She began to feel extremely weak until she couldn’t stay on her feet anymore. She fell on her knees, exhausted.

“W..why?”

“That’s my line, Kujiragi-san. Why did you betray me?”

“I..I di..dn’t..”

“You told me you would kidnap the doc but in the end, you aimed Ruri. I was looking for her. We had her. And what did you do? You let her escape. You brought her back to them”

She understood suddenly why Kane was here now. He was the one who told him about Ruri.

“We…wanted…to break Hei..wajima-san…”

“I also wanted Ruri and you gave her back to them. Why? She was mine.”

“Sh..e was n..ever yours…”

The old man sneered. “You’re so nice for someone so emotionless…” He walked toward the first window. “You knew too for Heiwajima-san, right?”

“W..what?”

“Never mind. I will end this tonight. I have other plans for you, my dear.” He made a sign to Kane. “Bring her.”

“Yes sir.”

Kasane never knew where Kane was bringing her. She fell asleep just at the time he picked her.

* * *

In the city, Kadota and his friends had a break.

“Why don’t we go to the Russian sushi? I’m hungry!” proposed Erika.

“Ok. Let’s go.”

They arrived in front of the restaurant. After the last incident, everything went back to normal. Simon was inviting the people in front of the restaurant as always.

“Come on! The best sushi in Ikebukuro! Eat sushi!”

“Hi Simon!”

“Oh! Kadota-san and his friends! Welcome! Come in!”

The group entered and chose their usual table. They ordered some drinks and Simon arrived quickly to bring it.

“Here your beers.”

“Thanks. So? How are you? Looks like you didn’t waste time for the repairs, guys!”

“Yes! We received money so we could do it fast.”

“Ah? You must give us the name of your bank!” said Walker.

“It wasn’t from the bank.” Replied the chief preparing the sushis.

“Ah?”

“Someone sent Celty the same day with money for Simon.”

Kadota thought deeply. “Who was it from?”

“We don’t know. The sender didn’t give any name. He just let instructions and the money for Celty. That’s all.”

Kadota and the chief looked each other in silence, as if they were speaking with just their eyes. This money was related to the robbery…so to Shizuo, even if he still had some problems to understand the blonde’s role in this mess.

He was about to speak when his cell phone rang. He checked it and read the message he just received.

“Dotachin?” asked Erika.

“We must leave now!”

* * *

Shizuo arrived in front of the location Yodogiri gave to him. The place looked too calm for him. He knew something was wrong. He received a message which gave him the exact level where he was supposed to meet the old man. He took the elevator and arrived at the tenth floor. He knocked at the door.

“Come in, Heiwajima-san.”

The brunette pushed the door and noticed two little figures curled in a ball on the floor. Two girls with the feet and the hands tied on the back. He didn’t take much time to recognize Ruri and Kasane. They looked unconscious. He was about to move when several guns and rifles were aiming him. The old man turned around and faced him.

“I’m glad to see you, Heiwajima-san. Please have a seat.” He showed him the chair.

Shizuo walked to the chair slowly, fixing Ruri and Kasane on the floor.

“Don’t worry for them. We didn’t hurt them.”

He remained quiet and faced the old man.

Yodogiri sat in front of him. “Did you really think that I would trust you?”

“I thought I proved my loyalty.” Replied Shizuo.

“Yes you did once, stealing the golden horse in the Awakuzu’s mansion.”

“I did bring you money doing what you asked me to do.”

“And you made me lose more.”

“I always did my job. The missions you failed weren’t mine…” and he turned his face on the left to fix Kane.

“So it’s probably a coincidence if the black biker always disturbed us, especially when you weren’t there, is it not?”

“Are you insinuating I’m the back biker?”

“Who else?”

“And what would be my motives?”

“What were your motives to join us to begin with?”

“You already checked if it was me sending your monkeys to Kujiragi-san the first time you met him.”

“It seems like Kujiragi-san wasn’t as loyal as I thought.”

“Maybe you should reconsider the information your “source” gave to you.”

Yodogiri fixed him intensely. What did he know about his source? About Sin?

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t you think strange to see all the precious information he gave to you were wrong?”

“So…it was you too? What did you do to Sin?”

Shizuo just smiled viciously. The old man understood he wouldn’t answer.

“You fooled me. You played the loyal dog bringing me the golden horse to make me trust you…”

“Who said you still have the golden horse?”

Yodogiri’s smile vanished. “No…you didn’t…”

“You should use a better combination for your safe…581473, isn’t it?”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Do you think so?”

He looked at one of his men on the right to ask him to check it.

“Don’t bother to check it. I already took it and hid it.”

The old man lost his temper and grabbed Shizuo by the collar, placing a gun on his forehead. “What are you, son of bitch? Are you working for the Awakusu-kai?”

“Not even close.”

“So what? A foot in two camps? Why??? Tell me why!”

“Why?” laughed Shizuo. “It’s because I despise people like you.”

“Are you telling me you played this little game just to destroy us?”

“You hurt my friends and my family. You touched what was the most important thing for me, so I did the same thing to you. You will never get it back.”

Yodogiri pushed Shizuo, who fell on his back, near of Ruri. He aimed her head pointing his gun on her.

“Do you realize they are gonna die because of you?”

“It won’t happen.”

“Do you think so? Tell me what could stop me!”

Someone knocked at the door, which distracted the guards and Yodogiri. It gave the opportunity to Shizuo to hit the old man with his foot. He grabbed his gun and aimed him.

“Drop your guns, all of you.” ordered Shizuo.

Nobody dared to move and was waiting for instructions.

“I won’t say it twice.”

“Do as he said. Drop your guns.” Said Yodogiri.

The obeyed and moved back after have deposed the weapons on the floor.

“You’re finished. You can’t leave this place alive with them, you know it.”

Shizuo didn’t reply but it was true. He couldn’t stop aiming Yodogiri to grab both Ruri and Kasane to leave. They would kill them right away. He wasn’t scared for himself but he didn’t want to risk their lives…he wished he could have come with his friends…but thinking about the last months, he had no friends anymore. To protect them from Yodogiri, he had hurt them…

“Give it up, Heiwajima-san. It’s over.”

Kane had kept a gun in his back and took it quickly. He shot Shizuo in the hand, making him release his gun. Yodogiri moved back and let his guards grabbing it fast on the floor. The rest of the men took theirs again and aimed Shizuo.

“Don’t worry. I won’t kill them. You’re the one who’s going to die today. But I wanted you could say them goodbye.” He nodded to his men.

“Do you realize that if you kill me, you will never get the golden horse back?” said Shizuo, holding his bloody hand.

“Would you tell me where you hid it?” The old man smiled. “Of course not, so why should I waste more time with you? I will get it back. It will take days, weeks, months or years, I will take it back.”

“Yeah…in your dreams.” Laughed Shizuo.

“Finish him.”

“Yes Sir.”

But the door crashed suddenly and something noisy and blinding exploded in the room. Everybody crashed on the floor or against the wall in the dust and the rumbles.

After a deafening noise, Yodogiri managed to open his eyes when he felt Kane was carrying him.

“Sir?”

“Wh..what happened?”

“I’m not sure…someone threw something the room, maybe a deafening grenade or something like that. Are you ok?”

“Where’s this bastard?”

“He left. I sent men after him. He won’t go far. He can’t escape, the building is surrounded.”

“He didn’t come alone. He has reinforcements.”

“We must put you in a safe place. I’ll take care of him personally, don’t worry.”

“Bring Ruri and Kujiragi-san out of here.”

“It’s already done, Sir. Can you get up?”

“Yes.”

Kane let the old man leaving with several men and moved closer to another one. “Don’t tell the boss. Find Heiwajima and we’ll find them.”

“Understood.”

* * *

The whole building was searched. Each place was checked to find Shizuo. The brunette had found a safe place. In the chaos, he managed to grab Ruri and Kasane before leaving. He didn’t really know what happened and who came to help him or if it was just another attack from the Awakusu-kai but he didn’t mind. 

“Kasane. Wake up.”

The woman opened her eyes with difficulties and recognized Shizuo.

“Hei..wajima-san?”

“We don’t have much time.” He released her. She was still dizzy.

“Why..did you come here?”

“I didn’t know they got you or Ruri.”

After some minutes, she collected her memories and saw Ruri.

“Yodogiri knows about you.”

“I know.”

“…”

“You knew too, right?”

“…”

“Why didn’t you tell anything?”

“I had no reason to say it.”

“But you’re working for Yodogiri. You could have told him about me but you covered me. Why?”

“I only work for myself. Yodogiri and I just have some common business.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“But it’s mine. What about you anyway? Why did you join them? Was it just a way to destroy them?”

“I wanted to leave, leaving my life, my past behind me. That’s why I asked you to break me. But I realize that no matter what I could do, I would never be able to forget my friends, my family…”

“I failed to break you, Heiwajima-san.”

“…”

“You’re definitely the most incredible person I ever met in my life. I should have known I wouldn’t break you. I underestimated you.”

“Can you use Saika again?”

“I’m still dizzy because of the drug but I suppose I can.”

“Ok. You’ll need her to leave. We need to escape but you’re not in condition to take care of Ruri in your state.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I can’t protect the both of you. You can defend yourself so I’ll drag their attention to let you leave.”

“So…it’s a goodbye?”

“We can say so. Ikebukuro isn’t that big. I suppose we’ll meet again.”

Kasane approached and kissed Shizuo slowly. They both looked each other in the eyes.

“I’ve learned so many things with you.”

“I brought you troubles asking you this. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Heiwajima-san. I apologize to not have been able to grant your wish. But as you said, you can’t stop loving them no matter what you tried to do. It was a losing battle to begin with.”

“Maybe you’re right…”

“Take care of you.”

“You too.” Shizuo smiled at her a last time before opening the door and leaving with Ruri in the arms. He ran as fast as he could.

After some minutes of running, he arrived at the stairs but noticed some men coming from downstairs. He understood his only way to leave the place was the roof so he went upstairs. On his way, he met some guards but he didn’t need much effort to get rid of them. He still wondered what happened and who came to help him. He could still hear some shots which made him understood that the Yodogiri’s men were fighting against other people. He didn’t care. As long as he could leave, he was ok with it.

* * *

“Kida-kun!”

“Anri-chan! Mikado!” The three friends met in the stairs. “I sent my men with some of Chikage’s guys checking the places. Have you seen Ruri-chan?”

“No. We’re still looking for her. Kadota’s group and Simon are in the road.”

“I saw Yodogiri leaving.” Added Anri with her red eyes. “Keep looking at her. I’m gonna neutralize the men with Saika.”

“I’m coming with you.” Said Mikado.

“No. Go with Kida-kun! Don’t worry, I can take care of myself.” She didn’t wait for his approval and left.

“Sonohara-chan!”

But Kida stopped Mikado. “Shell’ be alright, don’t worry. We must find Ruri.”

Mikado, still worried for Anri, sighted and nodded. He accepted to follow Kida and they kept checking the whole building.

Anri was on her guards. Each time she met a man, she sliced him with Saika and made him obey her. She suddenly heard some voices yelling.

“She’s there! Grab her!”

Anri immediately went after the voices. They probably found Ruri so there was no way she would let them catching her. But when she was running in the direction of the voices, she heard some shouts again and saw the men crashing on the floor and the wall one after another. She reached the place and her Saika got hit by another blade.

“Sonohara-san?”

“Kujiragi-san??”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m looking for Hijiribe-san, but…what about you?”

“I’m trying to leave this place. Are you alone?”

“No. Ryuugamine-kun and Kida-kun are with me…”

“That’s good. Be careful.”

“Kujiragi-san! Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry for me. But use your “children” to protect yourself. They are all after Ruri-chan. You need help.”

“Stay with me.”

“I can’t. I must leave. Have you seen Heiwajima-san on your road?”

“No. Is he here?”

“So I suppose he’s still here…” Kasane opened the window and prepared herself to jump. “Goodbye Sonohara-san.”

“Wait!”

But she jumped without waiting and used Saika as a rope to pass between the buildings. She disappeared pretty fast leaving Anri alone.

* * *

A man arrived on the roof. He was wearing a black helmet and was checking every place around to be sure he was safe. He was holding something or someone in his arms and walked still on his guards.

But when he made some steps, black shadows blocked his way and began to attack him. The two bikers faced each other but strangely the man decided to not fight Celty. She went after him.

“Celty! Stop!” Kadota arrived with his friends and interfered but she didn’t listen to ho him and went after the black biker.

“FREEZE!”

A shot hit the black biker in the left shoulder.

The man turned around and faced the person who just shot him. It was a young man. He was trembling, holding a gun.

“Release her…” he said shacking.

The black biker didn’t move.

“I SAID RELEASE HER!” he shot him again this time in the right leg, which made fall on his knees.

“Kasuka! Stop!” Claimed Kadota. He looked at the black biker and noticed he was hurt. “Shizuo!”

“What???” blinked Kasuka.

The black biker didn’t move but deposed Ruri’s unconscious body on the floor.

“Stop running Shizuo.” Said Kadota.

After a moment of silent, Shizuo removed his helmet and let appear his face. He stayed on his knees but turned around to face his brother, Kadota’s group and Celty.

“Nii-san…why??” asked Kasuka. “Ruri??”

“She’s safe.” Replied Shizuo.

Celty approached and strangled Shizuo with her shadows. “**_WHY DID YOU ATTACK SHINRA??”_** she tapped on her PDA.

“He didn’t attack him. He saved him.” said a familiar voice coming behind them.

“Izaya…” murmured Kadota.

Shizuo looked at him in silence. Izaya walked to Celty and put his hand on her shoulder.

“I think Shizu-chan had enough for today. Let him go.”

She released him but she was still mad. On the other side, Kasuka was still under the shock. He had shot his own brother without knowing it was him behind this helmet. At this moment, he just saw Ruri in danger. 

**_“What is happening here? You knew it was him since the beginning? Why did he do all of this mess???”_** asked Celty.

“The only thing you have to know is he never hurt you on purpose. We’ll talk later. For now on, we should leave this place.” Izaya turned his head and locked his eyes on Shizuo’s ones. “It’s ok Shizu-chan. Let’s go home.”

Izaya held his hand to him. For the first time, he didn’t look nasty or something. Shizuo could see the sincerity in his eyes. It was the face he always wanted to see in Izaya. He felt at ease and secured. He got on his feet slowly and stayed immobile, still unsure.

“It’s ok.” Izaya reassured him again and decided to join him when he remembered Kasuka had shot him in the leg. Of course Shizuo could handle it. It wasn’t the first time he got shot. But Izaya guessed Shizuo needed some comfort.

But at the opposite side of the building, someone was fixing the brunette from his position. He aimed Shizuo with his rifle and was ready to shoot…

Izaya was coming closer. He could see so many emotions in Shizuo’s face: tiredness, sadness, fear, despair, loneliness, love…

_“Still the same kid after all these years, Shizu-chan…but don’t worry. I’ll be there for you now. You won’t need to hurt yourself anymore. You’re not alone…” _

It was as if Shizuo could hear those words from Izaya. They didn’t need to talk. Their eyes spoke for them.

_“Izaya…you came for me..”_

It was the last thing Shizuo saw before hitting the ground…Izaya’s smile.

“Got you, son of bitch!” Said proudly Kane after have shot Shizuo in the head.

“SHIZUO!!!”

“Everybody get down!” shouted Hajime, shooting in Kane’s direction. Unfortunately, he missed him. Kane just had the time to escape.

Izaya rushed to Shizuo, ignoring Hajime’s order.

“SHIZUO!!!! SHIZUO!” He immediately checked his pulse, but the only thing he could see was the blood on his face, on his hair…Shizuo wasn’t moving. Shizuo wasn’t breathing anymore…his eyes were wide open, freezing his expression on his face.

Hajime joined Izaya, followed by Kadota and Celty. Kasuka was frozen, incapable to understand what just happened.

“SHIZUO! WAKE UP!”

Hajime understood quickly there was nothing to do anymore…he tried to cool down Izaya putting his hand on his shoulder but the raven pushed him away and continued to shake Shizuo’s body strongly.

“DON’T YOU DARE DOING THIS TO ME! THEY TRIED TO KILL YOU COUNTLESS TIMES AND YOU STILL MADE IT!!”

Kida, Anri and Mikado just arrived with Chikage and could see the situation. Everybody was under the shock. Nobody talked. The only voice they could hear was Izaya’s one, who was trying desperately to wake up Shizuo.

“WAKE UP! SON OF BITCH! DON’T YOU DARE DOING THIS TO ME!!!! ARE YOU LISTENING?!!”

“Izaya…it’s over. Stop it.” said Hajime.

“FUCK OFF! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU??”

“I’m sorry…I saw him too late.”

“SHUT UP! IT’S NOT TOO LATE! DID YOU FORGET WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT???”

“Izaya.”

“THIS IS HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO! THE MONSTER OF IKEBUKURO!!”

“Izaya.”

“HE CAN’T DIE! HE CAN’T DIE!!”

“IZAYA!!!” shouted Hajime, which cooled the raven just for a few seconds. “As much as he’s strong…Shizuo isn’t immortal. No monster no matter how powerful he could be can survive to this…”

“No…you’re lying…he..can’t die…” murmured Izaya. “It’s not..it’s not the first time he got shot…let’s…let’s just bring him to Shinra and…”

“Izaya. Shizuo is dead. It’s over.” Hajime turned around and closed Shizuo’s eyes with his hand.

“No..no…”

“Izaya.”

“No, no, no, NO!!” The raven grabbed his knifes in his pocket and turned around to face Celty and Kasuka. “SONS OF BITCH! EVERTYHING IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT!! HE NEEDED YOU AND YOU JUST GAVE UP ON HIM!! ALL HE DID WAS FOR YOU! TO PROTECT YOU!!”

“Izaya, calm down please…” tried to say Kadota.

“FUCK OFF! YOU PRETEND TO BE HIS FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER DESERVED HIM! YOU’RE THE ONES WHO KILLED HIM!!”

People started to move back. Izaya was now enraged, ready to kill everybody on his way.

“You…Heiwajima Kasuka…You even shot your own brother! He came to rescue your girlfriend! It was your job to protect her and this is the best way you found to thank him? Shooting him???”

Kasuka was incapable to react. He didn’t realize Shizuo’s death yet…

“I’LL AVENGE HIM!! ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! THAT’S WHAT YOU DESSERVE, TRAITORS!!”

But Izaya never had the time to hit anyone that Hajime knocked him from behind and collected his body before he could hit the ground.

“Sorry Izaya…” Hajime carried his friend in his arms and returned to his previous position, near of Shizuo’s body. He put Izaya on his shoulder and grabbed Shizuo’s helmet before putting it on his head again. He took Shizuo’s body and carried him on his other shoulder.

“What are you doing?” asked Kadota.

“You should leave this place. Yodogiri’s men are still there…”

“Where are you taking them?” demanded Erika.

“I don’t think we should divide them from each other. I’ll take care of Shizuo.”

“But…”

“I’ll give you some explanations later. Now, let’s leave this place. I let you take care of Ruri.”

Hajime disappeared with Izaya and Shizuo’s body, letting the rest of the group alone in this roof. The last place where all of them were together…for the last time.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your support, especially to you spukusuk19.   
There will be a sequel of this, but i'm still thinking about the plot. Thanks again guys and see you soon ^_^

_“Hello?”_

“Kishitani-sensei? Shishizaki-san is speaking.”

_“Oh Shishizaki-san! Long time no see. How are you?”_

“Not good as I wish. I need your help. Could you meet me now please?”

_“Are in you in troubles?”_

“No…it’s not for me. Please.”

_“Ok…hum, where should I meet you?”_

“I’m sending you the address.”

_“I’ll come as fast as I could.”_

“Thanks. Don’t tell anything to Shinra please.”

_“Looks like serious…”_

“It is. How is Shinra?”

_“He’s feeling better, thanks for asking.”_

“Good. See you later. I’m waiting for you.”

Hajime put his phone back in his pocket and turned around to face Shizuo and Izaya.

“Sorry guys…”

He looked at Izaya and realized he couldn’t let him see Shizuo in this state.

He took his phone again and composed another number.

_“Hello?”_

“Shiki-san?”

_“Who is speaking?”_

“I’m Shishizaki Hajime.”

“…” After a moment of silence, Shiki talked again. _“So…it was you for Aozaki and Akabayashi? I suppose I must thank you for this?”_

“I’m not calling for this.”

_“So? What do you want?”_

“I want you come to pick up Izaya for me.”

_“What’s wrong with him?”_

“Just come and bring him back to his home. Don’t let him alone until I come back.”

_“Where and when?”_

“At this address, in one hour.”

_“Understood.”_

The conversation ended. One hour later, Shiki was there as requested. They didn’t talk much and Hajime let them bring Izaya. To be sure he wouldn’t wake too fast, he had given him a sedative. He needed time to prepare him. Shizuo’s death wasn’t something Izaya could handle so easily…

* * *

About thirty minutes later, Shinra’s father joined Hajime in the location he gave to him.

“Shishizaki-san.”

“Thanks for coming, Kishitani-sensei. Follow me.”

The two men walked to another room. Shinra’s father saw in a table a large white sheet covering something which he guessed was a corpse.

“Who is it?”

Hajime removed the sheet letting appear Shizuo’s body.

“Heiwajima Shizuo? Dead???”

“Can you do something to fix his face please? I don’t want to let the whole Ikebukuro knowing Heiwajima Shizuo is dead…and it would be bad to leave him this way…”

“What happened to him? Who killed him?”

“Someone from Yodogiri’s group.”

“Oh…I see. Looks like he got killed by his own masters…”

“Shizuo didn’t work for them. He infiltrated the group to destroy them.” He turned around to face him. “He didn’t attack Shinra. He came to rescue him.”

“That’s what Shinra told me.”

“Can you take care of him please?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks. Call me when you’re done.” Hajime was leaving, letting Kishitani alone.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll go back to another friend…”

* * *

The days passed and nobody got news about Hajime. Shizuo’s death was in everybody’s mind. Izaya’s sadness and anger too.

Celty went back to Shinra and told him what happened. She was totally devastated. She didn’t need to have a face to cry. She had lost her best friend…after have hurt him so bad. She felt terribly stupid to have thought that Shizuo could have wanted to hurt Shinra…

Kadota and his friends passed the rest of the week without saying a single word. Kadota knew since his fight with Shizuo in the Russian Sushi that the blonde was the black biker. He actually had no proof but he guessed it. The way he fought, the money Simon received after the robbery…the fact that he didn’t hurt him when they fought against each other in the alley…too many coincidences which proved he was right about Shizuo. But there were so many questions without answers. He was waiting for Hajime’s explanations as everybody.

Kasuka came back to Shinra and Celty’s home with Ruri. During the whole time until Hajime contacted them, he didn’t speak, eat or sleep. He became a zombie, despite the fact Ruri’s efforts to make him react…Kasuka was dead inside. He couldn’t forget Shizuo’s face…

Hajime contacted them a few days later. Everybody met in Shinra and Celty’s house. Tom, Simon, Kasuka, Ruri, Chikage, Kida, Mikado, Anri, Kadota’s group…everybody was there.

“So? How is Izaya?” asked Shinra.

“Not good. I asked Shiki to watch him while I’m here.” Replied Hajime. He looked around but didn’t see Kasuka. “Where’s Kasuka?”

“In his bedroom. He didn’t speak or eat anything since Shizuo’s death…” answered Ruri sadly. “I feel so bad…It’s all because of me…”

“Don’t say that Ruri-chan…” told Erika trying to comfort her.

“Tell us what happened with Shizuo. You were watching him since the beginning with Izaya, right?” asked Tom.

“After his quarrel with Celty and Kadota, Shizuo was really down. I don’t really know what happened because Izaya called me later after Shizuo’s disappearance. But he told me Shizuo hurt himself again and again. Apparently he met Kujiragi-san on his road and he followed her. I don’t understand why or what happened, but it looks like she tortured him…” started to explain Hajime.

“Why Kujiragi-san would have done this?”

“According to what Izaya told me, it seems that Shizuo was the one who asked her to do this. I suppose he wanted to be hurt to forget his mental troubles…”

**_“What did she do to him?”_** demanded Celty.

Hajime kept quiet and just looked at her. “I don’t think I really need to tell you since you saw how much Shizuo changed after that…the only thing I could tell you is that she tortured him…with the son of bitch who shot him in the head.”

“…”

“But why did Shizuo join Yodogiri’s group?” wondered Kadota.

“Shizuo knew Yodogiri was looking for Ruri. He wanted to protect her and probably made them pay to have hurt her. Besides…”

“Besides?”

“Yodogiri was the one who hurt Izaya.”

“Ah yes…that’s right. Izaya got stabbed by someone in the street…” remembered Shinra.

“What about the black biker?” demanded Kadota.

“Shizuo couldn’t break his cover with you, guys. After have stolen the golden horse to the Awakusu-kai, Yodogiri investigated and thought it came from the Russians, so he sent his men to the restaurant.”

“Why the Russians?”

“That’s a long story, but to be short, Yodogiri wanted to take back two golden horses which belonged to him in the past. The Russians used to be involved in this mess…”

“…” Simon kept quiet. He had nothing to say.

“Shizuo came in the restaurant as the black biker not because he wanted the money but because the robbery would drag the police and would stop Yodogiri’s men. He even gave the money back to Simon.

**_“So he was the one who hired me to give the money to Simon?”_** demanded Celty.

“Yes. After that, Yodogiri thought Izaya was behind this. He even investigated about me when he discovered that I was in the town.”

“So that’s why Mairu and Kukuri got kidnapped? To drag Izaya?” guessed Shinra.

“Shizuo knew it and he requested Celty’s help to rescue the twins.”

** _“I see. So when he threw them over the window, he knew I would be there to rescue them?”_ **

“I prepared myself to react in the case of you wouldn’t have been there in time. I was with Izaya all this time. We saw everything.”

“Why Izaya called you anyway?” demanded Walker.

“Izaya knew that at this rhythm, Shizuo’s cover would blow soon so it was a way to put the confusion in everybody’s mind. Everybody knows that I’m strong as Shizuo so the black biker couldn’t be anyone else than me or Shizuo. Besides, Shizuo requested my help to protect Izaya after Ruri’s kidnapping. Since he knew they tried to kill him, he wanted to be sure I protected him.”

“So…he never turned his back on us…” said sadly Mikado.

“He was also there to save Akane and her family.” Added Hajime. “We tried with Izaya to help him when he couldn’t be everywhere. Yodogiri launched several attacks against different targets…Shizuo rescued Shinra, I came for Aozaki and Akabayashi but we didn’t think he would aim Ruri-chan since he already kidnapped her. Plus, we thought she was safe with Celty and Shinra.”

“How did Yodogiri discover about Shizuo?”

“Kujiragi-san knew it but never said anything. Kane had some doubts about Shizuo.”

“Kane?”

“The bastard who killed Shizuo…and tortured him. Shizuo hated him.” Hajime looked down. “They confronted Shizuo and were about to kill him when we interfered and gave him the opportunity to run away with Ruri and Kujiragi-san. We told you where you could find us to be sure we would have enough reinforcements to help Shizuo…but we failed in the end…”

Kasuka appeared from his bedroom. He had dark rings under his eyes.

“Kasuka…” murmured Ruri approaching.

“Did…he hate me?” asked Kasuka to Hajime.

He turned around to face him. “Shizuo never hated you, even for one second.”

“…”

“Your brother knew why you chose Ruri and he wasn’t angry or sad against you. You and he both knew that Shizuo could deal with it alone contrary to Ruri-chan.”

“I abandoned him…”

“Kasuka…please, don’t blame yourself…” begged Ruri crying.

“I shot him…I shot Nii-san…”

Hajime came closer and put his hand on Kasuka’s head. “I know Izaya’s words hurt you but your brother loved you. He wouldn’t accept to see you blaming yourself this way.”

Kasuka fell on his knees, exhausted. That was too much for him. Hajime stayed with the group the rest of the day for Kasuka. Fortunately, Shinra was there to take care of him.

At the end of the day, Hajime was about to leave when Celty went after him.

“Yes?”

“…” She tapped some words on her PDA. **_“Shizuo_** **_was my friend…I can’t believe he’s dead…”_**

“I know…”

** _“What are you gonna do now?”_ **

“I’ll take care of Izaya…”

** _“And…what about Kane?”_ **

“I’ll go after him. There’s no way I will let this son of bitch living…as the rest of Yodogiri’s group.”

** _“The day you’ll find him…call me.”_ **

Hajime smiled. “Don’t become like that, Celty. This is not you.”

** _“I wasn’t there for Shizuo when he needed me…I want to avenge him.”_ **

“This privilege is Izaya’s one. I don’t think he would appreciate to see you taking Kane’s life at his place.”

** _“Ok…then, make him pay hard for Shizuo. I want he suffers until his last breath.”_ **

“Don’t worry for that.”

** _“And…what about Shizuo’s funerals?”_ **

“…” Hajime looked away, uncomfortable. “I’ll take care of this. See you later.”

Then he left without waiting.

* * *

Hajime arrived at Izaya’s place. When came in, Shiki’s men left. Izaya was fixing the window with dead eyes.

“Hi.”

“…” Izaya didn’t move and kept fixing the window. After a moment of silent, he finally spoke. “You don’t need to babysit me anymore. Your job is over now Shizu-chan is dead…”

“You know as I do I don’t do it because it was a job that I was paid for…”

“I’m not suicidal. You can fuck yourself now and leave me alone.”

Hajime just fixed him without moving. “I heard Kane left for Kyoto.”

“I know.”

“Of course.”

“…” Izaya finally moved away from the window and took a cup of coffee. “He’s not the only one…”

“Are you talking about Yodogiri?”

“Kujiragi.”

“You know she just did what Shizuo asked her.”

“She introduced Kane to Shizuo. He hurt him.”

“You hurt Shizuo the same way.”

Izaya glared at him. “Not this way…”

“You’ve got this point.” Agreed Hajime.

“Don’t get on my way. Kane is mine.”

“I’ll be in your way if it’s to protect you.”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR FUCKING PROTECTION!” Izaya yelled at him and threw his cup over him. “GET OUT!!”

Hajime avoided the cup and understood he better leave. Izaya wouldn’t listen to him.

“I’ll always be there. You know where you can find me.” Then, Hajime left and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Later in the day. Somewhere in Ikebukuro.

“Kishitani-sensei?”

“Oh Shishizaki-san. Welcome back.”

“So?”

“What you asked me is done.”

“Why did you take so much time to do that? I suppose it would just have taken a day. Why did you tell me to come back later?”

“Look closer.”

After a minute of observing Shizuo’s body, Hajime blinked. “Don’t tell me…”

“It doesn’t mean anything but…”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted to be sure…should we bring him to…”

“Can you take care of him?”

“Yes but…”

“Keep doing it then and don’t talk about this to anyone.”

“Will you tell it to Izaya?”

“Izaya is the last person who should be informed about this. Please.”

“As you wish.”

Hajime gave him money. “Thanks for your hard work. We stay in contact.”

The end.


End file.
